People who use God as a reason to show they aren't interested

[blackribbon]

If she did said negative things about me in Tagalog and/or Ilocano. Then frankly,I would not have given a Hoover Dam.

Sad, you were called to love her. I am sure you said negative things about her too
. And it was your fault that you didn't learn her language as an evidence of your love. When you marry, two are supposed to become one...and you can't become one if you don't bother to learn important things about your spouse.

 

[JosephZ]

We need to make an attempt to learn others' language(s), to reach out to them. Because they have been reaching out to us. Besides, we are all missionaries. This is not just for our SO.

Usually just a little bit of work to try and enter their world goes a long way--even if it's just learning bonjour, merci a vous, non je parlons pas frances (although the French can be different). Even so, they spent a LOT more time entering your world than you, becoming fluent in English.

This quote comes to mind.

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." -- Nelson Mandela

 

[exitstageright]

Sad, you were called to love her. I am sure you said negative things about her too
. And it was your fault that you didn't learn her language as an evidence of your love. When you marry, two are supposed to become one...and you can't become one if you don't bother to learn important things about your spouse.

You are right, ideally. But,we do not live in an ideal word. When I crossed the Sea of Galilee,twice I crossed the sea in a boat. I did not walk across. Therefore, I am not perfect.

I never smoked,never drank, never smoked weed,and I never took any illegal drugs.Although we had our share of arguments, I never hit her. In that respect. I was a good husband. How many wives wish that their husbands were like me? Maybe that is one reason that married women treat me better than single women. Because ,married women appreciate me.
On a humorous note, I was a good husband. Because, I always left the toilet seat down. I always put my dirty clothes in the hamper. And, I always picked and cleaned up after myself. How many wives can say that about their husbands? Those,were some of the things that the married women,whom I worked with,would complain about their husbands.

 

[blackribbon]

You are right, ideally. But,we do not live in an ideal word. When I crossed the Sea of Galilee,twice I crossed the sea in a boat. I did not walk across. Therefore, I am not perfect.

I never smoked,never drank, never smoked weed,and I never took any illegal drugs.Although we had our share of arguments, I never hit her. In that respect. I was a good husband. How many wives wish that their husbands were like me? Maybe that is one reason that married women treat me better than single women. Because ,married women appreciate me.
On a humorous note, I was a good husband. Because, I always left the toilet seat down. I always put my dirty clothes in the hamper. And, I always picked and cleaned up after myself. How many wives can say that about their husbands? Those,were some of the things that the married women,whom I worked with,would complain about their husbands.

You think a "good husband" is one who doesn't break the law and doesn't abuse...and knows how to pick up after himself? That defines a acceptable roommate ... not even a good roommate....it certainly doesn't define a good husband.

A good husband loves her and learns to love the things she loves. The Christian husband is defined in Eph. It doesn't say anything about reducing her role as his cleaning woman. If he loves her as he loves himself, he will learn her language as well as he knows his own.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

 

[exitstageright]

You think a "good husband" is one who doesn't break the law and doesn't abuse...and knows how to pick up after himself? That defines a acceptable roommate ... not even a good roommate....it certainly doesn't define a good husband.

A good husband loves her and learns to love the things she loves. The Christian husband is defined in Eph. It doesn't say anything about reducing her role as his cleaning woman. If he loves her as he loves himself, he will learn her language as well as he knows his own.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Well....maybe I just never learned how to love. In my family,while growing up,the word "love' was never in anybody's vocabulary.The only time,that I heard those three magic words,"I love you",was when I was watching a TV program,and/or a movie.Therefore,I thought that saying,"I love you",was a work of fiction.

Yes,whenever I did wrong,I received "whoopin's" not spankings. One time,my father had me strip naked. Then, he repeatedly hit me with a belt. Now ,how about that for abuse? Yet,I never killed anyone. I was taught right from wrong.I did not become a serial killer. By the way,when a Black man,such as myself,harms somone due to anger,it is because he is a criminal. If a white man harms someone,because of anger,he is "mentally ill".Well,that is the "burden" that I have learned to live with.
I thank God that I got rid of my anger,and my rage by playing sports,especially by playing football. By me playing football,in High School,I could hit someone legally. Like wise, as an adult,by me playing the villain, in a play,I can be bad,and get away with being bad.
Do you really mean that a husband, who never hits his wife,is not a good husband?

FYI,she admitted that the only reason,that she married me,was to help support her family. Therefore,both of us,were to blame for our failed marriage. Besides,we both had a $150,000 dollar life insurance polices on each other. Have you ever seen any Alfred Hitchcock Stories? Most of those stories were about people murdering their spouse for the insurance money. That was in the days before "irreconcilable differences" were a reason for a divorce.

 

[blackribbon]

Well....maybe I just never learned how to love. In my family,while growing up,the word "love' was never in anybody's vocabulary.The only time,that I heard those three magic words,"I love you",was when I was watching a TV program,and/or a movie.Therefore,I thought that saying,"I love you",was a work of fiction.

Yes,whenever I did wrong,I received "whoopin's" not spankings. One time,my father had me strip naked. Then, he repeatedly hit me with a belt. Now ,how about that for abuse? Yet,I never killed anyone. I was taught right from wrong.I did not become a serial killer. By the way,when a Black man,such as myself,harms somone due to anger,it is because he is a criminal. If a white man harms someone,because of anger,he is "mentally ill".Well,that is the "burden" that I have learned to live with.
I thank God that I got rid of my anger,and my rage by playing sports,especially by playing football. By me playing football,in High School,I could hit someone legally. Like wise, as an adult,by me playing the villain, in a play,I can be bad,and get away with being bad.
Do you really mean that a husband, who never hits his wife,is not a good husband?

FYI,she admitted that the only reason,that she married me,was to help support her family. Therefore,both of us,were to blame for our failed marriage. Besides,we both had a $150,000 dollar life insurance polices on each other. Have you ever seen any Alfred Hitchcock Stories? Most of those stories were about people murdering their spouse for the insurance money. That was in the days before "irreconcilable differences" were a reason for a divorce.

There is so much wrong in what you just wrote...and remember, we are only about 10 years apart so I do recognize BS when you post it. There are plenty of white men in jail for killing their wives and other people so your stuff about the black man is wrong in so many ways. No one with normal intelligence usually gets away with murder based on a mental health claim. And belts were common ways for parents to punish in our generations ... you weren't special in that way. Actual wooden paddles and switches if you lived in the country were also common. And irreconcilable differences were common in the 1970s.

And yes, never hitting a wife does not make a man a "good husband"....it just means he isn't necessarily a physically abusive husband. That is a pretty low bar for a man to shoot for. A man who hits his wife belongs in jail.

I never said your wife was a good wife because I don't know her and have never heard her side. Regardless of her intention, we are each only responsible for our own behavior which means you were called to love her as Christ loves his church...and you don't get to quit loving her for any reason. Having a life insurance policy for your spouse is just a sign of love so that they can bury you and they can heal while trying to learn how to live on one salary. What is sad is that since you mention it, you must have thought about how nice it would have been to cash it in on her.

 

[usexpat97]

FYI,she admitted that the only reason,that she married me,was to help support her family.

A lot of singles are probably better off just not messing with this dating situation to begin with, IMO. I have already admitted, I have dated foreign nationals before. But we were BOTH foreign nationals, we didn't foresee having to live long-distance in our near futures, and we didn't have vastly different income levels/socioeconomic statuses. Even then, sometimes the different nationalities was still what ended it.

 

[exitstageright]

Well....maybe I just never learned how to love. In my family,while growing up,the word "love' was never in anybody's vocabulary.The only time,that I heard those three magic words,"I love you",was when I was watching a TV program,and/or a movie.Therefore,I thought that saying,"I love you",was a work of fiction.

Yes,whenever I did wrong,I received "whoopin's" not spankings. One time,my father had me strip naked. Then, he repeatedly hit me with a belt. Now ,how about that for abuse? Yet,I never killed anyone. I was taught right from wrong.I did not become a serial killer. By the way,when a Black man,such as myself,harms somone due to anger,it is because he is a criminal. If a white man harms someone,because of anger,he is "mentally ill".Well,that is the "burden" that I have learned to live with.
I thank God that I got rid of my anger,and my rage by playing sports,especially by playing football. By me playing football,in High School,I could hit someone legally. Like wise, as an adult,by me playing the villain, in a play,I can be bad,and get away with being bad.
Do you really mean that a husband, who never hits his wife,is not a good husband?

FYI,she admitted that the only reason,that she married me,was to help support her family. Therefore,both of us,were to blame for our failed marriage. Besides,we both had a $150,000 dollar life insurance polices on each other. Have you ever seen any Alfred Hitchcock Stories? Most of those stories were about people murdering their spouse for the insurance money. That was in the days before "irreconcilable differences" were a reason for a divorce.

W

There is so much wrong in what you just wrote...and remember, we are only about 10 years apart so I do recognize BS when you post it. There are plenty of white men in jail for killing their wives and other people so your stuff about the black man is wrong in so many ways. No one with normal intelligence usually gets away with murder based on a mental health claim. And belts were common ways for parents to punish in our generations ... you weren't special in that way. Actual wooden paddles and switches if you lived in the country were also common. And irreconcilable differences were common in the 1970s.

And yes, never hitting a wife does not make a man a "good husband"....it just means he isn't necessarily a physically abusive husband. That is a pretty low bar for a man to shoot for. A man who hits his wife belongs in jail.

I never said your wife was a good wife because I don't know her and have never heard her side. Regardless of her intention, we are each only responsible for our own behavior which means you were called to love her as Christ loves his church...and you don't get to quit loving her for any reason. Having a life insurance policy for your spouse is just a sign of love so that they can bury you and they can heal while trying to learn how to live on one salary. What is sad is that since you mention it, you must have thought about how nice it would have been to cash it in on her.

No,I did not. Why would I want to kill some lady,when it was hard for me to find a lady? That does not make any sense. She may have had the those thoughts about me. Did you ever think of that? Anyway, that is enough about her.

Now, about one getting away with murders.When I took a Constitutional Law Class at San Francisco State University, my Instructior, a black attorney said this ."As a minority and/or as woman, you have the burden of having to be "extra good". Because, you will not get away with a crime, as a white man would". And he was right. He did said this, of course, before the O.J. trail.
Do you remember the Dan White Case in San Francisco, California? Dan White, a white man.sneaked through the window, of City Hall, in order to avoid the metal detector. This was two cold blooded. premeditated murders!
He ,Dan White, murdered(shot) San Francisco Mayor George Moscone, and San Francisco County Supervisor Harvey Milk on Monday, November 27,1978.
Dan White was acquitted(found not guilty). His attorney said that Dan White had a "diminished capacity"
In other words ,he did not know that he was doing anything wrong, because of all of the Hostess Twinkies that he was eating. This was known as "The Twinkie Defense". Now there was no way a Black Man would have gotten away with murdering two people. Do you know that innocent,unarmed Black men are being killed by the police? A guilty Black man has no chance. Therefore,as Black men, we have to control our tempers! Now, you may think that everything, that I wrote is wrong. Well, you are entitled to you thoughts and to your opinions.I cannot change your opinions, since you never agree with me on anything, anyway. (I know,that in relationships,that one is to never say "never".)But, what my Law Instructor and I said about our Judicial System is true. I have told young black men this. "If you think that the Judicial System is unfair to Black men. Then it behooves you to stay out of the system by not doing crimes. I was born poor, and disadvantaged just like you were.. I was not born with a "silver spoon in my mouth."​

 

[blackribbon]

W


No,I did not. Why would I want to kill some lady,when it was hard for me to find a lady? That does not make any sense. She may have had the those thoughts about me. Did you ever think of that? Anyway, that is enough about her.

Now, about one getting away with murders.When I took a Constitutional Law Class at San Francisco State University, my Instructior, a black attorney said this ."As a minority and/or as woman, you have the burden of having to be "extra good". Because, you will not get away with a crime, as a white man would". And he was right. He did said this, of course, before the O.J. trail.
Do you remember the Dan White Case in San Francisco, California? Dan White, a white man.sneaked through the window, of City Hall, in order to avoid the metal detector. This was two cold blooded. premeditated murders!
He ,Dan White, murdered(shot) San Francisco Mayor George Moscone, and San Francisco County Supervisor Harvey Milk on Monday, November 27,1978.
Dan White was acquitted(found not guilty). His attorney said that Dan White had a "diminished capacity"
In other words ,he did not know that he was doing anything wrong, because of all of the Hostess Twinkies that he was eating. This was known as "The Twinkie Defense". Now there was no way a Black Man would have gotten away with murdering two people. Do you know that innocent,unarmed Black men are being killed by the police? A guilty Black man has no chance. Therefore,as Black men, we have to control our tempers! Now, you may think that everything, that I wrote is wrong. Well, you are entitled to you thoughts and to your opinions.I cannot change your opinions, since you never agree with me on anything, anyway. (I know,that in relationships,that one is to never say "never".)But, what my Law Instructor and I said about our Judicial System is true. I have told young black men this. "If you think that the Judicial System is unfair to Black men. Then it behooves you to stay out of the system by not doing crimes. I was born poor, and disadvantaged just like you were.. I was not born with a "silver spoon in my mouth."​

Unarmed, innocent white men have also been killed by police, but the media doesn't cover them. It is rare for innocent people to be killed by the police. Those that are are usually mentally ill and acting aggressive or appear to be on drugs. However, a lot of innocent policemen of all races and both sexes get killed by non-innocent people. And the justice system has changed quite a bit since 1978.

Do you think guilty black men should be set free? I personally don't think guilty people should get off easy regardless of the color of their skin. However, that decision is usually made by a jury and I have to believe that most jurors are trying to come up with the right answer. That doesn't mean that justice is always served though.

 

[exitstageright]

A lot of singles are probably better off just not messing with this dating situation to begin with, IMO. I have already admitted, I have dated foreign nationals before. But we were BOTH foreign nationals, we didn't foresee having to live long-distance in our near futures, and we didn't have vastly different income levels/socioeconomic statuses. Even then, sometimes the different nationalities was still what ended it.

I agree with you. But what is a young man,in this country,is to do? All of his ypung life, girls have called him ugly.One called him an "ugly square".Becuase,he did not smoke,drank,took illegal drugs,and did not even know how to dance.When some American women,of his own race would look at him as if he was something brown ,swishy, and smelly that they just steeped in? When he was in the U.S.Navy,he saw how affectionate the Filipino wives were to their husbands.
No Asian woman has ever called me "ugly," .By the way,white women,Polynesian women ,and girls and women of races,other than my own race,has never called me "ugly" and/or looked at me with disgust, when they saw me. I have empirically derived that Asian women,especially Filipino Women,are more accepting. Even the very pretty Filipino women are very accepting of me. And,I am certainly not one of those "pretty boys"

 

[usexpat97]

We've all made dating mistakes. That's what dating is all about.

 

[exitstageright]

Unarmed, innocent white men have also been killed by police, but the media doesn't cover them. It is rare for innocent people to be killed by the police. Those that are are usually mentally ill and acting aggressive or appear to be on drugs. However, a lot of innocent policemen of all races and both sexes get killed by non-innocent people. And the justice system has changed quite a bit since 1978.

Do you think guilty black men should be set free? I personally don't think guilty people should get off easy regardless of the color of their skin. However, that decision is usually made by a jury and I have to believe that most jurors are trying to come up with the right answer. That doesn't mean that justice is always served though.

Do I think that guilty Black men are to be set free? Of course not,Every guilty person ought to be punished. I am very much aware of good Police Officers getting killed.

Speaking of jurors,I have heard many blacks say that they try their best to get out of Jury Duty. Then these same Black people get upset, when they hear that a black person is found guilty by an all white jury. Well, one cannot have it both ways. If the system is unfair, then participate in the system in order to make the system fair.

When my youngest brother severed on a jury last year,he told the judge, before he was picked to serve,"The system works best,when the participants,the American citizens, are alert and honest." He then told me that the judge liked his statement.
Everytime, I was selected for Jury Duty, I served on a jury. And,if I was going on vacation that particular week, I was always granted a postponement.

Now,I have heard people ,of all races,tell me that they would try all kinds of ways to get out of serving on a jury. I always respond."Well,if us smart people do not get picked to go on a jury,then the knuckleheads are the ones who will be serving on a jury,while making not so smart verdicts."

 

[AllThingsWorkForGood]

But yeah, I tend to get this from Christian women a lot. They use some "Godly" reason to blow you off...where as secular women, all they have to go with are the " I gotta wash my hair.

Sounds to me from this that you are being a bit of a pest to be honest. Do you spend all your time pursuing women? Maybe you need to have some respect for what women tell you and leave them alone.

How about pursuing God and his kingdom first, then when God decides it's the right time and person, He will orchestrate a union for you. But you appear to be behaving like any old bloke and not being true to the faith you claim to have.

 

[AllThingsWorkForGood]

By the way - what on earth is going on in this thread? You are all going so off topic it's absolutely ridiculous. Calm down people.

 

[exitstageright]

By the way - what on earth is going on in this thread? You are all going so off topic it's absolutely ridiculous. Calm down people.

Hi,this usually happens on all threads.Someone will give their opinion , which is a variation on a theme ,or on a thread .Then people put in their "two cents worth" on that variation.

 

[AllThingsWorkForGood]

Ok - maybe it's my UK English but I wasn't actually asking the question. It was more an expression of incredulity at what people were talking about when compared with the poster's original topic.

There is variation on a theme (which is good) and then there is plain divergence and confusion. The latter is never good.

 

[blackribbon]

Do you really think a thread can get to #136 without taking a few side road running parallel to the main one?

 

[AllThingsWorkForGood]

Whatever........YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

[JustSomeBloke]

And it was your fault that you didn't learn her language as an evidence of your love.

Who gets to decide what is an acceptable form of evidence for proving love?

If he had promised to learn her language before they got married, then that should be honored. If not, then presumably she was well aware that he could not speak her language, and had accepted that part of him. For some, learning a language mid-life would be simple, for others it would be akin to asking them to sprout wings and fly. Same applies to pretty much any kind of learning.

Edit: I am reminded of women that I have known who said things like 'If you loved me you would <insert latest demand>'. At best, it grinds the other person down. At worst, it's a form of emotional blackmail.

Why can't we start with 1 Corinthians 13 4-7 as a yardstick for love, and take it from there?

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

[timewerx]

But\, personally...there's some kind bad karma attached to doing this. Yes? (Of course, that's a word that may not be appropriate for these forums. So it was written to form a context and get the point across.

It doesn't seem there is. You might think this is deception. But deception has its meaning, place, and context in the Bible. Not every form of deception is bad.

Consider the possibility you might be coming on too strong with women you just met, influencing them to play safe with you.