HatedByAll
Changed by the Grace of God
- Sep 13, 2019
- 148
- 149
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
Sometime in eighth or ninth grade, I started to fantasize about these boys. I started to suspect that to be a close friend to these boys, I would have to be more than just a friend. . .
I had a wound in the perception of myself. I felt unworthy as a human and as a man. My same sexual desires were not about "sex," in the early days it was because of my desires to have friends who where my equals or betters.
During this time, one of my older sisters had problems herself. I received the brunt of her acting out. Even though at times she was a great and loving sister, I also truly feared for my life. For instance, she stabbed me with a fork one time to the shoulder bone. Another time, she seriously injured herself when I locked her out when she was in one of her rages. I can not say if I had sexual orientation problems because of feeling inadequate as a male, or if it had more to do with fear of women because of my fear of my sister's rages. I had no desire to have intimate relationships with females, but I was desperate to have close relationships with other males.
I said all this to say, in my case, I wanted to have homosexual sex because I believed it was the only way that I could have a close friendship with a man who I felt was worthy of being my friend. Early on, it was not about sex, it was because I believed something other than the truth of the Word of God.
I had a wound in the perception of myself. I felt unworthy as a human and as a man. My same sexual desires were not about "sex," in the early days it was because of my desires to have friends who where my equals or betters.
During this time, one of my older sisters had problems herself. I received the brunt of her acting out. Even though at times she was a great and loving sister, I also truly feared for my life. For instance, she stabbed me with a fork one time to the shoulder bone. Another time, she seriously injured herself when I locked her out when she was in one of her rages. I can not say if I had sexual orientation problems because of feeling inadequate as a male, or if it had more to do with fear of women because of my fear of my sister's rages. I had no desire to have intimate relationships with females, but I was desperate to have close relationships with other males.
I said all this to say, in my case, I wanted to have homosexual sex because I believed it was the only way that I could have a close friendship with a man who I felt was worthy of being my friend. Early on, it was not about sex, it was because I believed something other than the truth of the Word of God.
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