So You Know Those Moral Lesson Stories?

[Vendetta]

The ones that are often posted by facebook slacktivists. They tend to feature notable people, like Einstein proving that God exists. This may not go over well here, but I think I've found the greatest parody of parodies.

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders

 

[catholicbybirth]

The ones that are often posted by facebook slacktivists. They tend to feature notable people, like Einstein proving that God exists. This may not go over well here, but I think I've found the greatest parody of parodies.

LOL. Where did you get that?

Janice

 

[Chany]

That. Was. Amazing.

 

[Vendetta]

LOL. Where did you get that?

Janice

The text you quoted or the big story?

 

[catholicbybirth]

The text you quoted or the big story?

the story.

 

[Vendetta]

the story.

I see a lot of stuff on the internet. This one is off tumblr, but I don't know where it was originally posted.

 

[MikeK]

Flippin' awesome.

 

[Vendetta]

The entire thing is great. I lose it every time when God shows up and enacts a flat tax, when it transitions from him being fired to immediately dying of AIDS and being cast into the lake of fire, and the "Semper Fi p.s. Close the borders" send off. I've read it more than a dozen times.

 

[Genersis]

Seen it before actually.
I could of sworn it was here.
Yikes, bad memory....

Oh! Right, it was in the American Politics section.Was posted a week or so after I joined more or less. In reply to a far-right conservative either trolling or just being more than a little fringe nutcase-y.
I can't be arsed to go looking for it though(Not to mention that would be a bit pointless).

 

[Vendetta]

Seen it before actually.
I could of sworn it was here.
Yikes, bad memory....

Oh! Right, it was in the American Politics section.Was posted a week or so after I joined more or less. In reply to a far-right conservative either trolling or just being more than a little fringe nutcase-y.
I can't be arsed to go looking for it though(Not to mention that would be a bit pointless).

You know I actually started off in the politics section back before I was Catholic. As you can see by my registration date, it was a fun time. But I can't go back there now. Makes my blood boil to watch the partisanship. The Neocons are the worst, I think, because they're intellectually dishonest, but the Liberals are pretty bad with their smugness (and it takes an interesting person to be liberal, atheist, and come to a Christian forum with the intent of engaging in bitter debates, no offense meant if that's you). At least here there's only a couple die-hards on either side, and I can name all of them using a hand and a half maximum.

 

[Genersis]

You know I actually started off in the politics section back before I was Catholic. As you can see by my registration date, it was a fun time. But I can't go back there now. Makes my blood boil to watch the partisanship. The Neocons are the worst, I think, because they're intellectually dishonest, but the Liberals are pretty bad with their smugness (and it takes an interesting person to be liberal, atheist, and come to a Christian forum with the intent of engaging in bitter debates, no offense meant if that's you). At least here there's only a couple die-hards on either side, and I can name all of them using a hand and a half maximum.

Yeah, I see both.

Though I must admit, while there are...currently 8(was around 4, but doubled because of election season or something) right-wing posters roughly that I can't stand; there are, or should I say have been(due to being more likely to get banned) 3 or 4 left-wing posters that, while not irritating me as much, still stick to their guns long after being proved wrong, or bring up political non-issues.

I came here for a few reasons(In order of most relevant to my decision to come here.):
1) To clear up misconceptions about gay people, atheists and liberals.
2) To learn about Christianity and how Christians interact with one-another.
3) I was sick of only talking with people who tend to agree with me, and was worried I may not being seeing the full picture because of such.