Premarital Intercourse?

[Tylyr]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

 

[amandatea]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

Yes, it does mean that.

 

[Tylyr]

Yes, it does mean that.

And if they argue that it doesn't make sense to stop?

 

[Receiver]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

Technically, you don't have to stop fornicating to receive God's Spirit (become a Christian - see Acts 2:4, 33; Romans 8:8-9).

He will give you great insight, confidence and commission ... what "you don't see" God does.
The only way to see God's will is to put your thoughts & plans to one side and give God "free reign".

Best thing is get to a meeting where people have God's Spirit, hear their stories of how God transformed them.
If you supply an e-mail address I will send you a .doc with some.
You may prefer to use the private message system.

 

[aiki]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

The Bible is pretty plain that sex is to be reserved for marriage. If the couple doesn't want to get hitched, they should stop having sex. What's stopping, them, exactly, from getting a marriage license? It sounds like they've been "playing house" for some time now. Is marriage practically-speaking really that big a step?

And if they argue that it doesn't make sense to stop?

Well, I'd ask him/her what exactly doesn't make sense? Is God confused or mistaken that sex is to be reserved for married couples? Is His design for sex nonsensical? If that's what this person thinks, why would he/she want to be a Christian? I mean, if God can be mistaken about sex, why couldn't He be mistaken about many other things? And if God is mistaken about many things, why would anyone want to yield their life to Him (which is what being a Christian requires)?

Selah.

 

[fuji]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

What are the other options? Hand lotion or sticky bed sheets?

I notice a lot of these threads talk about sex. I think it is interesting that Christians talk about it so much.

 

[seashale76]

And if they argue that it doesn't make sense to stop?

Then they can absolutely get their keisters to a justice of the peace and get hitched. If they can find the time to have sex all the time- then they can find the time to get married. This marriage isn't possible nonsense is a load of nonsense in and of itself.

 

[hedrick]

I'm sure you're aware that not all Christians feel the same way as the other posters about premarital sex, particularly in a situation like this where there's already an implied commitment.

But you can't expect to become a Christian and have it not affect the way you live. However I would not advocate that someone become overly concerned about some specific thing like this. A Christian will have to evaluate their life, and understand that things are going to change. But I wouldn't be too sure that a non-Christian can anticipate just what their life is going to end up as, or what the most serious difficulties are going to be. So I'd hate to see someone start out with the idea that nothing is going to change, but I'd also hate to have them not go ahead because they're afraid of some specific thing. God will work on them.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Finally a voice of reason-Well said Hedrick!

 

[amandatea]

Then they can absolutely get their keisters to a justice of the peace and get hitched. If they can find the time to have sex all the time- then they can find the time to get married. This marriage isn't possible nonsense is a load of nonsense in and of itself.

Exactly.

I was sleeping with my (now ex-)boyfriend when I started learning about Jesus and the Bible. I felt a conviction about the premarital sex. I could not do it anymore. I would rather lose my boyfriend and have peace with God and be obedient to God's laws, than lose my soul. That's what it comes down to.

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

Well, from 'interest' it seems (correct me, please--seriously, respectfully, always) if I'm wrong) that you are not yet a Christian, so don't 'leap' before you jump in:

In other words, take it one step at a time like get a Bible, or if you have one, read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John plus Romans, 1 Corinthians and Galatians (the last three are Paul's letters sometimes referred to as Pauline Epistles),

and remember that Jesus is the Redeemer; He came to save sinners, not to beat up nonbelievers, so read The Beattitudes (Matthew chapter 5 through chapter 7),

and pray, humbly.

I stutter when that is how I feel, so use your own words, from wherever you are, privately, to God, you know like, 'I don't know how to do this, please help me, lots of people say one thing and then another Christian says something else, and I feel confused, and I don't know, just could you help me know what to do?'

Then listen...

Prayer is more about listening for God's will and direction (for me) than it is about talking on and on and on, because, well, I get to do that wih other regular fall-able human beings, so I need to listen to God who is Perfect Love.

Please send me a private message or just visit my page-and do the same with anyone who seems gentle and honest and willing to help, so if I don't seem to be someone who might help you, don't listen to me:

Pray to God, instead.



And welcome to the Christian Forum. There are so many, many people here, and games to play, and serious to silly discussions. I hope you find the guidance and fellowship you need.

~ Carolyn

P.S. This is how I would handle it if it's a personal question, or what you might want to tell someone else in this position.

 

[TheDag]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

a friend of mine got married at the registry office which cost stuff all unless you want to have reception there. Later on they had a wedding ceremony at church with all the fancy extras. I would say there is nothing preventing this. After all the bible does say it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

I don't think there is anything that can't be easily solved. It may be difficult to stop some things. However that still doesn't prevent one from being a Christian. Christians aren't perfect and we all sin.

 

[znr]

It's none of your business in the first place.

And if they argue that it doesn't make sense to stop?

 

[Bella Vita]

Yes you do if you really love God and you really love her. You will respect her and value her as your future wife enough to wait. God's way is always the best way and sadly we don't always see this until it is too late. I have been on the scary side of sex before marriage and trust me you want to wait. Nothing good comes from having sex before marriage only hurt and pain. So get some accountability, have some honest talks, put boundaries in place do what you have to do, but work hard at stopping I understand it is hard but you need to stop.

 

[Max Shade]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

I adhere to the idea that marriage is more about the spiritual condition of the people and God involved. Having a marriage blessed or having state recognition is nice but not essential.

That said, I am pretty skeptical of the question. "Don't see marriage possible withing few years" is that because one of the partners is demanding a dowry? Is that because one or more of the partners are significantly underage? It boggles the mind, why could it possibly take years?

Check this out, I got married in a coffee shop. The owner held it open for us in exchange for people buying coffee. This was after a dinner reception at a nearby pizza joint. It was great. It was also outlandishly cheap. I can see waiting to save up money as a reason. So what is it, why do they have to wait?

 

[Susiejo]

You don't get cleaned up to take a bath, so it is the same with getting saved. You don't have to clean up to come to God, God will do that after you come to Him. And He does it in his own time. Pray and seek God and He will cleanse you. None of us would be christians today if we had to be clean before we came to Him, because that is not how it works. God is love and only He can know your heart, and only He can know how to bring about the changes in your life in the right time and right way so that you can truly start a new life with Him.
Just let God be God and let Him work on you.

 

[GodsGirlToday61]

I adhere to the idea that marriage is more about the spiritual condition of the people and God involved. Having a marriage blessed or having state recognition is nice but not essential.

That said, I am pretty skeptical of the question. "Don't see marriage possible withing few years" is that because one of the partners is demanding a dowry? Is that because one or more of the partners are significantly underage? It boggles the mind, why could it possibly take years?

Check this out, I got married in a coffee shop. The owner held it open for us in exchange for people buying coffee. This was after a dinner reception at a nearby pizza joint. It was great. It was also outlandishly cheap. I can see waiting to save up money as a reason. So what is it, why do they have to wait?

My husband and I waited (he was unsaved and I had backslid) for five years before we got married. Both of us had parents, you know two sets, who had terrible (not spiritually-based) marriages. In addition, I had been married before: My mother arranged my marriage when I was 15--I was not pregnant which is the first if not only thing so many assume, nor am I 'Indian' which is the second 'guess'; my mother was among other euphemisms, bonkers...

So, I was gun-shy as was my husband (this one) and we do have a spiritually-based marriage. I went through a Tribunal, and boy howdy was it ever! to have this marriage recognized as sacramental, which to many wouldn't seem necessary but I always felt as though we were, on some level, maybe committing adultery, and I can't tell you what it meant to us both, when the Tribunal process was over, to have this marriage recognized as sacramental:

I forgave my mother for so much; I mean the forgiveness grew out of the Tribunal process... And now my husband and I are so much closer (we've been together 25 years, married by the mayor of a small Ohio town, 20 years this past August), and right now he's at church Bible Study and I am resting (I'm severely disabled) with a heating pad on, waiting for him to come home and tell me all about Bible Study, and whether he gave a CD to someone (I made up the gospel song list and he burned it, after we bought the songs via iTunes).

Well, that was just one explanation for 'one couple' and why we waited five years... And my husband said he never thought he would get married at all; now he can't imagine life without me: See our photo; it's my profile picture; we were celebrating our Confirmation.

Peace to you, and us all, in Christ Jesus

~ Carolyn

 

[TexasGirl06]

From a Christian viewpoint, how might one answer this question?

"I have recently taken an interest in Christianity, but I have been in a relationship for the past couple years. We don't see marriage possible within the next few years; Does this mean we need to stop having sex?".

When you are born again, indwelt with the Holy Spirit - He will speak clearly to you about this subject, and convict you.

Maybe this has already happened.

But, to answer your question: yes, you should be obedient to the Word of God, as a Follower of Jesus Christ.
Repent, which means turn away from your sin,
and live a life that is holy and pleasing to the Lord.

....and (the best part)
Be Blessed!

 

[Girder of Loins]

No, it does not necessitate that they stop having sex with one another. It comes down to their convictions. If God convicts them, then they should stop. If God never convicts them, then they don't need to stop. "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."

 

[Inkachu]

Sex outside of marriage = fornication.

Fornication = sin.

Sin = no-no.

Ta-da.