Socially Weary

[MB123]

For the past 5 or 6 years or so I've been struggling with depression and anxiety, mainly having to do with social anxiety, and panic attacks. I have a really hard time building up a relationship to a deep and genuine level, but I also get incredibly exhausted from talking to people on a surface level. I've always just known that the friends I have now have just clicked with me, and I always told myself that God made it happen because I don't even know where my good friendships really began. However, I have recently taken on the role of a community leader for my campus ministry at college, and a lot of people around me are telling me that I have to reach out to people. I do understand the importance of this; however, when people reached out to me in my first year of college, I felt like it was forced. I feel this intense pressure that my social skills are just not at the level that a leader needs, but at the same time, that thought sounds ridiculous when it crosses my mind. I thought maybe this is how I am so that I can reach out to others who are like me and take a while to come around. However, it's been really difficult to watch other leaders grow relationships seemingly effortlessly. It's not that I can't talk to people or say hi to them, but all of this is draining me. It's so hard when this takes so much effort for me and so much anxiety, and others don't see my point of view or understand why I can't just go out there and build relationships. I was just wondering if anyone else has struggled with a similar story and any advice you could give. Sorry for long post.

 

[Heavenhome]

I don't have any great answers to help you in the role of community leader but I firmly believe not all roles are right for us.
You may be better quietly one on one than having to push yourself somewhere that makes you anxious.
Not everyone is a leader and I know in the past I got myself in positions where I was very uncomfortable as I am not an overly outgoing person.
As time has gone on I recognise that and no longer put myself in that situation.
I've found that God will guide you to where is right for you and with me having trusted God for this I have found that He does just that and the conversation and relationship will just click, if that makes sense.

I agree with you also about superficial small talk, I just can't be bothered with that at all.
Above all don't beat yourself up about it, we are all different and to put your trust in God by praying for His guidance, He will surely do so.
God bless you

 

[lismore]

. Sorry for long post.

Hello MB123. These things are harder for you, for us. But God sees that. God understands. God sees your heart. So please don't stress, as Heavenhome said above, trust in God, pray. Sorry I don't have more advice for you than that, but you're doing a very worthwhile thing for the Lord, he will bless you. God Bless

 

[Nyoka bigsby]

Hey,
I've defintely had my struggles with this,but don't be to hard on yourself like the posts said above. One of the greatest misconceptions we have about leadership is that you need to be outgoing, loud and charismatic. If God has called you to the position He will more than equip you to do the work. If you read in Genesis, Moses denied God's request for leadership because He claimed He could not speak. But God lead Him in which he was able to lead an entire nation, imagine that for a man who's to nervous to speak. There's nothibg to hard for God.
Also don't let others around you discourage you, be who you are in Christ, if you don't like small talk don't force it. I used to be really nervous and shy around people but I've learned to accept myself as I am and stop trying to behave and act like others who are more outgoing than me. As I've started to do that I learned to gain my own quiet confidence.
Also one thing that helps me when I'm nervous around new people, anxious about spreading relationships is praying for God to give me the strength to do it, admitting to Him my weakness and allow Him to grow me in that area, of my life. It won't be easy because when God starts to heal our anxiety it can bring up some painful memories but just know that little by little God will help you to find your confidence in being God's child. and being the unique individual He created you to be