- Apr 17, 2022
- 56
- 62
- 55
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
As the title implies, I'm of two minds on being single these days.
On the one hand, I've been single for 7+ years now, have been pretty much celibate for the last 5 of those years, and I find myself liking it. For the first time in my nearly 53 years of living, I'm content with being single and focusing on myself and doing my own thing above all. I'm happy with the lack of tension and stress and drama in my life. What with how a lot of modern women tend to be these days, as in eager to sling false accusations of sexual assault & sexual harassment willy nilly (especially if you're not The Rock's long lost twin brother with President Trump's checking account) and also incredibly self centered? I'll just stay single and out of that kind of danger, thank you very much. I keep it light and superficial with the female employees at work because of that, as well as simply not relating to most all of them, most of the time anyway.
Of course, there's that sadly human part of me that by now is starting to yearn for Someone Special to live my simple life with. Work, home, paint, sleep works for me most of the time, but every now and again even a committed bachelor like myself who is the Nerd King of Nerdistan gets a twinge. A moment where I think to myself "Yanno, this bed is awfully big for just me, here. Someone to share it with might be nice." Then I come to my senses and remind myself that I'm better off this way.
My biggest issue appears to be that I'm nobody's type. I'm not the musclebound "alpha male" type that most women are mad about and I'm not a "soy boy" either. I'm a walking gray area. Of course I'm not perfect, who is? As mentioned, I am intensely nerdy as well, and that complicates matters more because I refuse to change my ways for anybody, unless it's Him pointing out to me that it's time for that to happen. And frankly, in brutal honesty? The new generation of nerd girls have Issues on a variety of levels and since they came up with Me Too (more on that in a minute)? I'll just be over here with my paintbrushes, thank you very much.
It was those two little words back in 2018 that were the death knell for me (and a ton of other men in America) when they were spread all over the Internet. That whole thing began with good intentions, and it has nailed some sincerely awful sorts like Harvey Weinstein and Marilyn Manson, both of whom had it coming. But then five minutes after it hit the Internet (exaggerating a little, but y'all get the point)? It transformed into a weaponized witch hunt against men in general. Then modern women wonder why men don't want to date or marry or commit anymore.
Dating is a dangerous thing for men these days, and while I'm aware that I'm making some sweeping generalizations, here? The rub is this; how the heck can I tell which is a good woman and which is an angry, entitled psycho witch who will ruin me and destroy my life and good reputation at the drop of a hat? Telling me "Oh, you just need to go to church and find a good Godly woman," doesn't cut it with me for a couple of reasons.
Along with the points mentioned above? I am not a kid person, I've never wanted children, and likely never will. I suppose this will be seen as me being irresponsible somehow, and my reply to that is "How is it irresponsible to admit outright that parenthood is not for me instead of making babies with a wife and finding that out the hard way?" This tends to be a major obstacle for me, unfortunately, and I also refuse to date single mothers because I refuse to take responsibility for someone else's kid/kids. I simply have never felt any desire to reproduce in this lifetime, to the point where I got a vasectomy ten years ago just to get that taken care of and avoid accidents happening. That and my family life was so bad, my birth mother so abusive to me and my sister both, my father so weak and ineffectual, so obsessed with following his dream of being a rock star (including rampant infidelity on his end)? I do not want to revert to how I was treated as a child in moments of stress. No kid deserves that.
Forgive me the ramble, here. I guess what I'm trying to say is...at this time in my life I do feel ready for that kind of a commitment at long last. But will I ever find someone compatible with me to forge that kind of a commitment with? It looks bleak from this end, here, and if it is my fate as per the LORD to stay single all my life, then so be it. But (and forgive me a moment of bitterness, here)...I admit that my trust in women is at an all time low. I only trust them to either ignore me, mock and humor me, look down upon me, or set me up for trouble somehow. So how can I attempt to find anybody when I am clearly Not What Women Want (including making less than $40 k/year)? Why even bother? Pardon me for venting, here--I don't normally talk about this, so I do have a lot on my mind about this subject.
On the one hand, I've been single for 7+ years now, have been pretty much celibate for the last 5 of those years, and I find myself liking it. For the first time in my nearly 53 years of living, I'm content with being single and focusing on myself and doing my own thing above all. I'm happy with the lack of tension and stress and drama in my life. What with how a lot of modern women tend to be these days, as in eager to sling false accusations of sexual assault & sexual harassment willy nilly (especially if you're not The Rock's long lost twin brother with President Trump's checking account) and also incredibly self centered? I'll just stay single and out of that kind of danger, thank you very much. I keep it light and superficial with the female employees at work because of that, as well as simply not relating to most all of them, most of the time anyway.
Of course, there's that sadly human part of me that by now is starting to yearn for Someone Special to live my simple life with. Work, home, paint, sleep works for me most of the time, but every now and again even a committed bachelor like myself who is the Nerd King of Nerdistan gets a twinge. A moment where I think to myself "Yanno, this bed is awfully big for just me, here. Someone to share it with might be nice." Then I come to my senses and remind myself that I'm better off this way.
My biggest issue appears to be that I'm nobody's type. I'm not the musclebound "alpha male" type that most women are mad about and I'm not a "soy boy" either. I'm a walking gray area. Of course I'm not perfect, who is? As mentioned, I am intensely nerdy as well, and that complicates matters more because I refuse to change my ways for anybody, unless it's Him pointing out to me that it's time for that to happen. And frankly, in brutal honesty? The new generation of nerd girls have Issues on a variety of levels and since they came up with Me Too (more on that in a minute)? I'll just be over here with my paintbrushes, thank you very much.
It was those two little words back in 2018 that were the death knell for me (and a ton of other men in America) when they were spread all over the Internet. That whole thing began with good intentions, and it has nailed some sincerely awful sorts like Harvey Weinstein and Marilyn Manson, both of whom had it coming. But then five minutes after it hit the Internet (exaggerating a little, but y'all get the point)? It transformed into a weaponized witch hunt against men in general. Then modern women wonder why men don't want to date or marry or commit anymore.
Dating is a dangerous thing for men these days, and while I'm aware that I'm making some sweeping generalizations, here? The rub is this; how the heck can I tell which is a good woman and which is an angry, entitled psycho witch who will ruin me and destroy my life and good reputation at the drop of a hat? Telling me "Oh, you just need to go to church and find a good Godly woman," doesn't cut it with me for a couple of reasons.
Along with the points mentioned above? I am not a kid person, I've never wanted children, and likely never will. I suppose this will be seen as me being irresponsible somehow, and my reply to that is "How is it irresponsible to admit outright that parenthood is not for me instead of making babies with a wife and finding that out the hard way?" This tends to be a major obstacle for me, unfortunately, and I also refuse to date single mothers because I refuse to take responsibility for someone else's kid/kids. I simply have never felt any desire to reproduce in this lifetime, to the point where I got a vasectomy ten years ago just to get that taken care of and avoid accidents happening. That and my family life was so bad, my birth mother so abusive to me and my sister both, my father so weak and ineffectual, so obsessed with following his dream of being a rock star (including rampant infidelity on his end)? I do not want to revert to how I was treated as a child in moments of stress. No kid deserves that.
Forgive me the ramble, here. I guess what I'm trying to say is...at this time in my life I do feel ready for that kind of a commitment at long last. But will I ever find someone compatible with me to forge that kind of a commitment with? It looks bleak from this end, here, and if it is my fate as per the LORD to stay single all my life, then so be it. But (and forgive me a moment of bitterness, here)...I admit that my trust in women is at an all time low. I only trust them to either ignore me, mock and humor me, look down upon me, or set me up for trouble somehow. So how can I attempt to find anybody when I am clearly Not What Women Want (including making less than $40 k/year)? Why even bother? Pardon me for venting, here--I don't normally talk about this, so I do have a lot on my mind about this subject.
