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Junia

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Oh and I wish people knew that shy doesn't mean meek or timid in every way. I have strong opinions and I do share them...I am not a pushover. I am just uncomfortable in my skin and around others

also wish churches would stop the guilt.over those of us who find evangelism hard...I don't evangelize in the conventional way, going up to strangers with the gospel instead I share Jesus through my art work...
 
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Rachel20

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How can Christians support socially awkward brethren? For those struggling with social awkwardness, what do you wish others understood about your behavior?

Hello Bella, I was cured by the Lord of social anxiety. His exact words projected into my heart: "I will strengthen you and I will strengthen you again". Still trying to figure out that last part, but I can say that when I had the affliction, the thing I wanted others to understand the most was not to take my aloofness personally, because it wasn't anything they were doing wrong, it was my affliction :)
 
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bèlla

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Hello Bella, I was cured by the Lord of social anxiety. His exact words projected into my heart: "I will strengthen you and I will strengthen you again". Still trying to figure out that last part, but I can say that when I had the affliction, the thing I wanted others to understand the most was not to take my aloofness personally, because it wasn't anything they were doing wrong, it was my affliction :)

Praise the Lord Rachel! What a wonderful testimony. :clap:

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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Rachel20

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Just to add, for others who may be asking why the Lord hasn't healed them. I suffered with mine for more than 40 years. I made major life decisions around it - career, marital, etc... The Lord only healed me when major responsibilities were about to be placed on me and I absolutely needed it. I could ask why he didn't heal me sooner, my life certainly would have been easier and less demeaning, and I definitely prayed for it all those years. But I think at some level I understood there was a purpose, and I just needed to trust him.
 
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bèlla

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Just to add, for others who may be asking why the Lord hasn't healed them. I suffered with mine for more than 40 years. I made major life decisions around it - career, marital, etc... The Lord only healed me when major responsibilities were about to be placed on me and I absolutely needed it. I could ask why he didn't heal me sooner, my life certainly would have been easier and less demeaning, and I definitely prayed for it all those years. But I think at some level I understood there was a purpose, and I just needed to trust him.

Thank you for sharing Rachel. I was going to ask you to do so. :)

It was a few years before the Lord removed my Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia too. I'm happy to hear you trusted Him and made the most of your circumstances. It isn't easy.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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Hawthorne

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A recent post inspired this thread. I would like to broach the subject lovingly. :)

Socially awkward people feel out of sync with those around them. The consequences of social awkwardness include:
  • Rejection
  • Unkind remarks
  • Self-doubt (wondering if you've done something wrong)
  • Difficulty making friends and dating
  • Frequent difficulties in social situations
On the other hand, socially awkward people often:
  • See things differently
  • Tend to 'nerd out' about the things they love
  • Are obsessed with understanding how things work
  • Discover genetic inheritance (50% boys and 38% girls)
Questions

How can Christians support socially awkward brethren? For those struggling with social awkwardness, what do you wish others understood about your behavior?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
I don't think social awkwardness is necessarily a bad thing, but it can be crippling to a varying extent depending on other dynamics. Most of us do very well in small groups, people we know and trust, people who have shown themselves to be safe.


Interesting this thread should show up, since this is the second week in a row I've had to excuse myself before Sunday School because there were far too many people speaking at the same time and talking over each other that made it feel like I was thrust into a war zone with bombs going off and bullets flying every which way. This particular anecdote has more to the fact that I am a Highly Sensitive Person, (HSPs are a different topic but they do share some symptoms with social awkwardness or anxiety), but the topic of social anxiety came up last week during Sunday School, and perplexed several people who had never heard of such a thing, and were having trouble wrapping their heads around it(!!).

Consideration for highly sensitive people or the socially awkward or anxious could be toning down the exuberance a notch or asking our opinion, thoughts, or advice on a matter, but gently and respectful of boundaries, ready to give grace if it is taken as a liberty. Thankfully in the last year or two, our church installed a wireless speaker in the back room to which mothers can whisk fussy children and I can sit and listen to the service in a stress-free environment.

Rather than viewing social awkwardness as a sort of disease requiring healing or a sin to be forsaken, perhaps examining each person to ascertain their unique strengths, and strategising on how these can be used in the Kingdom, would be a better option. Developing community with a group of a few safe people is also important.
 
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public hermit

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Great thread. I almost always feel socially awkward. Even if it doesn't show, chances are I'm already ready to leave the room. ^_^ I don't know why, because I'm not afraid. The only time I don't feel that way is around those I know. It must be the unknown that makes me feel awkward. In strange situations I don't know the bodily and facial cues or the turns of phrase that ttell me what the other person is thinking/hearing, perhaps. I don't know.
 
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bèlla

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Great thread. I almost always feel socially awkward. Even if it doesn't show, chances are I'm already ready to leave the room. ^_^

Nice try! You couldn't possibly think you'd get away with that. I know better! :p

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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Anthony2019

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I think that, to a certain extent, social awkwardness affects us all.

If I'm in a lift with a group of people and one of them has broken wind, I can't wait to get far away from them as soon as possible. And if that person is me, then I have incredible difficulty maintaining eye contact.
 
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Rachel20

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Even if it doesn't show, chances are I'm already ready to leave the room. I don't know why, because I'm not afraid.

I was always ready to leave the room before I even entered it. But I think, unlike you, I would have called mine fear. It was strange when it was gone, I remembered thinking it felt like not caring. But as time went on, I realized I still cared, I just wasn't afraid anymore. I'm still behind with certain skills, like articulation - not much practice over the years. Same with filtering, so I tend to say what I think, even on the job (good thing I'm at this end of my career)
 
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lismore

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Communication is a two-way street.

Yes. There is another extreme as well, where some people are socially domineering, dominating conversations and social interactions, almost to the point of choking others out. Perhaps there's a need to help those on this other end of the scale to simmer down a bit and give others space to bloom. God Bless :)
 
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public hermit

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Nice try! You couldn't possibly think you'd get away with that. I know better! :p

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Well, that was awkward. ^_^
 
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In BC days I used to be very weird and socially awkward. My inspirations were people like Howard Stern and other people like him so go figure.
Also, even to this day, if I go without medication, mental illness rears its head and I'll say some things that are off the wall.
 
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sunshineforJesus

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I’m amazed. I remember when the Lord gave you a word for me. You have a generous heart. That’s what I see. :)

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

I dont remember giving you a word but that is awesome.Thanks so much for the compliment.
 
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bèlla

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I dont remember giving you a word but that is awesome.Thanks so much for the compliment.

You shared a quote by Dinah Maria Craik on a thread of mine. It was posted at the exact moment I needed to hear it. I'd never heard it before and knew it was meant for my ears. :)

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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Well Mr. Awkward... we have a lot of laughs. You understand me. Maybe something is amiss! *lol

*snugs

~Bella

Lol, maybe it's just a case of my brain overthinking things? That could make one socially awkward at times. And also a good conversationalist in others.
 
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bèlla

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Lol, maybe it's just a case of my brain overthinking things? That could make one socially awkward at times. And also a good conversationalist in others.

Maybe it depends on the circumstances? You don't feel scrutinized and are more relaxed when we converse. You can be yourself. But if acceptance is lacking it might make you more self-conscious. :)

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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Maybe it depends on the circumstances? You don't feel scrutinized and are more relaxed when we converse. You can be yourself. But if acceptance is lacking it might make you more self-conscious. :)

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Yeah, and also depends how many people I am around. The more people the worse I tend to feel.
 
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