Now I'm in trouble. I know I've been having colitis for some time, and I was healing it, but today I'm worse than ... ever. I have blood and mucus when I go to the toilet and I went 6-10 times today. I'm afraid if it's an ulclerative colitis. I don't know what to do. I'm desperate.
But I am not mad at God, I'm just asking what caused it. Where I did wrong, I tried to love everyone and live according to the Christ. I'm wondering if the devil is causing it, or God is punishing me for something. May the mighty God help me
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Illness is not due to sin (the book of Job makes that very, very clear), but rather an inherited part of our human mortality. In a broad sense, the fact that we live in a sinful world and are sinful people ourselves means that we must suffer and die in order for God to break us down and refashion us as He intended.
Do not blame yourself for your colitis any more than you blame yourself for the fact that you get hungry, need to sleep, etc. This is just your body doing its thing. It isn't a matter of guilt.
What you do in response to this is very, very simple. Go to a doctor; ask them to prescribe anti-colitis medications, and take them faithfully. We cannot demand miracles from God when He has already provided the means we need. As an example, if I needed money, it would be prideful for me to ask God to give me money miraculously if He's already given me a good job that provides what I need.
God gave human beings excellent brains, and those brains have figured out how to suppress colitis symptoms so that your body can live more healthfully. That's a miracle - that God gave us the ability to do that. Take that miracle with thanksgiving, and go see a doctor.
Don't blame yourself for human frailty. God HIMSELF died on the cross - did He sin? Are we better than Him that we, who ARE sinners, should go through life without sufferings?
But don't fail to act. When God gives us the means to end our suffering, that means He does not want us to persist in it. As soon as you can, get to a doctor and start pursuing a healthy body.
I hope that helps...
In Christ,
Macarius