Is family a right or a privilege?

[Gnarwhal]

I'm just reflecting on this complicated issue with my sister-in-law and relating it to an episode of a sitcom I used to love. Long story short, two of the main characters are married, the wife had an absentee father who is trying to reconcile with her and her husband naively invites him to Thanksgiving. After realizing her dad still hadn't changed enough, if at all, the husband kicked him out and went to find his wife who had left in anger. He tells her family's a privilege not a right, and her dad has to earn it.

Do you guys think that conflicts too much with the Church's teachings on marriage and family?

Reason I bring this up is my wife is trying her best to guide her younger sister who's unmarried, pregnant, and her boyfriend who's 11 years her junior isn't indicating any movement towards marriage. We would let this play out more on it's own and stay out of it if we didn't see all of the stress that his actions are putting on my sister-in-law and thus, presumably, the unborn baby. At first we were encouraging them to get married because we thought that'd be best for everyone, but we laid off that a long time ago and now my wife is wrestling with telling her sister she ought to leave this guy. She doesn't want to create a situation like her own kids were in where their parents weren't together, but she also sees the father's lack of "stepping up" or "manning up" and worries about how it could affect her sister and her unborn niece's health. Especially when her sister has a history of mental health problems.

I started thinking that the father/boyfriend is acting like he doesn't have to act cause she's already "stuck" with him, which led me to me remembering that line from the show.

I'm probably way off base from a Catholic standpoint but if I am then it really seems like a no-win situation.

 

[zippy2006]

I think the key here is that the father has a duty to his wife and children. The main problem is that the father is not fulfilling his duty. As far as Catholic teaching goes, this is what is most clear.

Then when his wife leaves him we might ask whether he has a right to his child (or to her). I think the law tracks this just fine. A parent has a right to their children which can nevertheless be taken away in serious circumstances. We might call this an alienable right. So it is somewhere in the middle. If a man fails to fulfill his parental or marital duties in very serious ways then his rights to these realities can be removed, practically and/or legally.

 

[Michie]

I'm just reflecting on this complicated issue with my sister-in-law and relating it to an episode of a sitcom I used to love. Long story short, two of the main characters are married, the wife had an absentee father who is trying to reconcile with her and her husband naively invites him to Thanksgiving. After realizing her dad still hadn't changed enough, if at all, the husband kicked him out and went to find his wife who had left in anger. He tells her family's a privilege not a right, and her dad has to earn it.

Do you guys think that conflicts too much with the Church's teachings on marriage and family?

Reason I bring this up is my wife is trying her best to guide her younger sister who's unmarried, pregnant, and her boyfriend who's 11 years her junior isn't indicating any movement towards marriage. We would let this play out more on it's own and stay out of it if we didn't see all of the stress that his actions are putting on my sister-in-law and thus, presumably, the unborn baby. At first we were encouraging them to get married because we thought that'd be best for everyone, but we laid off that a long time ago and now my wife is wrestling with telling her sister she ought to leave this guy. She doesn't want to create a situation like her own kids were in where their parents weren't together, but she also sees the father's lack of "stepping up" or "manning up" and worries about how it could affect her sister and her unborn niece's health. Especially when her sister has a history of mental health problems.

I started thinking that the father/boyfriend is acting like he doesn't have to act cause she's already "stuck" with him, which led me to me remembering that line from the show.

I'm probably way off base from a Catholic standpoint but if I am then it really seems like a no-win situation.

If I remember correctly, isn’t her boyfriend a lot younger than her? The reason I’m asking is because having kids outside of marriage is pretty much the norm as compared to a committed marriage anymore. What is the boyfriend’s mindset?

 

[Gnarwhal]

If I remember correctly, isn’t her boyfriend a lot younger than her? The reason I’m asking is because having kids outside of marriage is pretty much the norm as compared to a committed marriage anymore. What is the boyfriend’s mindset?

Yeah he's over 10 years younger than her, I think if they were both left to their own devices they wouldn't be in any kind of hurry to marry but especially him.

 

[Michie]

Yeah he's over 10 years younger than her, I think if they were both left to their own devices they wouldn't be in any kind of hurry to marry but especially him.

Well that explains it really….I know neither one are involved with the Church and given his age… it’s the norm culturally to have the baby married or not. If I were you and your wife, I’d think it would be best to stay out of it and pray. Just be a good influence and witness. From my personal pov… it does not sound like the relationship is going anywhere and frankly, it might be a blessing in disguise.