S.a.h.m.

[marezee]

Menuet!

Jacob came into the kitchen just now....
"you cooking my dinner mommy?"
"yes Jake, I am"
"thank you mommy!"

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

aww, what a sweetie!

 

[Called2Grace]

I have only just found this thread, and I would like to join! I'm a kinda SAHM. I study fulltime and am employed on a casual basis outside the home, but I haven't worked for the last three months or so.

My DH is due to take over the business where he works, and will be doing it from home which I will be helping out with from July, then I am due to have my 2nd baby in August.
My Daughter is 4, and currently attends family daycare 2 days a week and has just started at preschool 1 day a week in addition as she starts school in January. (we won't be homeschooling)

At the moment, I only have classes on a Friday, and I am almost finished my degree, will only have one semester to go once the baby is born. I hope to go back and do that when he is 12 months old. Then we will make the decision as to if I am going to continue to SAH and help out with DH;s business or go on and do my new grad year as an RN.

I'm trying to get the house ready, getting routines set up for housework and really embracing the SAHM life. I am getting there slowly!!

 

[marezee]

welcome called2grace! We'd love you to join in!

 

[marezee]

Ugh! today was a rainy day, so no outside work was done. Our garden is getting pushed back even further!

The boys had their dentist appt today. Nick (5) had x-rays taken! yay!
that is a big deal for him. He's been terrified the last 2x we went. All three boys had great check ups...no cavities.

Tomorrow is my turn at the dentist. I wish my visit to turn out the same! LOL!

I cannot believe Memorial day weekend is coming up already. We don't have anything planned. My DH is working fri, sat & sun. maybe we'll do a BBQ on monday.
Then next friday is A Day Out With Thomas!! The boys are getting excited!

Anyone have plans for the weekend?

 

[angelsgirl]

How do you ladies with more than one child ever get anything done around the house???
I have a 2 week old... today she slept in til about 12 (I was up at 10 - getting ready for a nurse visit at home) and then she was up from 12 - 3ish... At that point i hadn't eaten lunch or had a shower or anything. I finally got her to go to sleep at about 3...
But I'm asking in all seriousness... how do you get anything done when your kids are awake?
What can I do to get more things done?
Also should I have to hold her the entire time she is awake???

Today is the first day I have been at home by myself since Maddie was born. It was a little overwhelming. I really didn't know what to do. I was used to having my husband home with me and we could share the awake time...

 

[Neenie1]

Personally I don't believe you should have to hold her while she is awake. Even at 2 weeks, they don't need to be held all the time. However if they do cry or need cuddles, then at 2 weeks IMO you need to be able to give them that.

When my 2 were small I had a bouncer/rocker thing you can put them in, and carry them from room to room, they are able to see/hear you while you are working, and they are safe as long as you follow safety rules, like don't leave it on the table, and strap them in etc.

It might take time to learn to multi task, but it will happen.

The other thing is that she is only 2 weeks old, I don't think you should really be too worried about doing a lot at this stage anyway, do you sleep when your baby sleeps and are you making sure you get a lot of rest. I think I would just do what HAS to be done, and not worry about the rest. They are only small for a short while.

 

[marezee]

first of all angelsgirl...congrats on your baby!!

I agree with Neenie! rest when your baby rests...you really do need it, even if your head says differently! I would put my baby in his car seat on the floor in the bathroom while i took a shower. Then if he was sleeping, i would rest.
do what is necessary around the house....but don't worry about EVERYTHING!! You will get into a routine soon enough.
I loved holding my baby...especially my first born! It's so comforting...especially when you are alone with her!
Take her with you around the house and talk to her while you do things...it helps her to bond to you, and it doesn't feel like you are so alone.
Talk to people on the phone, and take walks in nice weather....it helps with the baby blues.
God bless you!

 

[angelsgirl]

Thanks marezee and Neenie for your advice.
I really try and rest when Maddie is sleeping, but i find it quite hard. It's ok if she has a sleep during the middle of the day, or early arvo, but when it is like 4 or 5pm before she goes down for her nap, i find it hard to sleep!
We don't have a bouncer or a rocker thingy, my husband didn't want to get one. But i am seeing how useful they would be. Just for little things like eating and going to the toilet or showering. I think I may have to put my foot down on this one. After all I am the one who is home with her all day every day... I need to keep my sanity!!!

I do love holding her... it's just after a few hours... my arms get a little sore!!! I have tried a sling, but that only works if i am moving. She doesn't like being in it when I am sitting down!!!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

you could always use your pram instead of a rocker, park it next to you wherever you are in the house and sit her up (if your pram does that) so she can watch you. Taking walks is great, though my DD hated it and would scream the whole time! But even just some outside time is good, sitting in the backyard etc.

 

[angelsgirl]

you could always use your pram instead of a rocker, park it next to you wherever you are in the house and sit her up (if your pram does that) so she can watch you. Taking walks is great, though my DD hated it and would scream the whole time! But even just some outside time is good, sitting in the backyard etc.

I really can't wait til my caesar site has healed enough for me to go walking!!! It's not quite at that point yet. Just to get out of the house and have a change of scenery!!!

I think I'm going to get Mum to get me a bouncer thingy...(She still wants to get us another present!!!) I didn't know if I would need one, but i think it would really help. Give me a chance to actually go to the bathroom!!!!

 

[EmilyF]

I have only read a few pages but I am glad that I am not the only one who doesn't luuuurve being a SAHM. I want a job really bad. Just 12 hours a week or so. Our finances are in the toilet usually but unless I can work when my husband doesn't (NOT easy since he's a restaurant manager) we can't afford the child care for 2 kids.
My boys are fun though. I wish I knew how to have a more structured day.

 

[angelsgirl]

I've only been doing the SAHM thing for a couple of weeks. I do enjoy it most of the time. But I am really looking forward to going back to work!!! I honestly didn't think I would ever feel like this. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. Ialways intended to be SAHM... And I may end up being one permanently... I don't know. All i know is i don't want my baby/ies in child care, so while I am in a job that allows me to work weekends (my husband works M-F) and be available during the week... I don't have a problem with it!
I'm only going to be working casually/part time and only on weekends... Even if it's only a 4 hour shift once a week, I will get out of the house and be able to talk to adults!!! But i will be talking to pregnant ladies about babies and stuff for babies... I guess that is what happens when you work in a baby shop!

 

[marezee]

I have only read a few pages but I am glad that I am not the only one who doesn't luuuurve being a SAHM. I want a job really bad. Just 12 hours a week or so. Our finances are in the toilet usually but unless I can work when my husband doesn't (NOT easy since he's a restaurant manager) we can't afford the child care for 2 kids.
My boys are fun though. I wish I knew how to have a more structured day.

welcome Mopedmommeigh! that's a cute name!
I love being a SAHM, but some people think that means we just stay at home and eat bon bons all day!! SO NOT TRUE!
i just love being available for my little ones and bringing them up with good morals and attitudes on life.
As far as a structured day, there are all sorts of things you can do at home to be structured...kind of like a preschool. It depends on how old your little ones are.
We have scheduled meal times and snack times.
Then we might have arts and crafts, reading, free play, outside free play if the weather permits, my preschooler pratices his writting skills while my 2yr old colors, we have TV time as well (yes, even i need time out!), other fun things can be scheduled in like playdough, dancing to music, playing musical intruments, etc. You make it fun and your children's likes/dislikes can dictate what you do all day.
And of course, there's those times where you will need to take them to appts, the park, grandma's house, etc. And don't forget running errands for the household, and doing household chores(little ones can help with chores a bit)! the list is endless.
I think I have said enough!! Have a happy SAHM day!

 

[PrincessJo]

I hope it is ok for me to post here. I am a working mom, but long to be a SAHM! My husband and I are praying about that and working on our budget.

Could you gals give me any advice/suggestions on the things that could help to cut back costs to make this happen? I really feel God is calling me to be there for my baby (7 mos old). My husband is begining to feel the same way.

Please pray that God shows us the way and then gives us the faith to make the plunge to one income!

 

[marezee]

I hope it is ok for me to post here. I am a working mom, but long to be a SAHM! My husband and I are praying about that and working on our budget.

Could you gals give me any advice/suggestions on the things that could help to cut back costs to make this happen? I really feel God is calling me to be there for my baby (7 mos old). My husband is begining to feel the same way.

Please pray that God shows us the way and then gives us the faith to make the plunge to one income!

Hi PrincessJo! nice to meet you! I will pray for you and your family.
If it is in your heart to be a SAHM, and you feel that God is leading you that way, then start by cutting back on unnecessary expenses.
You know what they are....i cannot tell you. An example might be Starbuck's coffee or eating out too much, things like that.
Does your income pay any of the bills or go into your savings account?
Do you pay for daycare? Take all that into account when you figure your budget.
Gas and food prices are rising, also. Perhaps it is more cost-effective for you to stay home if you are spending a lot on gas and daycare.
Also, while you are still working & deciding what's best for your family, try to put any extra money away, instead of buying things you want, but do not necessarily need. KWIM? that is just a few thoughts on the matter...

Anyone else have any ideas for PrincessJo??

 

[Melbelle]

Hey moms, Its been awhile since I popped in here... I been super busy, trying to help my husband get his business taken off.. so I been learning a new program... I'm pretty impressed at how fast I'm catching on. My husband said the learning curve on this program 0-10 is about an 8, and its taken me about 6 days to learn quit a bit. Though it usely takes me a few hours to learn a new tutorial on a paint program, so its harder, but its fun... I'm excited to start helping hubby make money off it...

Memorial day, we spent in the ER, Seth was at the beach with my mom and dad that whole weekend, found out he is allergic to the sun, alone with the grass. Monday morning he woke up and his eyes were swollen shut, and told my husband he couldn't see, so we rushed him to the er, and sure enough he had an allergic reaction to the sunburn he had. His face is back to normal, just pealing.

So thats a bit about my busy catotic life....

 

[marezee]

:o oh my! Melly! poor Seth! that's awful!

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Well I'm joining the SAHM band- my last day is tomorrow. I'm not due until November but my job was killing me with stress and we all feared my baby could be harmed because of it.

I'm taking a 3.5 week vacation courtesy of mom and dad back home. When I return from vaca I'll probably look for something part time to get me through the summer. Maybe some light filing, receptionist work answering phones or whatnot. Just enough to bring in a bit to bank away for after the baby comes.

I'm really happy with our decision to have me quit my job. It's going to be incredibly tight but we are already experiencing God's blessings in this area. We are trying to have faith- it's hard, but we can do it.

 

[faithmom]

I hope it is ok for me to post here. I am a working mom, but long to be a SAHM! My husband and I are praying about that and working on our budget.

Could you gals give me any advice/suggestions on the things that could help to cut back costs to make this happen? I really feel God is calling me to be there for my baby (7 mos old). My husband is begining to feel the same way.

Please pray that God shows us the way and then gives us the faith to make the plunge to one income!

Hi PrincessJo! I'm on board with all Marezee said, and I won't bore you with all of the details of "how" I did manage to come home. I currently help DH out part time (I sometimes refer to myself as "girl Friday") from home, but only started that after 10 years of pure SAHM.

Here is my list of what made it possible:
-I only drove cars that were paid off (the first one was a late 1970's blue truck that hubby used to put up real-estate signs. Then when the 2nd child came along and we needed room for that 2nd car seat, I graduated to his used Honda Accord Sedan. He switched over to driving a truck himself. We saved and paid in full for the mini-van when the 3rd child arrived).
-We lived in a very humble cottage (vintage 1913, tiny with an attic we fondly referred to as the master bedroom and nursery), that we did all of the remodelling on ourselves. It wasn't the worste or best part of town, just old. It was inexpensive enough that we could pay it off in 3 years.
-We set a rule of only eating out once a week. If you eat most meals at home, your costs stay down. And cook as much as you can from scratch.
-We didn't go out on dates for a long time when the kids were little, we'd have "at home dates". Hubby and I agreed that either Friday or Saturday had to be a date night, and we'd eat after the kids, light candles, have some chocolate, rent a movie or watch TV etc....we still do this often. Once in a while we'd splurge, but it was only a couple of times a year. Staying in on New Years and Valentines Day is still a tradition of ours.
-We aren't afraid of used stuff or ashamed to avoid expensive lables, or buy well made items at wholesale markets. I'm a master at garage sale remodelling (refinished furniture) and finding great vintage clothing at consignment shops. I know my way around TJ Max. You should see the great jewelry I've found and repaired from thrift stores. I even have a fur stole in new condition. I think it was an old episode of Cosby, where Denise (Lisa Bonnet) pointed out to Theo that when you pay designer prices, you make yourself poor while letting someone who is already very rich just get richer over a lable. That has always somehow stuck with me.
-COUPONS! Ours come in the Sunday paper, and they actually pay for the paper and more if you use them well. Organize your coupon sorter NOT by the subject, but by the date it expires. Most items you buy with coupons are non-perishable, but their expiration date is. If you keep them in the order of the expireation date, and stock what you buy at discount, you can save a lot of money. Just be sure to grab the current month's coupons as you go out the door on the 1st of each month.
-SCHEDULE. Look at your routine, and make sure you aren't spending money by running errands to the same place more than once a week. I shop at Lowes when the kids have piano lessons and the grocery store durring their dance lessons. I base it on what is on that side of town so I am using fuel efficiently. Maybe only go out to eat after church, since you have to drive then anyway.
-Insurance. 1st Buy only the essentials to start with (health, car, homeowners, then disability, life and long term....in that order) On things like car insurance, drive carefully, and set your deductible high to lower your rate.
-Credit cards. We pay them off every month. We gain credit, but we also build air-miles & points for travel by using them and paying them off steadily.

That being said, when you do learn to live that way (if you aren't already), then maybe return to work or find your husband's income increases, if you stick to your guns even when there is more income available, you begin to have room to save for retirement, emergencies, and some fun now and then.

Live lean, mean, and focussed on what is really essential in your lives.

Just my ideas.