Hi Jenniferdiana, I have some very good news for you, the Lord loves you in spite of your sins/ sinfulness. In fact, God is in the business of saving the ungodly, IOW people just like you and me, who simply believe/trust Him to do so ... in spite of our sins
Romans 4
5 To the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness.
He loves us so much that He sent His one and only Son here to do for us what we could not do for ourselves, IOW
1. Be Innocent
2. Be Righteous
3. Die to atone for the sins we've committed because we are neither 1 nor 2.
So just "
look to Jesus", believing in Him (& in the works He's done on your behalf). Ask Him to be your Savior & the Lord of your life (knowing that He always knows what's best for you, far better than you ever could yourself), and fully trust that God will indeed choose to save you graciously (on the basis of His Son's works, His life, His death on the Cross, and His Resurrection), just like He promised us He would
Again, nothing "we" do can save us, rather, our salvation is based totally upon what the Lord Jesus did for us when He came here to
1. live among us and
2. die in our places on the Cross to atone for our sins.
The Bible teaches us that we are "
saved by grace" (UN-merited favor), which means in a nutshell that we get what we
don't deserve in this case
So confess your sins to Him (all that you can remember) and ask Him to forgive you of them ..
Romans 10:9-10; 1 John 1:9. Then ask Him to be your Savior and Lord, and trust (with all of your heart) that He will (because He promised us He would!). And ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
His salvation is specifically from sin, and from our sinful selves, and that in the "here and now" (and from His wrath at the Judgment, of course ..
Romans 5:8-9). Our salvation from Hell in the age to come is a byproduct of being saved from our sinful selves right now
). This seems perfect for you, since it is your sins and sinful self that you want to be saved from, yes!
In Christ,
David
p.s. - to act like a Christian, you have to become a Christian first, and that's something that only God can do .. e.g.
Ezekiel 36:26; John 3:3; 2 Corinthians 5:17, 21.
John 5
24 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.