Should I wait till marriage?

[Zoii]

Provided she or her parents could demonstrate her virginity, which, if she'd engaged in an illicit relationship, she wouldn't have been able to.

whoa how draconian and patriarchal!

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Wow!!!!!! your advice is to marry young? - not because of any reason other than there's less chance she could have had sex. What sort of twisted reasoning is that to encourage marrying young, while they are less experienced, less likely to know each other well, less likely to be established in their respective careers..... How about recommending they get married when they truly know each other well, and have determined they want to live a life together. How about making sure that she and he have good educations.

And truly - what are you advising? - Dont marry any girl that's had sex? What sort of shallow advice is that??

This is an advice thread, not a discussion thread. It's also for Christian advice, not heathen advice. If you want to discuss, I suggest you create another thread.

So what are you saying - a girl is not worth knowing if she has had sex before?

Your preferences are up to you. As stated, this is the Christian advice forum. If you want to discuss, or offer worldly advice, I suggest you create another thread.

whoa how draconian and patriarchal!

I'm pleased you think so, but as stated, if you want to discuss, or offer worldly advice, I suggest you create another thread.

 

[Zoii]

This is an advice thread, not a discussion thread. It's also for Christian advice, not heathen advice. If you want to discuss, I suggest you create another thread.

Your preferences are up to you. As stated, this is the Christian advice forum. If you want to discuss, or offer worldly advice, I suggest you create another thread.

I'm pleased you think so, but as stated, if you want to discuss, or offer worldly advice, I suggest you create another thread.

I challenge your advice - thats the point. Your advice, despite what you espouse, is not the repository of God's knowledge.

Thus there are other Christian views - mine for a start

To the OP - I would suggest that whats truly critical is your prospective partner's intelligence, charisma, personality etc...thats in sync with your own and will allow a successful harmonious relationship. I'm just a little concerned that the basis for a decision of your partner is based solely on sex/virginity.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

not sure what this article has to do with obeying what the LORD has told you regarding this matter.

….and christianmingle is trash. no surprise at all that the site is crawling with fornicators.

 

[RDKirk]

not sure what this article has to do with obeying what the LORD has told you regarding this matter.

….and christianmingle is trash. no surprise at all that the site is crawling with fornicators.

My son and daughter-in-law were both virgins when they met on Christian Mingle.

Don't think that even being in church is a bastion against fornication. Youth were using church meetings for sexual hookups when I was a teen in the 60s, and my daughter reported it was even more true in the 90s (teens were getting a lot more sex 90s than teens were getting in the 60s).

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

My son and daughter-in-law were both virgins when they met on Christian Mingle.

exceptions happen,

we live in a country where there is rampant sexual immorality and a country that was built on racism where most people claim to be believers.

it is what it is.

 

[salt-n-light]

So I stumbled on an article online about the statistics on young Christians waiting till marriage I was hoping to find someone that has upheld gods word and well let’s just say my hope is pretty much gone.

http://www.exministries.com/christi...tians-singles-are-willing-to-have-casual-sex/

Why is your Hope gone? Is it because you’re resting it in man or in God?

Even if the odds were that more Christians waited til marriage, it would be useless if their hearts are not in the right place. Put hope in God that He is just.

 

[RDKirk]

exceptions happen,

we live in a country where there is rampant sexual immorality and a country that was built on racism where most people claim to be believers.

it is what it is.

Those are going to be truths in every way that Americans can meet. So?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Those are going to be truths in every way that Americans can meet. So?

so I wouldn't suggest a believer to go to Christianmingle to find a spouse as much as i'd tell them to go to a bar to find a spouse...

..because you don't make rules from exceptions.

 

[RDKirk]

so I wouldn't suggest a believer to go to Christianmingle to find a spouse as much as i'd tell them to go to a bar to find a spouse...

..because you don't make rules from exceptions.

So what is your suggestion?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

So what is your suggestion?

meet someone in a church where people are held accountable. if the church you're going to is using bible study for sexual hookups that's not going to be a place where people are held accountable.

I've seen several marriages done for believers through online websites, but there was lots of accountability and involvement by the parents, elders, and church members of both parties in confirming who these people said they were.

 

[RDKirk]

meet someone in a church where people are held accountable. if the church you're going to is using bible study for sexual hookups that's not going to be a place where people are held accountable.

I've been to a lot of churches from here to the other side of the planet and back againI haven't seen one that can prevent "hookups" without becoming a cult that permits relationships only within a tiny pool.

I've seen several marriages done for believers through online websites, but there was lots of accountability and involvement by the parents, elders, and church members of both parties in confirming who these people said they were.

I think that's a great idea, and it's imminently practicable through ChristianMingle if people choose to use it that way. In fact, more churches ought to get in on that tip. That's the way my daughter used it--she brought the two sets of parents together before she and the man she ultimately married even had a date.

Probably the first and best thing congregations can teach young people is that marriage is not simply a matter between two people, but is a family matter and even a community matter. The way marriage is viewed now by Christians in America is through the same "cult of individuality" goggles through which Americans see everything. The Body of Christ must teach that we're all members of the same Body and are all interconnected.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I've been to a lot of churches from here to the other side of the planet and back againI haven't seen one that can prevent "hookups" without becoming a cult that permits relationships only within a tiny pool.

well...if you're looking for a godly spouse that lives by the scriptures you only have a tiny pool to fish in unfortunately.

narrow is the gate..

Probably the first and best thing congregations can teach young people is that marriage is not simply a matter between two people, but is a family matter and even a community matter. The way marriage is viewed now by Christians in America is through the same "cult of individuality" goggles through which Americans see everything. The Body of Christ must teach that we're all members of the same Body and are all interconnected.

yes, accountability is important.

 

[Brightmoon]

whoa how draconian and patriarchal!

you forgot misogynistic

 

[DamianWarS]

It might seem kind of strange for your prospective date that you require her to undertake one of these prior to dating you, but better safe than sorry, huh? I'm sure it will be something you can both look back at and laugh at in years to come.

I'm glad Christ isn't so picky

 

[royal priest]

So I stumbled on an article online about the statistics on young Christians waiting till marriage I was hoping to find someone that has upheld gods word and well let’s just say my hope is pretty much gone.

http://www.exministries.com/christi...tians-singles-are-willing-to-have-casual-sex/

I know several Christian couples that waited until marriage. My wife and I included.

 

[DamianWarS]

I know several Christian couples that waited until marriage. My wife and I included.

how old were you when you married?

 

[RDKirk]

well...if you're looking for a godly spouse that lives by the scriptures you only have a tiny pool to fish in unfortunately.

narrow is the gate.

In one church--even a megachurch--the pool is small. But there are Christians all over the country and even the world, and the means exists to find them.

 

[RDKirk]

how old were you when you married?

My daughter and her husband had waited. She was 30 and he was 34 when they found each other and married.

 

[blackribbon]

Are concerned about other sins against God? This isn't a sin against you. This is between her and God. If God has forgiven her, who are you to not forgive and to hold it over her head. Believing that you are "better" or "more holy" because you are a virgin is a sign of self pride. There are other sins that will affect your marriage more...like the sin of gossip (very acceptable by the church), and self-pride, and not having a heart for Jesus and want to serve Him. God allows and even encourages widows to remarry so entering into marriage with your virginity intact isn't a godly requirement. Virginity is more a pact between a person and God to demonstrate self control as a sign of respect for marriage and God. Losing ones virginity doesn't mean the person is ruined and unable to be a godly wife (or husband) one day.

Don't forget that even lusting after a woman is considered a sin that very few men can say they have never committed. I'd be more concerned with the current state of the heart and mind of my potential spouse. The sexual organs are not limited use parts of the body. Consider Mary had given birth to a baby before Joseph was allowed to consummate their marriage.