Ok, so very briefly... I laid out who the husband was in the first post. And no you didn't mention PE, but you mentioned ED and thought I am comparing that to my wife losing weight... no. What you and your husband do, yes, you did mention that in the two scenarios you gave. Here's the end of the sentence, "and when his work schedule hindered sexual relations." You did assume the point of the experiment when you said I'm trying to compare weight loss to ED, which is false. And I dont mind dealing with you because I am as well holding you accountable to what you did say. So hopefully that will answer all of your points.
look, I'm not gonna argue...when I asked for clarity as to what the question is, you refused to offer any, so yes, I figured out from your posts to others, that you were trying to compare two unrelated things, and here's the news flash...if you weren't, you would be in violation of the rules of the forum about changing the topic. Secondly, as to the "when his work schedule hindered sexual relations" in context is exactly what I told you previously and you refuse to accept...that is an example that testifies to you that I would do exactly what I told you I would do. It has nothing at all to do with what he, that is my husband would do, but rather it is evidence that what I told you I would do, I would do...if you can't get that through your thick head, I'm afraid we can't discuss any of this any longer, cause quite frankly that kind of misuse of someones words, really gets under my skin and I am afraid I would cross a line I personally refuse to cross. NO WHERE! I repeat, NO WHERE did I ever say anything about what my husband would or would not do, only what I would do and I evidenced the truth of what I would do by sighting real life examples...which basically boils down to, me answering the question in accordance to your rules, but you not liking the answer so your now trying to take me out of context and twist what I am saying so that you can shift some of your problems off onto me, which I will not take...have a great day, stay dry.
Now to expound upon some of the things you mentioned, so you would talk, and essentially leave it up to him. Ok. Two aspects of your situation is what I want to point out... that is your frustration and your method of painful and truthful communication. These aspects are natural and needed. What I don't agree with you on is the aspect of real or biblical love blinding us to physical desires.
well, since I don't agree that real or biblical love blind us to physical desires I'm not really sure at all what you think you disagree with me about, but that goes back to holding you accountable to what I actually did say, not your twisted version of what I said, doesn't it!!!!! What I said, is that when we change our vision from lust to love, our desires change, I said absolutely nothing about what attracts us changing, only our desires. And to repeat that clarification yet again, when you see your spouse with the eyes of love, doesn't matter if they are 1000 years old, wrinkly, fat, hunched over, you will still find them, that is that person that is the object of your love, sexy, because you are seeing them, not their flesh. You still might find the skinny, 20 year old in hot pants attractive, may even stir up feelings of desire, but your spouse, whom you love, will always turn you on, when you look through the eyes of love. And hint, the longer you live in that love, the more your desire for your spouse grows, which is good, cause that makes the temptation to have an affair lessened...oh, and one more thing, nothing in this "disagreement" which isn't a disagreement at all, cause you still aren't listening to what is being said, has anything at all to do with my claim that we (I) would talk with painfully honest and open discussion.
Nowhere in scripture does it say that because of my Godly love for my wife I will look beyond her physical, and because of her spirit, either not care, or somehow actually be attracted to her weight size.
hum...since that isn't what I said, that is a challenge, none the less, I will point out to you that scripture tells us several times over to cherish, love, treasure, etc. the wife of our youth.
Nowhere. Because part of the frustration is that when I DO look at her with love, but am just not physically attracted to her, it sucks. Love and attraction cover so many different aspects, but love does not always translate into satisfying a sexual desire... it does cover everything, in that, you for example, loved your husband even more, etc., but it didn't prevent your frustrations initially.
lots of people get confused when it comes to sexual frustration...they seem to think that sexual frustration is the end of the world, it isn't....
Response and action... my response is I am not physically attracted to chubby women, my action WILL BE to still love my wife... this does not, and will never, change the fact that chubby women do not sexually entice me. Period.
we aren't talking about chubby women, we are talking about your chubby wife...and you can find her attractive if you change your vision, your desire, your lust to love.
Now, unless God indeed changes my desires, this will be the case.
but that is just it, in Christ, our desires change from the world to Godliness...I John 2:16 For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world.
But here's the thing, that a lot of people don't understand because they lack Scriptural knowledge... she should be praying the same thing.
this discussion is about you learning to find your wife attractive, not you finding away to force your wife to conform to your will. IOW's it's about you learning to conform your will to Christ's will, not forcing your wife's will to fit your will and leaving God out of the picture completely.
Not necessarily "Lord help me lose weight," but definitely something along the lines of, "Lord, help me to submit to you and serve my husband. Give me a heart to desire to please and to fulfill all of his desires."
actually, she should want to conform to God's will, not yours, and if your will is conformed to God's will, then everyone wins.
My desire is not perverse, it is not physically or medically impossible for her to attain, morally or ethically wrong, in fact is encouraged in the light of marriage according to Scripture that I should adore and be intimately desiring of my wife physically.
no one is suggesting your desire is perverse, but then again, you aren't responding to what I actually said.
Your reactions of frustrations and sexual desires are nothing short of normal. Your response of leaving it to him to ask God to change him is spot on. You loving him still, spot on. But please note that it is your opinion that love blinds peoples flaws and included in one of those flaws is overweight...
only problem is that I never suggested, said, or even hinted, that love blinds peoples flaws, that is your imagination and twisting into something not said, but then again, that is what I warned you about.
that's just an opinion to physical attraction and doesn't apply to everyone. I am showing my wife better love now, trying to think of her only and become a server of my wife... but lo and behold... still not attracted, to neither her weight and especially her attitude toward it. But, I am leaving it to God because like you said earlier, no one can change her mind but when she's willing, God will.
but if you are not attracted to her, being your wife, you aren't really looking at her with the eyes of love, but since all you are interested in is twisting what it said into something that isn't said, I guess we are done and you are doomed to whatever your wife wants, cause you aren't interested in what you can do to change your situation.
