Poll: If a man likes a woman...

[hawkeyelovejs]

True or false: If a man likes a woman and wants to be in a relationship with her, he WILL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER...

Annnnd go!!!

 

[Bobthemotorcycle]

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[Bobthemotorcycle]

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[hawkeyelovejs]

Haha...ok, so to revise my question. If a man likes a woman, he will pursue her and take the appropriate action to try and have a relationship with her?

What I'm trying to get at here are these relationships that I keep falling into that go gray on me. Like maybe I talk to someone a lot, hang out a lot, but I don't have that official girlfriend title. Or maybe he talks a big game, but nothing ever happens.

I see a lot of women in these same situations and I'm just thinking bottom line, if a guy is interested, a woman WILL know it! Wondering if this theory is correct?

 

[sehnsucht9]

If a man is interested, you will know.

 

[Nanopants]

I see a lot of women in these same situations and I'm just thinking bottom line, if a guy is interested, a woman WILL know it! Wondering if this theory is correct?

If he's interested, and he has a healthy sense of self esteem, I'm guessing it would most likely be the case, but not always. We're obviously not invincible. I know I have been interested on occasion, knocked on a few doors, and ended up walking away just because I was too down-and-out over a past breakup to make things happen. I'd say it's largely situational and a willingness to make it known is not the same as actually being interested in or liking someone.

 

[KitKatMatt]

If a man is interested in a woman, he needs to bring it to her attention.

Whether he is accepted or rejected, he has at least put himself out there, which can be the hardest part but is also the most necessary part.

Same goes for women who are interested in a man.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Yes you will know, if a guy is into you, he will make it happen,even if he is shot down in flames and takes him months haha

Though I think as a women you have to make yourself clearer as guys can pick it up wrong.

 

[Nanopants]

Hmm.

I don't really think that's true. Not of all guys anyways. If he gets "shot down" and he doesn't want to "make it happen" that doesn't mean he didn't like the girl. He might just not want to talk to her anymore. I mean, who would want to talk to someone who does that, and why? It doesn't make any sense to me at all really.

Edit: we also don't *have to* let women know we're interested, although I doubt that's what you meant KitKatt. Ofc, we shouldn't expect to find success if we don't, but, we don't have to want to find success either. Sometimes a guy may not want to pursue, even if he is attracted. It happens. "If he likes you, you will know" is false and misleading.

 

[Bobthemotorcycle]

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[Nanopants]

Lol. Not sure if I like where this is going. Possibly.

Folks, a notch on the bedpost is only the measure of success among people who know of no other way to measure success.

 

[keith99]

Haha...ok, so to revise my question. If a man likes a woman, he will pursue her and take the appropriate action to try and have a relationship with her?

What I'm trying to get at here are these relationships that I keep falling into that go gray on me. Like maybe I talk to someone a lot, hang out a lot, but I don't have that official girlfriend title. Or maybe he talks a big game, but nothing ever happens.

I see a lot of women in these same situations and I'm just thinking bottom line, if a guy is interested, a woman WILL know it! Wondering if this theory is correct?

Based on your previous post I'm answering this one NO.

Chopping out the guys with social issues and shyness the answer to yuor words in this post would be yes.

BUT the issue then becomes what the guy considers appropriate steps and that can very easily mean floating out an invitation of some kind and then taking appropriate action. For many that means backing off in the romantic sense if the invitation is not responded to in a positive manner.

That is a good thing when both people recognize the invitation and view it the same way. Sadly this is often not the case. If the guy thinks he has tried and she has indicated she is not interested it is game over until one starts it up again.

It is unreasonable to expect a guy to keep trying when he gets no response. Even more unreasonable if he instead got a negative response. The idea that a guy will force things if he is interested only works for the kind of guy that will be trouble later (with rare exceptions).

 

[Nanopants]

A man defined by a woman is no man at all.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm on a roll here.

 

[Bobthemotorcycle]

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[Nanopants]

Taking your mans hand and making him kiss you is not a notch on the bed post. It is called being comfortable with each other and allowed in my book. Jumping in bed does not come until after marriage as I am sure we all know.

Yeah, I get that. I'm just ranting about the silliness of a world that evaluates people as prizes to be won in a competition, and winners and losers based on the quality or quantity of prizes. There's so much more to life than that.

Its like I said, sometimes if you are interested it takes action.

Well, sometimes people can be interested in people without being interested in playing the game.

Behind every great man is a woman who put him there.

Those would be mothers. What kind of a man is defined by his possession of a woman? Not a kind that I want to be.

 

[JackofSpades]

A man defined by a woman is no man at all.

I rather let doctors tell me whether I'm man or not, than some random woman. If I go around asking that from women, alot of them would make up the rules for game to serve their own purposes.

 

[bhsmte]

True or false: If a man likes a woman and wants to be in a relationship with her, he WILL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER...

Annnnd go!!!

In my experience, relationships moving forward, typically involves both parties.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Yes a guy should let the lady know. But for Christian-Christian it isn't so simple.

Last year (before I met my ex GF) I asked another girl in my Christian small group out on a date. She very quickly refused, saying she isn't interested at all. That was like half a year ago, and things has been very odd ward between us ever since.

I kind of know what she is doing. She now have to constantly show/remind me that she isn't interested one tiny bit. Not one zip. And when she constantly do that to keep her distance, we have no chance of ever getting close as friends.

My other friend said it was great that I tried. Because if I never tried then I would never know. How else would I ever find a Christian lady to date?

But looking back, I am not sure if the risk was worth it. I broke a potential close friendship for one chance at a relationship. So suddenly she feels that all the care and good things I did for her was for dating her. She might even think the reason why I joined this small group, and eventually started leading it, was to get dates. She probably hated me for them now.

Christian-Christian relationship are super hard to get started because they are so complicated. The two people still have to see each other every week. It isn't as easy as "the guy should just let her know!" Do you ladies know how much risk are involved?

Let's say (fictional story) I go to the same church as you. I asked you out and you refused. Ok. Then I asked your friend Mary out and she also refused. Ok fine. Then I asked Jessie (you barely know her) out and she also refused. Alright.

Congratulations to myself. I am now suddenly a player in our church. I am suddenly not there for God. I am there just to find dates. All the volunteering and helping I did was not really for God, but for myself to get dates. Rumor and gossip spreads and I have to change church.

The above story didn't actually happened to me. But I don't want it to ever happen to me. And I just cannot see a solution through that, except to never try to ask any ladies in my church out on a date.

Or, I risk everything and ask the ladies out on dates. I can do this until the church label me a player and I move on.

This "story" has bothered me greatly ever since I broke up. Maybe this story came from the devil and its baseless. I kept thinking how "glad" I am that my ex wasn't a Christian and isn't a close member of my church. This thought is so evil, but it is going through my head. This thought is breaking my resolve to date Christian ladies only, and it is pushing me toward dating non-Christians. If any of you would provide me a solution to the above story I would really appreciate it. =)

 

[Sketcher]

Regardless of what should be or not, false.

 

[sehnsucht9]

Yes a guy should let the lady know. But for Christian-Christian it isn't so simple.

Last year (before I met my ex GF) I asked another girl in my Christian small group out on a date. She very quickly refused, saying she isn't interested at all. That was like half a year ago, and things has been very odd ward between us ever since.

I kind of know what she is doing. She now have to constantly show/remind me that she isn't interested one tiny bit. Not one zip. And when she constantly do that to keep her distance, we have no chance of ever getting close as friends.

My other friend said it was great that I tried. Because if I never tried then I would never know. How else would I ever find a Christian lady to date?

But looking back, I am not sure if the risk was worth it. I broke a potential close friendship for one chance at a relationship. So suddenly she feels that all the care and good things I did for her was for dating her. She might even think the reason why I joined this small group, and eventually started leading it, was to get dates. She probably hated me for them now.

Christian-Christian relationship are super hard to get started because they are so complicated. The two people still have to see each other every week. It isn't as easy as "the guy should just let her know!" Do you ladies know how much risk are involved?

Let's say (fictional story) I go to the same church as you. I asked you out and you refused. Ok. Then I asked your friend Mary out and she also refused. Ok fine. Then I asked Jessie (you barely know her) out and she also refused. Alright.

Congratulations to myself. I am now suddenly a player in our church. I am suddenly not there for God. I am there just to find dates. All the volunteering and helping I did was not really for God, but for myself to get dates. Rumor and gossip spreads and I have to change church.

The above story didn't actually happened to me. But I don't want it to ever happen to me. And I just cannot see a solution through that, except to never try to ask any ladies in my church out on a date.

Or, I risk everything and ask the ladies out on dates. I can do this until the church label me a player and I move on.

This "story" has bothered me greatly ever since I broke up. Maybe this story came from the devil and its baseless. I kept thinking how "glad" I am that my ex wasn't a Christian and isn't a close member of my church. This thought is so evil, but it is going through my head. This thought is breaking my resolve to date Christian ladies only, and it is pushing me toward dating non-Christians. If any of you would provide me a solution to the above story I would really appreciate it. =)

Don't ask out a bunch of girls from your church. Get to know the women there in group settings and develop real friendships with them, before trying to decide if they're someone you want to date and get the inkling that she is also interested in you. Being friends within a group setting also carries the benefit of having mutual friends you can talk to to guage their opinion on the situation if you find it hard to read their signals. This cuts way down on the awkward.

I wouldn't label a guy a player because he asked out more than one woman from a church. But I would if he's just floating from woman to woman to see who will take him.