Relationship gone bad making me want to rebel?

[Kazzy0614]

Little note about him and I, were both 17, neither of us have ever been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, living a Christian lifestyle. I've known this guy since the summer, and from day one we just really hit it off. We had a great time talking and laughing. Shortly after meeting and literally spending every day together, his family moved to a state that's 10 hours away. Well, we talk on the phone basically every day. Talking about serious stuff, or just joking around. We've never argued or disagreed on anything. Recently it's to the point where he frequently states his affections for me in subtle ways, telling me I'm a beautiful, virtuous woman of God, and even refers to me with openly on social media. I respond the same way to him.

So we both really want to see each other again, but it's long distance at the moment till he can afford his car. We decided that since my brother lives in his state, I'll fly down to my brothers for the holidays and then my brother will drop me off at his place for a about 4 days. I know what your thinking but let me reassure you. I will be in his room, and he will be sleeping in his parents room with them. He had it all planned out; he wanted to take me to the beach and we could waltz on the beach together (we're both ballroom dancers), kayaking, a walk through the city lights lit up for Christmas, and a bonfire with jazz music and star gazing. His plans- he came up with all of it.

Well, just like 3 weeks away from the trip, and he didn't call me yesterday which is weird and this morning out of nowhere he texts me and was like "So about you coming to my place, I don't think it'll work out." And I responded asking what's wrong and he never responded. I'm absolutely shocked. I already bought plane tickets and he knows it. I really care about him idk why he would just bail on me... Like I've never felt this way about someone before...

The rest of the day I've been quite confused and down in the dumps. I'm also having thoughts of just rebelling and dressing provocativly and just getting a man for the sake of it. It's horrible but my mind is spinning and I don't know what to do... I just don't feel good enough anymore

 

[salt-n-light]

Little note about him and I, were both 17, neither of us have ever been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, living a Christian lifestyle. I've known this guy since the summer, and from day one we just really hit it off. We had a great time talking and laughing. Shortly after meeting and literally spending every day together, his family moved to a state that's 10 hours away. Well, we talk on the phone basically every day. Talking about serious stuff, or just joking around. We've never argued or disagreed on anything. Recently it's to the point where he frequently states his affections for me in subtle ways, telling me I'm a beautiful, virtuous woman of God, and even refers to me with openly on social media. I respond the same way to him.

So we both really want to see each other again, but it's long distance at the moment till he can afford his car. We decided that since my brother lives in his state, I'll fly down to my brothers for the holidays and then my brother will drop me off at his place for a about 4 days. I know what your thinking but let me reassure you. I will be in his room, and he will be sleeping in his parents room with them. He had it all planned out; he wanted to take me to the beach and we could waltz on the beach together (we're both ballroom dancers), kayaking, a walk through the city lights lit up for Christmas, and a bonfire with jazz music and star gazing. His plans- he came up with all of it.

Well, just like 3 weeks away from the trip, and he didn't call me yesterday which is weird and this morning out of nowhere he texts me and was like "So about you coming to my place, I don't think it'll work out." And I responded asking what's wrong and he never responded. I'm absolutely shocked. I already bought plane tickets and he knows it. I really care about him idk why he would just bail on me... Like I've never felt this way about someone before...

The rest of the day I've been quite confused and down in the dumps. I'm also having thoughts of just rebelling and dressing provocativly and just getting a man for the sake of it. It's horrible but my mind is spinning and I don't know what to do... I just don't feel good enough anymore

He sounds romantic, but does he know the Lord?

 

[faroukfarouk]

Little note about him and I, were both 17, neither of us have ever been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, living a Christian lifestyle. I've known this guy since the summer, and from day one we just really hit it off. We had a great time talking and laughing. Shortly after meeting and literally spending every day together, his family moved to a state that's 10 hours away. Well, we talk on the phone basically every day. Talking about serious stuff, or just joking around. We've never argued or disagreed on anything. Recently it's to the point where he frequently states his affections for me in subtle ways, telling me I'm a beautiful, virtuous woman of God, and even refers to me with openly on social media. I respond the same way to him.

So we both really want to see each other again, but it's long distance at the moment till he can afford his car. We decided that since my brother lives in his state, I'll fly down to my brothers for the holidays and then my brother will drop me off at his place for a about 4 days. I know what your thinking but let me reassure you. I will be in his room, and he will be sleeping in his parents room with them. He had it all planned out; he wanted to take me to the beach and we could waltz on the beach together (we're both ballroom dancers), kayaking, a walk through the city lights lit up for Christmas, and a bonfire with jazz music and star gazing. His plans- he came up with all of it.

Well, just like 3 weeks away from the trip, and he didn't call me yesterday which is weird and this morning out of nowhere he texts me and was like "So about you coming to my place, I don't think it'll work out." And I responded asking what's wrong and he never responded. I'm absolutely shocked. I already bought plane tickets and he knows it. I really care about him idk why he would just bail on me... Like I've never felt this way about someone before...

The rest of the day I've been quite confused and down in the dumps. I'm also having thoughts of just rebelling and dressing provocativly and just getting a man for the sake of it. It's horrible but my mind is spinning and I don't know what to do... I just don't feel good enough anymore

Hi; you're still young, and life will go on. The priority is to enjoy God's Word prayerfully for yourself; John First Epistle talks about walking in the light and fellowship with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ, which lies at the heart of every God honoring friendship.

 

[salt-n-light]

Hi; you're still young, and life will go on. The priority is to enjoy God's Word prayerfully for yourself; John First Epistle talks about walking in the light and fellowship with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ, which lies at the heart of every God honoring friendship.

I almost want to tell her to run for the hills lol... i think I will

 

[Kazzy0614]

He sounds romantic, but does he know the Lord?

Very much so. He's filled with the Holy Spirit, spends time daily with the Lord, lives out a Christian lifestyle etc.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I almost want to tell her to run for the hills lol... i think I will

Like, maybe his pronouncement is a blessing in disguise?

 

[Kazzy0614]

Like, maybe his pronouncement is a blessing in disguise?

Yeah... perhaps this is just God shutting a door He doesn't want me to go down...

 

[salt-n-light]

Little note about him and I, were both 17, neither of us have ever been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, living a Christian lifestyle. I've known this guy since the summer, and from day one we just really hit it off. We had a great time talking and laughing. Shortly after meeting and literally spending every day together, his family moved to a state that's 10 hours away. Well, we talk on the phone basically every day. Talking about serious stuff, or just joking around. We've never argued or disagreed on anything. Recently it's to the point where he frequently states his affections for me in subtle ways, telling me I'm a beautiful, virtuous woman of God, and even refers to me with openly on social media. I respond the same way to him.

So we both really want to see each other again, but it's long distance at the moment till he can afford his car. We decided that since my brother lives in his state, I'll fly down to my brothers for the holidays and then my brother will drop me off at his place for a about 4 days. I know what your thinking but let me reassure you. I will be in his room, and he will be sleeping in his parents room with them. He had it all planned out; he wanted to take me to the beach and we could waltz on the beach together (we're both ballroom dancers), kayaking, a walk through the city lights lit up for Christmas, and a bonfire with jazz music and star gazing. His plans- he came up with all of it.

Well, just like 3 weeks away from the trip, and he didn't call me yesterday which is weird and this morning out of nowhere he texts me and was like "So about you coming to my place, I don't think it'll work out." And I responded asking what's wrong and he never responded. I'm absolutely shocked. I already bought plane tickets and he knows it. I really care about him idk why he would just bail on me... Like I've never felt this way about someone before...

The rest of the day I've been quite confused and down in the dumps. I'm also having thoughts of just rebelling and dressing provocativly and just getting a man for the sake of it. It's horrible but my mind is spinning and I don't know what to do... I just don't feel good enough anymore

Run for the hills girl. Run to God.

Its almost like I'm talking to my 17 year old self, because I had that same exact experience with someone in your age. Started off as both of us are lukewarm christians, so all feelings, no God, until he decided he didnt want God nor me anymore. He left God, and I've became closer. God cut it off and it was the best thing He could have done.

God loves you more than anything, if you seek Him and take time to hear him out in the Word and tell Him and ask Him some of the stuff you've been itching to tell this guy, i bet you God will always outdo whatever that guy has to offer.

You may not see it that way, but try seeking God, with an open mind, and geniunely seek out answers to your questions in the Word. Find a study buddy/mentor.

Society make this relationship and love thing too casual, as you're slowly realizing that there is a spiritual responsibility to it. There are reasons why God has a tight grip when it comes to such things like relationships, sex, and marriage. I'm pretty sure that guy doesn't even recognize that, but God does, all spelled out in the Word.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Yeah... perhaps this is just God shutting a door He doesn't want me to go down...

Revelation 3.7 says: "These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth..."

The Lord does indeed open and close doors.

 

[salt-n-light]

Very much so. He's filled with the Holy Spirit, spends time daily with the Lord, lives out a Christian lifestyle etc.

A guy with the Holy Spirit would not have a seared conscious when it comes to keeping his word on things, especially if he does truly love you.His love towards you should be as obvious as Jesus love for the Church.

 

[Babe Ruth]

Sorry to hear what you're going thru..
Maybe give him a couple days, and at the very least he'll explain what has changed (?)
Stay up ~

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

Sorry to hear you're hurting, relationships can be so difficult and painful. For the why...10 hrs is a long distance for any romantic kind of relationship, especially for males more visually inclined. Perhaps when the prospect of something went away, his interest failed? It could be one of his parents or siblings sent the text? May not seem like it but as someone mentioned, you're still young. I've had several friends that I knew closely for years and our friendship just kind of vanished into thin air without explaination. I never knew what a romantic relationship was even like until I got together with my wife. Up until then, I had only gone on a few dates that never made it to a second date. Every rejection hurt me more and more. I waited for what seemed like an eternity, I rebelled exactly two moths before getting married, imagine how that felt.

 

[Kazzy0614]

I just want to thank all of you. You have no idea what the support means to me. I haven't told anyone yet... not even my mom because I'm so embarrassed... I mean, she bought me a plane ticket because she knows we really care (or *cared in his case) about each other and she is friends with his mom, and my mom really loves him. I'm hurt and feel like I need to shut it away, but I know I'll have to tell them sometime just, not now...

I know in my mind that I'm young for this whole relationship thing, but I feel like a woman and am ready. I'm in college, have a good job, I just crave affection too you know? I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met him, he wasn't either. He was amazing too, Jesus loving, 100% gentleman, romantic, funny, sweet, handsome- that's why I was so shocked...

 

[faroukfarouk]

I just want to thank all of you. You have no idea what the support means to me. I haven't told anyone yet... not even my mom because I'm so embarrassed... I mean, she bought me a plane ticket because she knows we really care (or *cared in his case) about each other and she is friends with his mom, and my mom really loves him. I'm hurt and feel like I need to shut it away, but I know I'll have to tell them sometime just, not now...

I know in my mind that I'm young for this whole relationship thing, but I feel like a woman and am ready. I'm in college, have a good job, I just crave affection too you know? I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met him, he wasn't either. He was amazing too, Jesus loving, 100% gentleman, romantic, funny, sweet, handsome- that's why I was so shocked...

YW. Keep reading God's Word; and maybe you and your mom can go visit someplace interesting with the ticket she bought you.

 

[mukk_in]

Little note about him and I, were both 17, neither of us have ever been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, living a Christian lifestyle. I've known this guy since the summer, and from day one we just really hit it off. We had a great time talking and laughing. Shortly after meeting and literally spending every day together, his family moved to a state that's 10 hours away. Well, we talk on the phone basically every day. Talking about serious stuff, or just joking around. We've never argued or disagreed on anything. Recently it's to the point where he frequently states his affections for me in subtle ways, telling me I'm a beautiful, virtuous woman of God, and even refers to me with openly on social media. I respond the same way to him.

So we both really want to see each other again, but it's long distance at the moment till he can afford his car. We decided that since my brother lives in his state, I'll fly down to my brothers for the holidays and then my brother will drop me off at his place for a about 4 days. I know what your thinking but let me reassure you. I will be in his room, and he will be sleeping in his parents room with them. He had it all planned out; he wanted to take me to the beach and we could waltz on the beach together (we're both ballroom dancers), kayaking, a walk through the city lights lit up for Christmas, and a bonfire with jazz music and star gazing. His plans- he came up with all of it.

Well, just like 3 weeks away from the trip, and he didn't call me yesterday which is weird and this morning out of nowhere he texts me and was like "So about you coming to my place, I don't think it'll work out." And I responded asking what's wrong and he never responded. I'm absolutely shocked. I already bought plane tickets and he knows it. I really care about him idk why he would just bail on me... Like I've never felt this way about someone before...

The rest of the day I've been quite confused and down in the dumps. I'm also having thoughts of just rebelling and dressing provocativly and just getting a man for the sake of it. It's horrible but my mind is spinning and I don't know what to do... I just don't feel good enough anymore

Difficult situation kid. You'll be receiving good advice here. Don't rebel or be in the dumps, but stay focused on Christ. The Lord will do what's good for you in His good time. God bless .

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Sorry...but it sounds to me like it's a case of: relationship intoxication.
You spent every day together, talked every day on the phone...you make
plans, then there's the distance thing...all that is hard on young people.
It gets too much for one of you and which ever one puts the breaks on the
relationship and you get heartbreak...it's sad but that happens.
Recovering from heartbreak takes time...it may not be what you want to hear,
but you should talk to your mom about how things are with you.

[He's 10 hours away, you in college and you have a good job...child, when
did you have time for romance? you got a lot going on for someone who's
17.]


As for what to do....talk things over with the Lord and with your mom.
Deepen your faith walk with the Lord and look into ways you can be
sharing your faith and helping others.
As for those revenge thoughts, put them where they belong...in the garbage can.
Renew your mind on the Word of God and ask the Lord to help you to forgive and
to heal your broken heart.

 

[Kazzy0614]

It's been a while so I thought I should update. He was gone for about 3 weeks, and I was quite upset in that time frame. Then a few days before my trip he texts me frantically apologizing. Apparently his mom took his phone because he was on it too much, so he couldn't contact me. I was very on edge about the whole thing so I forgave him and sorta braced to let our relationship die, but we talked about it and he was very genuinely sorry. We couldn't get together for the trip being as it was last minute, but things are now better than ever and he's going to be staying with me for a week in March.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Focus on the Lord and the things that are already on your plate....college, homework and your job...17 and you're loaded down with all that... like I said
before, when do you have time for romance? you going to end up an emotional
mess trying to balance all that out... guess you'll learn that for yourself.

Avoid shacking up with him that week in March should it come to be...

 

[Kazzy0614]

Thank you for the advice. And definitely we won't do anything inappropriate while he's here. We've both made a covenant to wait till marriage.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thank you for the advice. And definitely we won't do anything inappropriate while he's here. We've both made a covenant to wait till marriage.

Remember that the believer depends on God keeping His promises: "For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us." (2 Corinthians 1.20).

So if we don't keep our promises, what does this say about our attitude to God?