Post here when you feel like cutting

[kathleenmary]

i want to cut now because i have school tomorrow. ah dont like it at all.

 

[Quiddler]

I want to cut. I can't cut. But I want to so badly. And I'm so very, very tired of life. This is not a suicide note - it's just a statement. I'm going to keep living. But it sucks so much sometimes.

 

[simplesurrender]

why didn't i see this thread 15 minutes ago?

 

[kathleenmary]

i want to cut now =[

 

[kathleenmary]

and i want to cut again.

 

[Quiddler]

Argh. Why is it that the urges come when stress levels rocket? Why can't I get beyond this? Why is it so hard?

 

[kathleenmary]

i want to cut. its like i just got back from church thinking that maybe, just maybe i would feel better. but no, it makes me want to cut myself.

 

[tapero]

Dear Kath,

I know you told me before, but I can't recall if you are seeing a therapist or not. And if you are does she or he help you with talking about cutting? God bless, Tapero

 

[berry2000]

Dear Kathleen,
You are stronger than you think you are. Just reading your posts over the past few days...I can see how hard you are fighting and striving towards more healthy behavior. I know first hand how hard that is...and how much fight it takes. Just wanted to say you may not feel strong but you are!

 

[berry2000]

Quiddler, why is it so hard why does it come when our stress levels are off the charts. I don't know. But I have felt the same. Hang in there! You can beat it.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

I want to cut so badly right now... i havent cut for like a whole week i think... but i am just feeling really low and yucky atm... and have been all day... the urge is sooooo strong today...

 

[beckybooiloveu]

i couldnt stop myself i did it... and i still feel like doing it again... wat is wrong with me... why wont the urge to go away...

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Bec, you need to tell someone in real life what's going on. Honestly, I know it's hard, but you can't let fear stop you getting the help you deserve here Bec. Sis, you know you matter to me and so many others on here - but you are also so important to so many people in realy life. They care about you and they really do want to help. Only you can make the choice to tell someone Hun - and I know you've got the strength to do it. I've seen you time and time again fight against this and I know you can do it again Beautiful. Please, please call your psych and make another appointment. Talk to your parents too - I don't know them, but I do know they'd rather know than not.

You matter sis. So much .

 

[kathleenmary]

Dear Kath,

I know you told me before, but I can't recall if you are seeing a therapist or not. And if you are does she or he help you with talking about cutting? God bless, Tapero

i am seeing a therapist but i dont know. i mean we talk about cutting, but i still always want to cut.

 

[kathleenmary]

Dear Kathleen,
You are stronger than you think you are. Just reading your posts over the past few days...I can see how hard you are fighting and striving towards more healthy behavior. I know first hand how hard that is...and how much fight it takes. Just wanted to say you may not feel strong but you are!

aw, thank you so much.

 

[foxyfan]

I want to cut so badly right now cause everything has been so crazy around here with my grandfather passing away on sunday and it just feels like i cant feel any emotion at all. I just feel so out of it and need things to feel real again, Just want to go back to old habbits.

 

[anteloperunner]

each day is getting harder...the urge is getting stronger.

it is like this little voice inside telling me one little one cant hurt

i want it so bad right now

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I want to cut so badly right now cause everything has been so crazy around here with my grandfather passing away on sunday and it just feels like i cant feel any emotion at all. I just feel so out of it and need things to feel real again, Just want to go back to old habbits.

Nat, when that happens, have you tried just touching the desk in front of you or the top of your computer monitor where it gets warm? I know it's a weird thing to say, but you don't need SI to feel things Gorgeous. You can feel real things without it

I also want to tell you how proud of you I am Hun. I know you've been going through such a tough time recently - especially at the moment - but all I've seen from you is courage. You're going to get through this Hun and I'm going to keep praying for you and sending you mental hugs. You can do it!

each day is getting harder...the urge is getting stronger.

it is like this little voice inside telling me one little one cant hurt

i want it so bad right now

Anteloperunner, do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about this? I don't SI, but I know that voice and I know that no matter how persistent it gets, it's still a lie. It hurts your spirit every time . Have you tried distractions like going for a jog or journaling or singing at all?

It's also a lot harder to fight this by yourself - having some that you can call or talk to some other way is great for getting past the urges. A counsellor, therapist or church pastor could be a great idea too if you're not already seeing someone .

I'm also here if you ever want to talk or vent Hun. You're in my prayers too.

Shalom,
Steffi

 

[tapero]

i am seeing a therapist but i dont know. i mean we talk about cutting, but i still always want to cut.

Hey Kath,

How are you doing? How often do you see your counselor. What suggestions do you and the counsleor come up with to distract you from cutting? Is it real hard being on the cheerleading squad. It sounds so cool! Love, Tapero

 

[anteloperunner]

The want and urge are still there and still growing stronger but i made it through last night without it. It just makes me mad at myself when i think about it because i know the road it led me down before and i am stupid to even think about that path again. i know the voice is a lie and i keep tell myself that but after you hear it so many time you begin to wonder what the truth is. i don't think my spirit can be hurt anymore because i don't know if there is enough of it left to hurt.

The main person i used to talk to that always seemed to bring me back and calm me down died last week. He was the one that helped me quit in the first place.

For distractions i play rugby, run, and play guitar.

And as for counseling last time it didnt go so well. It did more harm than good.

Allison