Single and lonely.

[DragonFox91]

Go where really I tried everywhere and I went outside my comfort zone everytime.
First Church, nope just couples
Second the park, nope just couples and women with boyfriends
Third groups, again couples and women with boyfriends.
Forth Yoga where women outrule the men again mostly married woman or women with boyfriends.

So what the heck is left that's not in my comfort zone. What a woman's prison.

yep. same here.

 

[LoveDivine]

Absolutely. It's definitely possible to get too wrapped up in trying to find a partner. Yes, we all want that person in our lives, but other people are complicated and their actions are out of our control.

So while it may be difficult, I believe that what's necessary is a shift of mindset to define success in your life in terms of things that you can control. What that success looks like will be different for everybody, but it could be things like running a marathon, learning to play an instrument, buying your own house, landing your dream job, travelling somewhere you've always wanted to go, etc. The possibilities are endless, and switching your focus to those things is going to improve your outlook on life no end.

That doesn't mean that you can't still be disappointed about not finding anyone, and I still do at times when what seemed like a promising connection doesn't work out, or it's been a long time between those connections. But putting your energy into other things means that you're not going to be wallowing in despair the whole time, which can only be a benefit.

I agree with this. I've checked most of those things off my list, haha I've done lots of things that I might not have pushed myself to do if I was already married. Not saying I'd rather be single, but if you find yourself in that position in life, you might as well make the best of it.

You can only control your own behaviour and mindset. It's how you choose to view your own life that will make the biggest difference. For sure, it's disappointing when seemingly promising connections fizzle out (I've been there too), but if you fall into the rut of always feeling sorry for yourself, you will be unnecessarily miserable. I actually think that having a sense of humor really helps. It's best to be able to laugh at the bad dates or situations you have been in, rather than develop a victim complex or throw a pity party. Everyone has something hard in life to overcome. I think it's really helpful to remember you aren't "special." Others are experiencing the same difficulties. It's a part of life.

Personally, I try to avoid being around others who are negative and feel sorry for themselves. It's a destructive mindset and it rarely is productive. It is also a hindrance in our Christian journey. The right response is to focus on all the blessings in life we already have and to have some gratitude. I think when a person is focusing on the important things in life, they start to realize just how blessed they actually are. Plus, it will be very sad one day if we look back and realize we wasted most of our lives pining over something we didn't have.

 

[DragonFox91]

It is almost Valentines Day. It makes me remember how upset I was in 7th & 8th grade when everyone got carnations except me & a couple other guys. Talk about feeling like a loser.

 

[Citanul]

 

[Phronema]

It is almost Valentines Day. It makes me remember how upset I was in 7th & 8th grade when everyone got carnations except me & a couple other guys. Talk about feeling like a loser.

Not sure if you still feel this way as an adult, but if so don't be too hard on yourself. There's a whole slew of reasons that people are single, and we're right where we need to be in life. Keep making yourself marketable, and the right one will come along in time.

 

[pen_and_poetry]

It is almost Valentines Day. It makes me remember how upset I was in 7th & 8th grade when everyone got carnations except me & a couple other guys. Talk about feeling like a loser.

Those kinds of class activities are silly and maybe not the most productive but don't let something that long ago in your past define you that way.

 

[Lost Witness]

It is almost Valentines Day. It makes me remember how upset I was in 7th & 8th grade when everyone got carnations except me & a couple other guys. Talk about feeling like a loser.

I never cared about girls in school. So i can't relate
I can say WOMEN control the dating Game.
you should stop thinking "oh she's cute"
and start asking yourself, "who's interested in me" and start looking for the signals.
You'll find yourself surprised I'm sure
Remember it's all about availability, Just KEEP the LORD as number 1

 

[DragonFox91]

Those kinds of class activities are silly and maybe not the most productive but don't let something that long ago in your past define you that way.

These weren't like the elementary school kind where you buy candy for everyone. They were buy one for who you're dating.

 

[LoveDivine]

Those kinds of class activities are silly and maybe not the most productive but don't let something that long ago in your past define you that way.

These weren't like the elementary school kind where you buy candy for everyone. They were buy one for who you're dating.

I wouldn't put much stock in what happened in middle school. It's not a very mature stage of life, lol. It has almost no bearing on your life as an adult.

 

[mojoboy31]

There's some good news, I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine's Day by switching to Single.

 

[peaceful-forest]

It is almost Valentines Day. It makes me remember how upset I was in 7th & 8th grade when everyone got carnations except me & a couple other guys. Talk about feeling like a loser.

I sympathize with you.

I remember in school how guys didn't want to date me. I wasn't popular enough, I wasn't smart enough, I was fat, I wasn't in the right group...

 

[Sketcher]

There's some good news, I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine's Day by switching to Single.

Less money to spend, less pressure for getting just the right gift and planning just the right date. That's some silver lining right there.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I think I am just going to try to enjoy life even when I socialize with people in relationships.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

They are really cutting it thin. I been out everyday this week and every woman I encounter has a husband.

You said try cooking class. Are you joking. There will be all married woman as they want to learn to cook for their husbands.

I am about to throw in the towel for love. There are other things in my life to enjoy.

 

[Phronema]

They are really cutting it thin. I been out everyday this week and every woman I encounter has a husband.

You said try cooking class. Are you joking. There will be all married woman as they want to learn to cook for their husbands.

I am about to throw in the towel for love. There are other things in my life to enjoy.

I do realize things like this can be frustrating as we can wait years for the right person to come along. It's important to remember the virtues, and in particular patience. As Christians we are to be living our lives according to God's Will, and so trust in Him that your time will come. Overall though just keep at it, and most of all enjoy yourself, and the journey you're on. The idea behind the cooking class is that it will be helpful to your goal of finding a lady for you to partake of hobbies, and be in places where you are being social that you can meet her, but we have to be patient. Remember to enjoy the activity for what it is, and take in the experience of the moment. When we least expect it the correct person will come into your life.

 

[peaceful-forest]

They are really cutting it thin. I been out everyday this week and every woman I encounter has a husband.

You said try cooking class. Are you joking. There will be all married woman as they want to learn to cook for their husbands.

I am about to throw in the towel for love. There are other things in my life to enjoy.

Have you prayed to God to find you a spouse? If you haven't, do that. God knows who is right for you and if He has someone planned for you, nothing can stop that from happening.

 

[Lost Witness]

They are really cutting it thin. I been out everyday this week and every woman I encounter has a husband.

theres nearly 9 million ppl in the City

 

[Tony Ramirez]

theres nearly 9 million ppl in the City

With the single woman not going out because I have not spotted them anywhere.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Just now in life group I meet a new woman outside. I saw that stupid ring on her left hand and you guessed it she mentioned her husband.

 

[timewerx]

I do not drive, so outside of work and Church, I do not leave the house much.

No need to drive to get around. You can either walk if places to go are within only few miles from your house or get around with bike if places are farther away.

Both may bore you at first but they'll grow on you eventually.