Thinking about going to church

[9Rock9]

So, I used to go to church almost every week when I lived with my mom. I moved out years ago, and my church attendance has decreased. Nowadays, I only go to church whenever I happen to be visiting my mom. I want to change this.

The problem is, I have pretty bad anxiety. It's mostly generalized anxiety, but social anxiety is the main problem. The thought of showing up at a new church out of the blue is daunting to me. I know that most churches are welcoming of newcomers, but I still can't shake the anxiety.

I'm Baptist, but I'm not going to rule out Wesleyan-Holiness denominations as well. While I am a credobaptist and Congregationalist, they aren't hills I am dying on. The only issue I have with Holiness dominations is that allow ordained femal clergy.

 

[PloverWing]

Most churches these days have a web site that includes contact information for the pastor. You might email the pastor before you visit and tell them what you told us, that you'd like to visit but you have social anxiety, and you want to know what to expect before you show up. A good pastor will be, well, pastoral, and should be able to reach out to you in ways that can calm that anxiety about a first visit.

 

[sandman]

In most any act there is Anticipation, Realization, and Memory.

Anticipation can be positive or negative …. Excitement or anxiety …. (sometimes both, and sometimes just neutral)

Fear of the unknown cause’s anxiety …with the mind running through different scenarios that could be or might be.

So, you can bail on the idea ….or…. walk forth with the knowledge that you are a son of God with the spirit of God within, and you are going to meet other family members in the body of Christ …thus conquering the fear of the unknown. …which 99.9% of the time is much worse in your mind ….than the reality of the situation.

If you go with the heart of loving and blessing others …you will never ever be uncomfortable.

 

[d taylor]

So, I used to go to church almost every week when I lived with my mom. I moved out years ago, and my church attendance has decreased. Nowadays, I only go to church whenever I happen to be visiting my mom. I want to change this.

The problem is, I have pretty bad anxiety. It's mostly generalized anxiety, but social anxiety is the main problem. The thought of showing up at a new church out of the blue is daunting to me. I know that most churches are welcoming of newcomers, but I still can't shake the anxiety.

I'm Baptist, but I'm not going to rule out Wesleyan-Holiness denominations as well. While I am a credobaptist and Congregationalist, they aren't hills I am dying on. The only issue I have with Holiness dominations is that allow ordained femal clergy.

For very accurate teaching i would recommend a Free Grace Church. https://faithalone.org/

Here is a link to their church tracker page on their website. Free Grace Church and Bible Study Tracker – Grace Evangelical Society

 

[OldAbramBrown]

I hope they won't block the doorway, demand to know your personal state when you are quite entitled to be inarticulate or even private, and stick their fingers in your personal space (or prod, poke and stroke you, or do horrible things to your hands) like most churches do to me. Then they say "we were only being friendly" which shows how lacking in intelligence, care and belief they are. Such individuals have often been instructed to regard visitors as ignorant. If I manage to sweep past, it makes them feel insecure (good). But if that was my job, I wouldn't mind people coming in like that: and I'd probably be told I wasn't doing it properly.

They ought to position people standing back a bit, once after entering you have attained a larger space, whom you can approach if you want information. Or if the foyer is larger than their other space they should wave at you from one side (rather than hang in a closed clique) and then you can respond how you like. If the foyer is cramped there should be only one or at most two, standing well clear of those entering, and just smiling or nodding, because that's in our faces enough.

At a church I occasionally go to, what I like is their extensive set of leaflets about their pastoral procedures in racks in their spacious foyer, which one can sample if one prefers to take in information that way and not be nervous of it being diluted or distorted by some busybody (or a person worse at talking than I am): it shows they are confident enough to be frank and be held to it - unless of course those were printed two pastors ago before they moved all the goalposts!

In any case I'm sure it was good etiquette in my younger day to let people come and go discreetly. It's not an offence to be nervous and they shouldn't pick you up on it.

 

[RileyG]

Perhaps contact the pastor privately before joining?

 

[lismore]

The problem is, I have pretty bad anxiety. It's mostly generalized anxiety, but social anxiety is the main problem. The thought of showing up at a new church out of the blue is daunting to me. I know that most churches are welcoming of newcomers, but I still can't shake the anxiety.

Hello! I have anxiety too so I understand. In 2009 I moved from an AOG church (which was small) to a Baptist Church (big). Which was tough at first. Once or twice I walked down towards the church, but didn't feel up to going in. Perseverance and prayer were key. Once I had been there regularly for a while, got to know some folks, it felt like home. Hope all goes well for you. God Bless You