In 2018, I was taking a bath and I was carefull not to rub my face too much, because it may count as "washing it compulsively" and that will break a possible, rushed promise to God, that was about must not wash my face as part of a compulsion.
I avoided washing my face when there was no need to, in order not to break that promise. Yesterday, I remembered that in 2018, there was a period that I was washing my face as part of a compulsion, for many days. I never got worried for a promise when doing it. Probably, because the rushed promise was made AFTER that events.
Ocd makes an hypothetical scenario and takes related events PRIOR to that events (me washing my face) and says that I made the promise on 2017 and that I forgot it. I broke the promise on the period that I used to wash my face for many days ( because i forgot it) and then, I remembered it randomly, almost one year later after making it, (on 2018 while showering) and started keeping it.
It does not make sense! why would I forget a promise for almost, one year and then, randomly, remember it? Probably, because the rushed promise was made AFTER that period of me washing my face. For some reason, my ocd insists that there is a chance that the promise was made BEFORE that period, just because I have some similar events in my memory.
Even so, before or after, it does not matter. Is this promise valid? I cant remember if it was made 100% with my will or not. I cant remember if it was rushed or not. I cant even remember the words. The only thing I remember is me being on the shower in 2018 and be like "I should not wash my face because it may break a promise"
I cant remember if I ever prayed for a promise. I remember some other ocd promises, and I remember them, vividly! I cant remember anything about washing my face. Just, a random thought that I should not wash it because of a promise.
When this promise was made? was it made before or after the specific period of me washing my face compulsively? Was it intrusive thoughts or a rushed promise? Was it a rushed promise or a promise made after thinking a lot about it? Did I prayed a normal prayer or it was just a rushed, thought-prayer because of my ocd? Was I anxious and could not control myself or I was calm and made the promise with 100% full intention? Why i cant remember it?
I avoided washing my face when there was no need to, in order not to break that promise. Yesterday, I remembered that in 2018, there was a period that I was washing my face as part of a compulsion, for many days. I never got worried for a promise when doing it. Probably, because the rushed promise was made AFTER that events.
Ocd makes an hypothetical scenario and takes related events PRIOR to that events (me washing my face) and says that I made the promise on 2017 and that I forgot it. I broke the promise on the period that I used to wash my face for many days ( because i forgot it) and then, I remembered it randomly, almost one year later after making it, (on 2018 while showering) and started keeping it.
It does not make sense! why would I forget a promise for almost, one year and then, randomly, remember it? Probably, because the rushed promise was made AFTER that period of me washing my face. For some reason, my ocd insists that there is a chance that the promise was made BEFORE that period, just because I have some similar events in my memory.
Even so, before or after, it does not matter. Is this promise valid? I cant remember if it was made 100% with my will or not. I cant remember if it was rushed or not. I cant even remember the words. The only thing I remember is me being on the shower in 2018 and be like "I should not wash my face because it may break a promise"
I cant remember if I ever prayed for a promise. I remember some other ocd promises, and I remember them, vividly! I cant remember anything about washing my face. Just, a random thought that I should not wash it because of a promise.
When this promise was made? was it made before or after the specific period of me washing my face compulsively? Was it intrusive thoughts or a rushed promise? Was it a rushed promise or a promise made after thinking a lot about it? Did I prayed a normal prayer or it was just a rushed, thought-prayer because of my ocd? Was I anxious and could not control myself or I was calm and made the promise with 100% full intention? Why i cant remember it?
