Well I have a weird story, I thought I'd start here. It's TL;DR but it's cathartic for me.
A little about me, where do I even begin? As young as I can remember, like 3 or so, I occasionally felt extremely eerie evil spiritual presences around me. I had some of the most terrifying nightmares as a kid you could imagine. A few dreams I might be in my house, it would be night, I would go into a room, and the lights would go off, none of the light switches would work, I would try to go out of the room but there was an invisible force field that wouldn't let me escape, my attention would be directed to an open window. I might see a horrifying tree staring into my soul, or I might look out the window and see the sign of the Twilight Zone in the night sky, or some other horrifying thing.
I kind of figured that my house where I grew up was haunted or something, when I moved to Texas it all went away, for a while anyway. When I turned about 33, it all started coming back, I'll get into that in a bit. Anyways, I grew up in the church from the beginning, and was baptized in 1990 right before I moved to Texas.
Back to the school thing though, they told me I was one of the smart kids from the beginning, I still don't really believe that. They put me in gifted programs in 2nd grade, 5th grade, I took my SATs in 7th grade (but I played Metroid and Super Pitfall the night before and didn't do well), and then in 9th grade, where I started learning Computer Programming at 13 at a gifted program at Texas Tech.
Those gifted program experiences were horrifying, not like the dreams I had, just horrifying in the sense that I was routinely outcasted for no apparent reason. Even in regular school I was an akward kid, behind closed doors I was friends with the jocks, the nerds, and the cheerleaders, but out in front of everyone I was hated. Routinely during school kids would try to pick fights with me, and I held up my own, but I always hated fighting, I just wanted to make friends. Eventually being outcasted throughout most of college, even though my brother convinced me to be part of a fraternity at one point, I struggled through and got a degree in computers. I worked as an analyst in some top banks for a while, then went into programming as a contractor and I've done that now for about a decade.
By that point I'd almost been married twice, I'm in my late 30s now and have never been married. Both of those girlfriends left me when we were about to get engaged, I'd just get horribly mistreated at work and then lose a job.
Leading up to late 2012, I had been in some accidents where I would have almost died if there hadn't been some kind of force in control. One time I hydroplaned into a median coming from school when it had just started raining and the highway was slick (just grass on the median no guard rails, but thankfully I didn't go over to the opposite side of the highway). One time a large pole was out in the highway and I dodged it but it made me spin out several times at 60mph and I almost hit a car but thankfully didn't, I ended up again in a grass median, the engine flood but I cranked it back up and went on my way. Another time I was hit by a girl who t-boned me down a major road, I was unconscious for a second but not damaged, her airbag didn't deploy and she was all cut up so I went over there and checked on her and got the cops to the scene as soon as I could. I also had plenty of times where my checking account was almost completely depleted and I'd be scared about being able to pay rent and eat, but then as soon as I was at the edge of disaster a new job contract would come. I haven't even gotten into betrayals from close personal friends, there's a lot I could cover there, but to keep this shorter I'll just say whenever I'd get close friends or girlfriends no matter how nice I try to be eventually they'd just get nasty and hateful towards me for no real reason. When I was 16 I got into smoking from someone I was friends with at church, who sexually assaulted me when I was 20. That may sound like a big deal but I ran into the guy at the Mens' Conference at my church late last year and he said he was trying to straighten his life out after he'd been to jail several times for drug abuse and burglary, so I forgave him and I don't even really care about it now, I have much bigger things going on in my life that I'm writing about.
There's always been something kind of there in the background guiding me, but as you can see, I've also been through a lot of crazy things. Still I kept pressing on, I figure there has to be something good at the end of the journey.
Then in late 2012, then the horror started back up as an adult. I was sitting in my office, working on some C# code, I remember wishing that I would meet my dream girl, then later that day I was watching a video on youtube about imagining the tenth dimension. Suddenly something weird started happening, this massive up/down kind of state. I completely lost my sense of direction when I went out for dinner that night, it felt like I was having some kind of stroke. Then my parents got extremely angry with me, and we got into a huge argument. We didn't get physical but things got very heated, I left and was walking down the street and next thing I know cops are coming up that my parents called and I'm being hauled off to a mental hospital. The doctor listened for two minutes to a few symptomatic behaviors, and then said I think you're bipolar. This was the first time I had ever heard of the word bipolar. During this time in the hospital, I remember what I can only describe as my heart "becoming hardened", I briefly became an atheist and believed the Bible was a lie, I was corrected later by the spirit (I'll get into that later), but the experience was what I can only describe to you as desparately hopeless, I no longer felt like a human with a soul but an animal being hunted by anyone and everyone around me, while I was trying to find safety wherever I could.
Then I was led by this undescrible force that's always leading me to some scriptures that helped answer some matters that didn't make sense to me at the time. My faith came back, and I kept going. They gave me Seroquel at the hospital to try, I had actual horrible nightmares of hellish encounters. One time I was in my room in the dream and the door cracked open and a snake started coming through, I woke up screaming in the exact same position looking at the same door as if I hadn't actually gone to sleep. I had a dream of a dark grey cloud-like "hellhound" with a sort of static electricity coming from it that rushed in through the door and attacked me in bed, I woke up again screaming in the same room looking at the same door as if I hadn't been dreaming. I had another of a big horrible dark world with rusted metal structures all around, like something out of Silent Hill. A giant wasp about 3-4ft tall with a face came after me, and I hit it with a bat. These dreams seemed so real I could actually feel physical pain, it was more real than real, like being in a whole other reality. These were just dreams though, eventually I'll get into what's been happening in my real life.
The mother of all dreams though came shortly after in December, I was in a room with wooden rafters in the ceiling, wearing my favorite (at the time) yellow Nautica shirt. I look to the right and there's one of those doors that's split between the top and bottom like you would see in an elementary school. A large bald demon man came up to the door with 2 giant pythons for arms coming at me. Then I looked up just in time to see a snake drop from a rafter in the ceiling into the back of my shirt, and I actually FELT it in the dream. I was screaming horribly and then I woke up.
That room with the rafters turned out to look very similar to my ex-girlfriend's room, who I would meet a month later in January. I also gave her that yellow Nautica shirt when we were dating. So then I met my ex-girlfriend, the woman of my dreams. She literally messaged me out of the blue on Facebook and we started talking, at the time we were both involved in the MBTI forums on Facebook, not that I buy into the MBTI stuff these days. She lived four hours away, we talked for a month on the phone then met up, and the rest is history. I dated several women before her, but she was the one that took the cake. Weirdly enough, she actually looked like a female version of me, and we just felt compatible in every way. About month three into the relationship though things took a big downturn, we had rushed into things way early, the long distance was a problem, she had been previously married and her husband was doing everything to make sure she couldn't move more than 100mi away from him, he had also battered her, and she had a lot of trust issues, as did I. When I told her about having been sexually assaulted that really made her feel insecure about our relationship, even though I was deeply in love with her (and admittedly being honest with myself, still am today). Things got heated around July 4th, 2013 when she was up here along with my parents, anytime they were all together in one place it seemed to cause a lot of problems. We got in a huge argument the next day, I stormed out and went to a hotel when she was disrespecting me mocking me in a gay voice, I called her from the hotel later, and she broke up with me. Eventually the doctors took me off the Seroquel because it got me incredibly sick, and didn't do anything except make matters worse!
Sorry if I've lost you so far, we're getting to the spiritual stuff.
So then I went through a big post breakup series of self-improvement, got in shape, got my bench press up to 225lb, started volunteering, my parents moved into a bigger house that's close to half a million, they worked pretty hard for it. Volunteering is absolutely wonderful, if you're not doing it please consider doing so if you're able. I started working on making a video game to make some money and help everyone I knew out, in the middle of it my father started getting angry at me every day, and eventually kicked me out homeless. Weirdly I predicted this was going to happen months before it did so I started preparing for it, but later I ended up coming back home.
This was actually one of the best experiences of my life at the time. I learned that I could live with less and still be happy. I took a chance on my faith, and gave away a majority of my possessions. I don't like to talk about that because Matthew 6 says you should give alms in secret, so I don't like to be recognized for that, but I'm telling a story here that will hopefully help you get out there doing good works for the Lord. While I was in a little apartment in a ghetto area of town I actually built up the same things twice over, giving away laptops, desktops, furniture, food, all kinds of things. It really is true that it's better to give than to receive. Then in early 2015 around March I won an AT&T Hackathon contest for computer programming, I ended up also giving that prize away.
Months later around July my ex-g/f and I started talking again, we were actually talking about getting back together. I knew I had to be a gentleman this time and take it slow, and that was just fine with me, I really missed her companionship. As we were talking she had gone after me to a new boyfriend, who she said was just a friend at first, then he lied to her, but she had to stay there because she left her mom's house, and something about sleeping in a hot attic and this guy had made a coffin. Sounded really strange, I started worrying, then she dropped contact all of a sudden again.
Then on July 20, 2015, that's the day I made contact.
Not with her though, something else, a spirit.
I was in an IHOP getting a vegetarian omelette, a decaf coffee, and a cigarette (I'm really about that plain and simple, keep in mind I'm a programmer). I was messaging her and all of a sudden I felt that spiritual presence again from childhood, but this time it was much more so!
I felt my brain slow down and my thumbs being taken over. It started making me type out, "This is a message from the "white house", the narcissists in Washington DC, Manhattan, and Hollywood are going to burn in hell if they don't get right with God." Most of the conversation I had with this spirit was somewhat redundant, some of it comedic, it tried to present itself like I had just met God. Then it wrote, "at the moment of precipice an evolution occurs." It was a reference to the film "The Day the Earth Stood Still", my phone was about to die.
Then when my iPhone4s battery was at 1% the charge indicator lit up, right there in the middle of an IHOP, afaik that technology does not exist, not on the consumer market anyway.
It then directed me about half an hour when I didn't know the way with a GPS. When I felt a pull on the right side of my brain it meant get in the right lane, and when I felt a pull on the left side go left. This whole time it's taking over my speech sometimes but not all the time. Most of what this spirit was telling me was about all of the wickedness and narcissism that will be punished, but I got to ask one question, I thought it was an important one.
"Why are there patterns in natural that can be expressed by fractals?"
I'm paraphrasing, it came out a little dumber sounding than that. I thought that by asking this question something might be revealed about the inner workings of the universe. By this point, well, I already know there's a higher power in the universe. So it's all just a matter of figuring out how things works.
But no, my most intelligent question was in fact the dumbest, the spirit answered simply.
"Well (my first name), it's because everything is infinitely deep."
It all just kind of clicked right then. No artwork is completed, only abandoned. You can look at atoms down to the subatomic level and you can probably still go further. No matter how talented you are, there's usually someone up there who is either better than you or your competition. Climbed the highest mountain? Go to space now.
Excelsior, plain and simply. In that moment, I realized that I knew nothing about anything. No matter how much I think I know, things are always subject to change. This world is not only broken, it's systemically broken by design, or you can look at it as a continuing series of neverending challenges, however you prefer. It's all a matter of perspective, but perspective also only takes you so far. You can keep going infinitely in circles of thought, about any little thing really.
So it took me home, and said, "your parents won't hear the call", I tried to get them to wake up and explained what was going on, they just thought I was crazy. We kept going. Then the spirit had me do a "trust exercise" by going down a highway full of lights, going through every light. 3 trucks nearly killed me but missed me by inches. Then it had me go all the way to the airport, telling me that I would meet my ex-girlfriend there, this was the trap. So I get there, and as I'm walking past baggage claim security doors start unlocking (turning from red to green) as I'm walking, it was wild. Next thing I knew I was at the central command tower of Dallas Love Field, then the spirit left. I was arrested and put in a mental hospital for 3 days then let go. I tried to explain the situation but no one believed me. They put me on Lithium and Risperidone and sent me on my way.
Then the spirit came back, this time in a different form, no more conversations this time. It could take over the nerves in my neck and turn my head wherever it wanted to. So it took me on a tram ride through Dallas looking at everything, then sent me on a test. It sent me into a forest during the night, I came upon this dead tree that had fallen over and started walking alongside it as this spirit was pushing me further. Then a thought came to mind, the song, "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand all other ground is sinking sand", when I took the next step I was up past my feet in mud. I looked up right ahead and hidden among some branches was a 3-4ft rock. I climbed on it, climbed over the tree and got out. The spirit did this to show me that it knew events before they were going to happen. Whatever it is, it knows the fourth dimension at least.
I continued on, it sent me down towards the area where my ex-girlfriend used to live 4 hours away, but she wasn't there. It started taking over my vision, making colors sudden sharper and it's kind of hard to describe but there's this light staticy fuzz like TV static. It did this briefly, and directed me to pick up the trash at a strip mall. I was down to my last dollar this point, with about $100 in savings but I had to get to a bank and I was out of gas. As soon as I was done picking up trash at two lots with it projecting thoughts into my head like, "at least you'll do something nice here for once you brat", I looked up and across the highway was my bank. I pulled out my last bit and headed home, as I headed off it took over my vision in full while I was driving, all the way from Houston up past Centerville on I-45. Then I said, "In the name of Jesus I command you demon to leave." Then my vision went back to normal, the spirits have not gone away though in full.
I came back home and spent the next 1.3 years reading the NIV Bible in full, now I'm on KJV and Greek Interlinear NT. I got sick on the Risperidone after the 90 day trial and then they put me on Zyprexa, the Zyprexa almost killed me and my armpits still sweat every day now after that and I have hyperthyroid. These quack doctors eventually said, "you're not bipolar you just had brief reactive psychosis from intense stress." If you do any amount of research into Zyprexa deaths and horror stories as well as other atypical antipsychotics you'll see things that will blow your mind and all kinds of money being paid under the table in settlements. I basically don't trust the psych medical field at all. Right now I'm just on a mild dose of Lithium and Citalopram, and some Trazodone for sleep. I also volunteered at my church and in the community, but was under attack by the spirit each time trying to sabotage me getting anywhere on time or at all. I had a new contract for a while, then my boss decided he wasn't ready to bring a new developer on. My ex-girlfriend popped up once again, and asked for some financial help to get out of the place where she was at, she needed some brake repairs and a new computer, I ended up sending her $1400 and then she disappeared again, but she brought me to a Bible trivia forum that helped when I was first reading the Bible. The people there in the forums are monstrous though, atheists attack Christians nonstop and make multiple fake accounts, there's literally no moderation over there. Before she disappeared she was telling me about other spiritual phenomena in her life. She popped up again over there about a week ago, and "liked" a few pictures of mine. I don't think there's any pressing reason to talk to her, probably just another person the devil has used to attack me, along with the rest in line.
I've had some more encounters in the meantime with the spirit, it's an every day occurrence in my world. Sometimes this spiritual force does things as benign as turning my head involuntarily to check the mirrors, sometimes it uses my head to write messages, among some of them:
"GOD IS FEAR, GOD IS LOVE, GOD IS IN CONTROL"
"GOD LOVES YOU"
"GOD HATES YOU (my full name) FALSE PROPHET"
"HELL DIVIDES, CHRIST UNITES"
"(my childhood nickname) IS DEMON POSSESSED"
One Sunday a few weeks back it wrote, "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA" and then hours later I was watching s1e6 of FX's Legion and the character Oliver was wearing the diving suit from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
It wrote "(my first name) 1979-2018" a couple of weeks ago, then the next day wrote "8/8/2017" then the next day I got some blood test results back about hyperthyroid and high cholesterol, but my blood pressure and triglycerides and A1C are actually back in the normal range.
When I say it writes messages imagine the space in front of my face is a 2d Cartesian Coordinate plane, and so by turning my head to point to the upper left that's the upper left of the imaginary character writing plane, and lower right to lower right respectively, when it writes it's character by character, sometimes in print and sometimes in cursive, sometimes in symbols.
I told all this to the Catholic church and requested an exorcism but they told me by canon law since I'm protestant I'd have to seek my own minister, and of course they wouldn't believe me. My parents don't even believe me. I'm also a baptized Christian, so that makes me wonder about people saying it's unbiblical for a Christian to be demon possessed, maybe I'm just demon oppressed / demonized. Well the good news at least is that there's something out there beyond this world. The bad news is I don't really have a way to prove it. I guess if a spirit is revealed to you it will be for a reason. Even Job was handed over to a hellish experience ultimately for the glory of God.
I'm spending some of my time now writing a Bible App in C# (UWP/Xamarin), physically I'm exhausted from dealing with everything. I'm pretty much just waiting for the next world, I don't want to be in this horrible broken world anymore, I want to be with the Lord in heaven. Maybe by speaking out of my experiences I'll force the devil to either quit torturing me or kill me either one.
Til then, love your neighbor as thyself. Give love wherever you go, and remember that a homeless person is just as important as a millionaire. Also, it's my birthday, glad to share this with you. God is real! God is alive!
A little about me, where do I even begin? As young as I can remember, like 3 or so, I occasionally felt extremely eerie evil spiritual presences around me. I had some of the most terrifying nightmares as a kid you could imagine. A few dreams I might be in my house, it would be night, I would go into a room, and the lights would go off, none of the light switches would work, I would try to go out of the room but there was an invisible force field that wouldn't let me escape, my attention would be directed to an open window. I might see a horrifying tree staring into my soul, or I might look out the window and see the sign of the Twilight Zone in the night sky, or some other horrifying thing.
I kind of figured that my house where I grew up was haunted or something, when I moved to Texas it all went away, for a while anyway. When I turned about 33, it all started coming back, I'll get into that in a bit. Anyways, I grew up in the church from the beginning, and was baptized in 1990 right before I moved to Texas.
Back to the school thing though, they told me I was one of the smart kids from the beginning, I still don't really believe that. They put me in gifted programs in 2nd grade, 5th grade, I took my SATs in 7th grade (but I played Metroid and Super Pitfall the night before and didn't do well), and then in 9th grade, where I started learning Computer Programming at 13 at a gifted program at Texas Tech.
Those gifted program experiences were horrifying, not like the dreams I had, just horrifying in the sense that I was routinely outcasted for no apparent reason. Even in regular school I was an akward kid, behind closed doors I was friends with the jocks, the nerds, and the cheerleaders, but out in front of everyone I was hated. Routinely during school kids would try to pick fights with me, and I held up my own, but I always hated fighting, I just wanted to make friends. Eventually being outcasted throughout most of college, even though my brother convinced me to be part of a fraternity at one point, I struggled through and got a degree in computers. I worked as an analyst in some top banks for a while, then went into programming as a contractor and I've done that now for about a decade.
By that point I'd almost been married twice, I'm in my late 30s now and have never been married. Both of those girlfriends left me when we were about to get engaged, I'd just get horribly mistreated at work and then lose a job.
Leading up to late 2012, I had been in some accidents where I would have almost died if there hadn't been some kind of force in control. One time I hydroplaned into a median coming from school when it had just started raining and the highway was slick (just grass on the median no guard rails, but thankfully I didn't go over to the opposite side of the highway). One time a large pole was out in the highway and I dodged it but it made me spin out several times at 60mph and I almost hit a car but thankfully didn't, I ended up again in a grass median, the engine flood but I cranked it back up and went on my way. Another time I was hit by a girl who t-boned me down a major road, I was unconscious for a second but not damaged, her airbag didn't deploy and she was all cut up so I went over there and checked on her and got the cops to the scene as soon as I could. I also had plenty of times where my checking account was almost completely depleted and I'd be scared about being able to pay rent and eat, but then as soon as I was at the edge of disaster a new job contract would come. I haven't even gotten into betrayals from close personal friends, there's a lot I could cover there, but to keep this shorter I'll just say whenever I'd get close friends or girlfriends no matter how nice I try to be eventually they'd just get nasty and hateful towards me for no real reason. When I was 16 I got into smoking from someone I was friends with at church, who sexually assaulted me when I was 20. That may sound like a big deal but I ran into the guy at the Mens' Conference at my church late last year and he said he was trying to straighten his life out after he'd been to jail several times for drug abuse and burglary, so I forgave him and I don't even really care about it now, I have much bigger things going on in my life that I'm writing about.
There's always been something kind of there in the background guiding me, but as you can see, I've also been through a lot of crazy things. Still I kept pressing on, I figure there has to be something good at the end of the journey.
Then in late 2012, then the horror started back up as an adult. I was sitting in my office, working on some C# code, I remember wishing that I would meet my dream girl, then later that day I was watching a video on youtube about imagining the tenth dimension. Suddenly something weird started happening, this massive up/down kind of state. I completely lost my sense of direction when I went out for dinner that night, it felt like I was having some kind of stroke. Then my parents got extremely angry with me, and we got into a huge argument. We didn't get physical but things got very heated, I left and was walking down the street and next thing I know cops are coming up that my parents called and I'm being hauled off to a mental hospital. The doctor listened for two minutes to a few symptomatic behaviors, and then said I think you're bipolar. This was the first time I had ever heard of the word bipolar. During this time in the hospital, I remember what I can only describe as my heart "becoming hardened", I briefly became an atheist and believed the Bible was a lie, I was corrected later by the spirit (I'll get into that later), but the experience was what I can only describe to you as desparately hopeless, I no longer felt like a human with a soul but an animal being hunted by anyone and everyone around me, while I was trying to find safety wherever I could.
Then I was led by this undescrible force that's always leading me to some scriptures that helped answer some matters that didn't make sense to me at the time. My faith came back, and I kept going. They gave me Seroquel at the hospital to try, I had actual horrible nightmares of hellish encounters. One time I was in my room in the dream and the door cracked open and a snake started coming through, I woke up screaming in the exact same position looking at the same door as if I hadn't actually gone to sleep. I had a dream of a dark grey cloud-like "hellhound" with a sort of static electricity coming from it that rushed in through the door and attacked me in bed, I woke up again screaming in the same room looking at the same door as if I hadn't been dreaming. I had another of a big horrible dark world with rusted metal structures all around, like something out of Silent Hill. A giant wasp about 3-4ft tall with a face came after me, and I hit it with a bat. These dreams seemed so real I could actually feel physical pain, it was more real than real, like being in a whole other reality. These were just dreams though, eventually I'll get into what's been happening in my real life.
The mother of all dreams though came shortly after in December, I was in a room with wooden rafters in the ceiling, wearing my favorite (at the time) yellow Nautica shirt. I look to the right and there's one of those doors that's split between the top and bottom like you would see in an elementary school. A large bald demon man came up to the door with 2 giant pythons for arms coming at me. Then I looked up just in time to see a snake drop from a rafter in the ceiling into the back of my shirt, and I actually FELT it in the dream. I was screaming horribly and then I woke up.
That room with the rafters turned out to look very similar to my ex-girlfriend's room, who I would meet a month later in January. I also gave her that yellow Nautica shirt when we were dating. So then I met my ex-girlfriend, the woman of my dreams. She literally messaged me out of the blue on Facebook and we started talking, at the time we were both involved in the MBTI forums on Facebook, not that I buy into the MBTI stuff these days. She lived four hours away, we talked for a month on the phone then met up, and the rest is history. I dated several women before her, but she was the one that took the cake. Weirdly enough, she actually looked like a female version of me, and we just felt compatible in every way. About month three into the relationship though things took a big downturn, we had rushed into things way early, the long distance was a problem, she had been previously married and her husband was doing everything to make sure she couldn't move more than 100mi away from him, he had also battered her, and she had a lot of trust issues, as did I. When I told her about having been sexually assaulted that really made her feel insecure about our relationship, even though I was deeply in love with her (and admittedly being honest with myself, still am today). Things got heated around July 4th, 2013 when she was up here along with my parents, anytime they were all together in one place it seemed to cause a lot of problems. We got in a huge argument the next day, I stormed out and went to a hotel when she was disrespecting me mocking me in a gay voice, I called her from the hotel later, and she broke up with me. Eventually the doctors took me off the Seroquel because it got me incredibly sick, and didn't do anything except make matters worse!
Sorry if I've lost you so far, we're getting to the spiritual stuff.
So then I went through a big post breakup series of self-improvement, got in shape, got my bench press up to 225lb, started volunteering, my parents moved into a bigger house that's close to half a million, they worked pretty hard for it. Volunteering is absolutely wonderful, if you're not doing it please consider doing so if you're able. I started working on making a video game to make some money and help everyone I knew out, in the middle of it my father started getting angry at me every day, and eventually kicked me out homeless. Weirdly I predicted this was going to happen months before it did so I started preparing for it, but later I ended up coming back home.
This was actually one of the best experiences of my life at the time. I learned that I could live with less and still be happy. I took a chance on my faith, and gave away a majority of my possessions. I don't like to talk about that because Matthew 6 says you should give alms in secret, so I don't like to be recognized for that, but I'm telling a story here that will hopefully help you get out there doing good works for the Lord. While I was in a little apartment in a ghetto area of town I actually built up the same things twice over, giving away laptops, desktops, furniture, food, all kinds of things. It really is true that it's better to give than to receive. Then in early 2015 around March I won an AT&T Hackathon contest for computer programming, I ended up also giving that prize away.
Months later around July my ex-g/f and I started talking again, we were actually talking about getting back together. I knew I had to be a gentleman this time and take it slow, and that was just fine with me, I really missed her companionship. As we were talking she had gone after me to a new boyfriend, who she said was just a friend at first, then he lied to her, but she had to stay there because she left her mom's house, and something about sleeping in a hot attic and this guy had made a coffin. Sounded really strange, I started worrying, then she dropped contact all of a sudden again.
Then on July 20, 2015, that's the day I made contact.
Not with her though, something else, a spirit.
I was in an IHOP getting a vegetarian omelette, a decaf coffee, and a cigarette (I'm really about that plain and simple, keep in mind I'm a programmer). I was messaging her and all of a sudden I felt that spiritual presence again from childhood, but this time it was much more so!
I felt my brain slow down and my thumbs being taken over. It started making me type out, "This is a message from the "white house", the narcissists in Washington DC, Manhattan, and Hollywood are going to burn in hell if they don't get right with God." Most of the conversation I had with this spirit was somewhat redundant, some of it comedic, it tried to present itself like I had just met God. Then it wrote, "at the moment of precipice an evolution occurs." It was a reference to the film "The Day the Earth Stood Still", my phone was about to die.
Then when my iPhone4s battery was at 1% the charge indicator lit up, right there in the middle of an IHOP, afaik that technology does not exist, not on the consumer market anyway.
It then directed me about half an hour when I didn't know the way with a GPS. When I felt a pull on the right side of my brain it meant get in the right lane, and when I felt a pull on the left side go left. This whole time it's taking over my speech sometimes but not all the time. Most of what this spirit was telling me was about all of the wickedness and narcissism that will be punished, but I got to ask one question, I thought it was an important one.
"Why are there patterns in natural that can be expressed by fractals?"
I'm paraphrasing, it came out a little dumber sounding than that. I thought that by asking this question something might be revealed about the inner workings of the universe. By this point, well, I already know there's a higher power in the universe. So it's all just a matter of figuring out how things works.
But no, my most intelligent question was in fact the dumbest, the spirit answered simply.
"Well (my first name), it's because everything is infinitely deep."
It all just kind of clicked right then. No artwork is completed, only abandoned. You can look at atoms down to the subatomic level and you can probably still go further. No matter how talented you are, there's usually someone up there who is either better than you or your competition. Climbed the highest mountain? Go to space now.
Excelsior, plain and simply. In that moment, I realized that I knew nothing about anything. No matter how much I think I know, things are always subject to change. This world is not only broken, it's systemically broken by design, or you can look at it as a continuing series of neverending challenges, however you prefer. It's all a matter of perspective, but perspective also only takes you so far. You can keep going infinitely in circles of thought, about any little thing really.
So it took me home, and said, "your parents won't hear the call", I tried to get them to wake up and explained what was going on, they just thought I was crazy. We kept going. Then the spirit had me do a "trust exercise" by going down a highway full of lights, going through every light. 3 trucks nearly killed me but missed me by inches. Then it had me go all the way to the airport, telling me that I would meet my ex-girlfriend there, this was the trap. So I get there, and as I'm walking past baggage claim security doors start unlocking (turning from red to green) as I'm walking, it was wild. Next thing I knew I was at the central command tower of Dallas Love Field, then the spirit left. I was arrested and put in a mental hospital for 3 days then let go. I tried to explain the situation but no one believed me. They put me on Lithium and Risperidone and sent me on my way.
Then the spirit came back, this time in a different form, no more conversations this time. It could take over the nerves in my neck and turn my head wherever it wanted to. So it took me on a tram ride through Dallas looking at everything, then sent me on a test. It sent me into a forest during the night, I came upon this dead tree that had fallen over and started walking alongside it as this spirit was pushing me further. Then a thought came to mind, the song, "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand all other ground is sinking sand", when I took the next step I was up past my feet in mud. I looked up right ahead and hidden among some branches was a 3-4ft rock. I climbed on it, climbed over the tree and got out. The spirit did this to show me that it knew events before they were going to happen. Whatever it is, it knows the fourth dimension at least.
I continued on, it sent me down towards the area where my ex-girlfriend used to live 4 hours away, but she wasn't there. It started taking over my vision, making colors sudden sharper and it's kind of hard to describe but there's this light staticy fuzz like TV static. It did this briefly, and directed me to pick up the trash at a strip mall. I was down to my last dollar this point, with about $100 in savings but I had to get to a bank and I was out of gas. As soon as I was done picking up trash at two lots with it projecting thoughts into my head like, "at least you'll do something nice here for once you brat", I looked up and across the highway was my bank. I pulled out my last bit and headed home, as I headed off it took over my vision in full while I was driving, all the way from Houston up past Centerville on I-45. Then I said, "In the name of Jesus I command you demon to leave." Then my vision went back to normal, the spirits have not gone away though in full.
I came back home and spent the next 1.3 years reading the NIV Bible in full, now I'm on KJV and Greek Interlinear NT. I got sick on the Risperidone after the 90 day trial and then they put me on Zyprexa, the Zyprexa almost killed me and my armpits still sweat every day now after that and I have hyperthyroid. These quack doctors eventually said, "you're not bipolar you just had brief reactive psychosis from intense stress." If you do any amount of research into Zyprexa deaths and horror stories as well as other atypical antipsychotics you'll see things that will blow your mind and all kinds of money being paid under the table in settlements. I basically don't trust the psych medical field at all. Right now I'm just on a mild dose of Lithium and Citalopram, and some Trazodone for sleep. I also volunteered at my church and in the community, but was under attack by the spirit each time trying to sabotage me getting anywhere on time or at all. I had a new contract for a while, then my boss decided he wasn't ready to bring a new developer on. My ex-girlfriend popped up once again, and asked for some financial help to get out of the place where she was at, she needed some brake repairs and a new computer, I ended up sending her $1400 and then she disappeared again, but she brought me to a Bible trivia forum that helped when I was first reading the Bible. The people there in the forums are monstrous though, atheists attack Christians nonstop and make multiple fake accounts, there's literally no moderation over there. Before she disappeared she was telling me about other spiritual phenomena in her life. She popped up again over there about a week ago, and "liked" a few pictures of mine. I don't think there's any pressing reason to talk to her, probably just another person the devil has used to attack me, along with the rest in line.
I've had some more encounters in the meantime with the spirit, it's an every day occurrence in my world. Sometimes this spiritual force does things as benign as turning my head involuntarily to check the mirrors, sometimes it uses my head to write messages, among some of them:
"GOD IS FEAR, GOD IS LOVE, GOD IS IN CONTROL"
"GOD LOVES YOU"
"GOD HATES YOU (my full name) FALSE PROPHET"
"HELL DIVIDES, CHRIST UNITES"
"(my childhood nickname) IS DEMON POSSESSED"
One Sunday a few weeks back it wrote, "20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA" and then hours later I was watching s1e6 of FX's Legion and the character Oliver was wearing the diving suit from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
It wrote "(my first name) 1979-2018" a couple of weeks ago, then the next day wrote "8/8/2017" then the next day I got some blood test results back about hyperthyroid and high cholesterol, but my blood pressure and triglycerides and A1C are actually back in the normal range.
When I say it writes messages imagine the space in front of my face is a 2d Cartesian Coordinate plane, and so by turning my head to point to the upper left that's the upper left of the imaginary character writing plane, and lower right to lower right respectively, when it writes it's character by character, sometimes in print and sometimes in cursive, sometimes in symbols.
I told all this to the Catholic church and requested an exorcism but they told me by canon law since I'm protestant I'd have to seek my own minister, and of course they wouldn't believe me. My parents don't even believe me. I'm also a baptized Christian, so that makes me wonder about people saying it's unbiblical for a Christian to be demon possessed, maybe I'm just demon oppressed / demonized. Well the good news at least is that there's something out there beyond this world. The bad news is I don't really have a way to prove it. I guess if a spirit is revealed to you it will be for a reason. Even Job was handed over to a hellish experience ultimately for the glory of God.
I'm spending some of my time now writing a Bible App in C# (UWP/Xamarin), physically I'm exhausted from dealing with everything. I'm pretty much just waiting for the next world, I don't want to be in this horrible broken world anymore, I want to be with the Lord in heaven. Maybe by speaking out of my experiences I'll force the devil to either quit torturing me or kill me either one.
Til then, love your neighbor as thyself. Give love wherever you go, and remember that a homeless person is just as important as a millionaire. Also, it's my birthday, glad to share this with you. God is real! God is alive!
