So who WANTS to be single?

[Fatolia]

This forum is starting to morph into a soundoff board about how "no one wants to date me!" I, unfortunately, have contributed to this mass movement. But why don't we start supporting each other in our quest for singleness? Let's get some things straight here:

1) Singleness means you still feel sexual and emotional things for the opposite gender.
2) You still struggle with sin and temptation like lust and obsession.
3) Singleness doesn't mean you won't ever marry, it means you aren't worrying about marrying NOW
4) Singleness means you WILL interact with members of the opposite gender, perhaps even intimately (as in intimate discussions)
5) Singleness means you will have to fight and control infatuation
6) It means that Jesus will be your lover, and that no woman/man can steal you away from him.

These are some of the things that I have experienced in purposeful singleness. I'm getting a little weary (here and especially in real life) of people seeking a spouse and this whole idea that God will provide a spouse if you will be patient...what a bunch of hogwash. God doesn't guarantee us anything like that. He tells us to get our minds off this world and onto his kingdom. How about as singles we try to figure out how in the world to do this? He guarantees us eternal life, and to me that's enough. To work together as men and women to find a way to love people and give glory to God. And let's support each other (yes, men supporting women and women supporting men) as we keep our singleness without letting our feelings get in the way. Yes, we can surmount our feelings to greater serve God. So let's do it! Who's with me?

 

[Mr Morning]

I'll join ya!

*grabs his picket sign*

*paints on it* "I don't need no woman, I got Jesus!"

Hmm, on second thought, maybe I'll skip the sign...I never had no thing for double negatives anywho...

Seriously, though. I agree. How about let's talk about something more...Biblical? Like John the Baptist's eating habits...er...well...maybe you could come up with something more relevant...

 

[Fatolia]

My big dig is about serving together with my brothers AND sisters in Christ. That's been real tough because all that infatuation garbage gets in the way. We need to break through that somehow.

 

[Mr Morning]

Yeah, it is hard. Oftentimes, when I'm getting to know a girl, my mind tends to wander more towards 'would she be someone I'd like to go out with?' even though I don't sometimes realize it til later. I'll hit myself and go 'No!' Get to know people for the purpose of building each other up, not just to get a date!"

I'm telling ya, the pressure is hard! I have plenty of friends who tell me I 'need a woman'. I mention anyone I'm interested in and they're onto me going "Well, ask her out! It won't hurt to ask!"

I just want to build up friendships right now. Is that too much to ask?

 

[Out of the Flames]

Sing it, yo....

Seriously, and no offense intended to any of the people in our wonderful little forum here, I wouldn't want to date most of the people around here because everyone seems so frustrated at never being in a relationship or having a date that they never seem to be enjoying life or having any fun and that bugs me. If you can't be content to be you no matter what the circumstances or your relational status then I'd expect more of the same from you in a dating relationship.

Or asphyxiation by smothering. And that's not good either.

Be happy. Be yourselves. Enjoy life. Seize the opportunities that present themselves to you and at some point, things are bound to start falling into place.

 

[Mr Morning]

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we're complaining about people complaining? Maybe we should just lay off the ranting about all the pressure and everything and....yeah...like you said, enjoy life


*puts on some Relient K and enjoys life by dancing around*

PEPPERONI!!!

*plays his air guitar*

 

[Fatolia]

Not complaining, just changing the pace of things.

 

[Mr Morning]

Oh...sorry...

*insert awkward silence*

Well, in that case, continue!

In that case, I hope others come and post here!

Let's remember the words of Paul in Phillipians:

12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Phillipians 4:12-13

 

[Fatolia]

You're correct, Mr Morning, but lets keep in mind what Jesus said: (no scripture ref but paraphrase) Hate the world but love the kingdom of heaven. Jesus is the answer, not a woman (man)! That's the whole point of my romcom script.

 

[Mr Morning]

Heh, yeah, you're right. Gotta focus.

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

 

[Living4Him03]

Yeah, it is hard. Oftentimes, when I'm getting to know a girl, my mind tends to wander more towards 'would she be someone I'd like to go out with?' even though I don't sometimes realize it til later. I'll hit myself and go 'No!' Get to know people for the purpose of building each other up, not just to get a date!"

I'm telling ya, the pressure is hard! I have plenty of friends who tell me I 'need a woman'. I mention anyone I'm interested in and they're onto me going "Well, ask her out! It won't hurt to ask!"

I just want to build up friendships right now. Is that too much to ask?

I agree! I try and think of building friendships, but it is hard not to start thinking about if a guy could be someone I could possibly date at some point. I think that's okay though as long as we realize that we are doing that and focus on building a friendship. It's easier said than done, that's for sure.

With many of my friends, as much as I love them, the first thing they ask me is about a guy I'm dating if I am dating someone or will ask me about potential dates. If we all go somewhere and they have dates they tend to think I will not have any fun if I don't have a date too. I try to explain wanting to build friendships and not dating someone again until we have a good friendship going, but they don't seem to understand that sometimes, although a few of my friends do thankfully!

 

[KeilCoppes]

1) Singleness means you still feel sexual and emotional things for the opposite gender.
2) You still struggle with sin and temptation like lust and obsession.
3) Singleness doesn't mean you won't ever marry, it means you aren't worrying about marrying NOW
4) Singleness means you WILL interact with members of the opposite gender, perhaps even intimately (as in intimate discussions)
5) Singleness means you will have to fight and control infatuation

All true and where I live each day. 3 and 5 are particularly appropriate. 3 is the heart of it all. I would say that God is my foundation and comfort and practical salvation, not a wife or the dream of a wife.

 

[Multi-Elis]

Finally people are talking sense!!!!

 

[songz777]

I'm getting a little weary (here and especially in real life) of people seeking a spouse and this whole idea that God will provide a spouse if you will be patient...what a bunch of hogwash.
Indeed, God does not promise a spouse, indeed there a lot of things that He doesnt promise, But God in His wisdom says "Im not going to promise you these things unless you fufil my requirements which are .First ASK, then FAith with out a doubt, Then the must be in my Will, and last of all you must Persist Luke 15:1. and not give up and faint. We should serve God to the end amen.
But Why should God provide by faith many things for people (that only were granted because of faith) and when it comes to the most blest eartjy thing we can have according to God who said "Blessed is the ..one who finds a wife / husband etc, we say "Ah we shouldnt ask for it? ummm.
The first priority of life is to fall in love with Jesus, to have ones mind filled as much as possible all the day and night when we wake. To spend hours with Him according to our abiltiy in worship and prayer. To be in love with Him in a way that we would be in love a spouse, to watch a sunset with Him to share the day Him and to take Him out on a date (i have to the beach to watch the sun set with Him).
This is real life big time, but you know I am human and at times I really hurt to share my life with "her" .. does this make one un-spirtual ..ahhhh of course not, after all where there is no desire for something, no pain, well why should God grant us it (although He may) you see the hearts longings drive us to pray and spend time with Him. Hannah in samuel was soooooo longing for a child, God didnt promise her it until she fond FAITH through Eli's words.
Look, lets focus God and delight in Him but lets be real with God, He knows what you need or long for. Focus upon Him, even if you hurt and then allow God to work His plans out. Dont give up and throw away hope and confindece, no belittle His mighty power and yet tender care.
there may be one or two people on this site who are happy singles, but lets not forget there are many hundreds who hurt; and feel incomplete despite the word saying we are complete in Christ. Ive discovered the utter depths of joy happiness and true life in Christ 12 months ago, but I still hurt...whY? coz God wants me to keep praying, and while I do I will seek to give my whole life to Him.
Blessings to you all john

 

[Fatolia]

That's an excellent point John...Of course there can be a hurt, but we just keep running back to him. I suppose my big thing is to be steadfast in serving God and not to let these worries encumber how we can serve him now.

 

[stormgade4]

For me, I want to get married for the infusion of a second income $$$




Kidding, joking, as in, not serious.

 

[Breetai]

Am I the only one who finds it ironic that we're complaining about people complaining? Maybe we should just lay off the ranting about all the pressure and everything and....yeah...like you said, enjoy life

Haha. That's awesome!

 

[Living4Him03]

For me, I want to get married for the infusion of a second income $$$




Kidding, joking, as in, not serious.

haha

You know you weren't joking Alex!

 

[Scarred4Him]

Hello to you all. I have been in so many bad relationships. By bad I mean unequally yoked and sinful. And yes I did get dumped and I was angry and bitter until I realized that it was God's will for me to not be with those people. I am 29, and I still wonder as I get older if I am going to end up alone. But I realize I need help in serving God and knowing what he wants me to do. Does anyone else feel this way? Any support or prayers you can offer would be great!!
Thank you for listening.

 

[DeusAmante]

Hi...
I completely agree with Fatolia when he said the thing about the Lord did not necessarily create you to wed. But....I also believe that if you are seeking after Him and He puts that desire in your heart, He knows that desire and WANTS to give you that. Paul said it is better to remain single because you are able to freely do God's will....but if you cannot "control" yourself it is better to wed. That is in 2 CO, I believe. Anyway, I am being patient and waiting for the right man to come into my life. I believe the Lord will bring him into my life at just the right time...or maybe never...if that's His will. I think I am going to court--and stay in large groups of guys/girls so I do not place myself in a compromising position. Seems like the best course for me. For now though, I am praying for that man and praying the Lord grows him spiritually and keeps him pure!

Waiting Patiently,
Hannah