Receiving criticism, backlash and judgement from family over not celebrating the holidays

[ViaCrucis]

While family should be more understanding--and part of loving one another is loving one another through our differences.

But I would also highly encourage both you and your husband to study the subject a lot more. The "Christmas is pagan" idea is a common but mistaken idea that, unfortunately, has a lot of support from less than reputable sources. But solid historical study sufficiently eradicates such notions.

By all means, you should abide by your conscience here. But I also would hope that you won't be missing out on the joy of the Christian Calendar on account of misinformation. The beauty of the Liturgical Year is immense, and is a profoundly wonderful thing in our lives as it constantly points us, throughout the entire year, to Christ and what Christ has done for us.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[StephenDiscipleofYHWH]

Before I begin, I just want to make it clear that I do not condemn anyone who does celebrate the holidays nor do I think it necessary to stay away from holidays in order to be saved. That is just completely unbiblical. However, I do believe many of the larger holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc.) do heavily incorporate paganism, which is why my husband and I have decided to drop these traditions all together. Again, no condemnation on anyone so I'm not seeking to debate the matter, but just sharing my belief for reference sake. ​

Because of this change in our life, which we made quite a few years ago now, the build up of time has led to (largely my side of the family) an accumulation of feelings towards our conviction. My family isn't even Christian apart from my mom having a recent conversion, but the fact that we aren't taking part in these traditions, is a big problem in their eyes.

Yesterday my dad questioned me on the matter once again, largely because he cannot picture us raising our children without teaching them these things as he once had. There was a slight sliver of hope because he says he understands more now where we are coming from, but I've already explained this to him before so I have a good feeling he's just going to come back eventually to this topic again.

Just this morning, my mom called me and was freaking out over the fact that we don't celebrate the holidays, especially Christmas. I told her it's my religious conviction and she became snarky with me after this, even going as far as to say it's because of my husband that I've changed - i.e. he's forcing me down this path, which simply just isn't true. (I come from atheism making Christianity a huge change in my life overall)

After our marriage last year, my step-mom approached me telling me she was worried we were in a cult, which is absolutely ludicrous considering we attend a traditional baptist church that does celebrate these holidays. She attended our church for the wedding, so she's seen it for herself and I had a hard time fathoming how she came to that conclusion. Besides that, I think my husband and I are the only people in our church body that holds this belief, but as you can see, we don't let that stop us from loving the people in it and partaking in where we feel God has placed us.

Do you have any advice for us on how to handle all of this backlash? I fear that the more this spreads, the more backlash we may receive from other relatives. We hardly mention this belief to anyone, unless the moment really calls for it, but to everyone else it seems to be of the utmost importance, even if in their lives, Christ isn't. Ultimately what we want is for others to see Christ in us and I find this to be such a small thing on the grand scope of coming to salvation in Jesus. I just wish they too would see that.

As someone who does not keep these holidays I can understand what you are going through, I was very young when my family stopped keeping any traditions that were not kept by the Apostles. I remember though that outside of my immediate family my relatives had a huge problem with it and called us a cult and said that my dad was teaching lies about these things. It eventually led to most them not talking to us(we were many states away from them to begin with). My parents( along with my sister and I) held to the belief that celebrating these things were wrong and for it they were hated by many of their family members and most of which I have never even spoken to.

If you are really serious about not keeping those Holidays whether it be because of their roots or because they were not taught by the Apostles in the NT then stand firm by that belief and remember what the Lord has said:
Matt 10:34-36
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

Luke 12:51-53
51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.
53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

I hope this helps,
Peace

 

[Steve97]

Before I begin, I just want to make it clear that I do not condemn anyone who does celebrate the holidays nor do I think it necessary to stay away from holidays in order to be saved. That is just completely unbiblical. However, I do believe many of the larger holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc.) do heavily incorporate paganism, which is why my husband and I have decided to drop these traditions all together. Again, no condemnation on anyone so I'm not seeking to debate the matter, but just sharing my belief for reference sake. ​

Because of this change in our life, which we made quite a few years ago now, the build up of time has led to (largely my side of the family) an accumulation of feelings towards our conviction. My family isn't even Christian apart from my mom having a recent conversion, but the fact that we aren't taking part in these traditions, is a big problem in their eyes.

Yesterday my dad questioned me on the matter once again, largely because he cannot picture us raising our children without teaching them these things as he once had. There was a slight sliver of hope because he says he understands more now where we are coming from, but I've already explained this to him before so I have a good feeling he's just going to come back eventually to this topic again.

Just this morning, my mom called me and was freaking out over the fact that we don't celebrate the holidays, especially Christmas. I told her it's my religious conviction and she became snarky with me after this, even going as far as to say it's because of my husband that I've changed - i.e. he's forcing me down this path, which simply just isn't true. (I come from atheism making Christianity a huge change in my life overall)

After our marriage last year, my step-mom approached me telling me she was worried we were in a cult, which is absolutely ludicrous considering we attend a traditional baptist church that does celebrate these holidays. She attended our church for the wedding, so she's seen it for herself and I had a hard time fathoming how she came to that conclusion. Besides that, I think my husband and I are the only people in our church body that holds this belief, but as you can see, we don't let that stop us from loving the people in it and partaking in where we feel God has placed us.

Do you have any advice for us on how to handle all of this backlash? I fear that the more this spreads, the more backlash we may receive from other relatives. We hardly mention this belief to anyone, unless the moment really calls for it, but to everyone else it seems to be of the utmost importance, even if in their lives, Christ isn't. Ultimately what we want is for others to see Christ in us and I find this to be such a small thing on the grand scope of coming to salvation in Jesus. I just wish they too would see that.

Yup...I've been there, especially the "you must be in a cult" thing. I know it hurts. Stick with your convictions, pray, study the scripture and remember the holiday celebrations are part of the culture. Christians are a minority and we can't expect society and culture to conform to our faith. Praying for God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you strength and courage.

 

[Heavenhome]

Before I begin, I just want to make it clear that I do not condemn anyone who does celebrate the holidays nor do I think it necessary to stay away from holidays in order to be saved. That is just completely unbiblical. However, I do believe many of the larger holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc.) do heavily incorporate paganism, which is why my husband and I have decided to drop these traditions all together. Again, no condemnation on anyone so I'm not seeking to debate the matter, but just sharing my belief for reference sake. ​

Because of this change in our life, which we made quite a few years ago now, the build up of time has led to (largely my side of the family) an accumulation of feelings towards our conviction. My family isn't even Christian apart from my mom having a recent conversion, but the fact that we aren't taking part in these traditions, is a big problem in their eyes.

Yesterday my dad questioned me on the matter once again, largely because he cannot picture us raising our children without teaching them these things as he once had. There was a slight sliver of hope because he says he understands more now where we are coming from, but I've already explained this to him before so I have a good feeling he's just going to come back eventually to this topic again.

Just this morning, my mom called me and was freaking out over the fact that we don't celebrate the holidays, especially Christmas. I told her it's my religious conviction and she became snarky with me after this, even going as far as to say it's because of my husband that I've changed - i.e. he's forcing me down this path, which simply just isn't true. (I come from atheism making Christianity a huge change in my life overall)

After our marriage last year, my step-mom approached me telling me she was worried we were in a cult, which is absolutely ludicrous considering we attend a traditional baptist church that does celebrate these holidays. She attended our church for the wedding, so she's seen it for herself and I had a hard time fathoming how she came to that conclusion. Besides that, I think my husband and I are the only people in our church body that holds this belief, but as you can see, we don't let that stop us from loving the people in it and partaking in where we feel God has placed us.

Do you have any advice for us on how to handle all of this backlash? I fear that the more this spreads, the more backlash we may receive from other relatives. We hardly mention this belief to anyone, unless the moment really calls for it, but to everyone else it seems to be of the utmost importance, even if in their lives, Christ isn't. Ultimately what we want is for others to see Christ in us and I find this to be such a small thing on the grand scope of coming to salvation in Jesus. I just wish they too would see that.

I applaud you and your husband for standing by your convictions.
As you have explained to your family why you don't want to take part in Christmas and Easter, so long as you still see them at other times, I believe they should respect your views.
I went through similar and eventually my stance was accepted.

 

[tryphena rose]

As someone who does not keep these holidays I can understand what you are going through, I was very young when my family stopped keeping any traditions that were not kept by the Apostles. I remember though that outside of my immediate family my relatives had a huge problem with it and called us a cult and said that my dad was teaching lies about these things. It eventually led to most them not talking to us(we were many states away from them to begin with). My parents( along with my sister and I) held to the belief that celebrating these things were wrong and for it they were hated by many of their family members and most of which I have never even spoken to.

If you are really serious about not keeping those Holidays whether it be because of their roots or because they were not taught by the Apostles in the NT then stand firm by that belief and remember what the Lord has said:
Matt 10:34-36
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

Luke 12:51-53
51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.
53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

I hope this helps,
Peace

Thank you for posting those scriptures! I was looking for them but couldn't remember where exactly I had read them before. Especially for those on here who are saying to celebrate it anyway to make my family happy, well that's not what Jesus had said. Your post brought me lots of comfort so thank you so much for your comment!

Yup...I've been there, especially the "you must be in a cult" thing. I know it hurts. Stick with your convictions, pray, study the scripture and remember the holiday celebrations are part of the culture. Christians are a minority and we can't expect society and culture to conform to our faith. Praying for God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you strength and courage.

Yes Steve, you are completely right. Thank you for your prayers and God bless!

I applaud you and your husband for standing by your convictions.
As you have explained to your family why you don't want to take part in Christmas and Easter, so long as you still see them at other times, I believe they should respect your views.
I went through similar and eventually my stance was accepted.

Thank you Heavenhome! We agree. We aren't against gift giving or seeing our family throughout the year. In fact we do believe we should see each other more often then just on the holidays and also to give gifts to one another when we least expect it, so it's not just out of "obligation" like so many feel it is. And yes, I hope that they'll learn to respect our views because we do respect theirs. Many blessings to you friend.

 

[Billy UK]

Hi tryphena rose

Do what you feel the Lord leading you to do and honor his voice above every other voice

The below Scripture was when I decided to not celebrate certain things in the way the world celebrates them with their pagan origins.

Jeremiah (KJV)

10 Hear ye the word which the Lord speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:

2 Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.