Ok I HATE being single!!

[hope_is_last_to_die]

hi Jam and a BIG welcome! Ya the single life isnt fun but thankfully you have two children and they are bless to have you are their mum. A cyber relationship wont be any good to you but maybe you can meet someone in Aussie via cyber-world. What are you doing to find someone?

blessings!!!

 

[jamandcrumpets]

memories & hope - thank you for your welcomes! Yep - some days are harder than others... I have to say joining this forum was a God-send for me... It's a connection and so many more things, but it has perked me up quite a bit already... life as a SP can be very lonely - even though my children are so fun and wonderful, they don't really fill the void a partner can bring. I am on quite a few internet dating sites... trying to find the right fit.... christian men are hard to find! I also run a singles dinner group. I started it about 4 months ago now, and apart from getting out once a month to have a dinner out (love it!), I'm making the most of what I can... but still.... single christian men are hard to find! And then you have to find the one thats right for you.... My prayer is to find a husband, but it is also "God - please take away these feelings of loneliness and help me to be content in this season" I REALLY HATE feeling negative feelings, so I'm hoping God will help me be happy - whatever the outcome! lol...

 

[peacechild4]

memories & hope - thank you for your welcomes! Yep - some days are harder than others... I have to say joining this forum was a God-send for me... It's a connection and so many more things, but it has perked me up quite a bit already... life as a SP can be very lonely - even though my children are so fun and wonderful, they don't really fill the void a partner can bring. I am on quite a few internet dating sites... trying to find the right fit.... christian men are hard to find! I also run a singles dinner group. I started it about 4 months ago now, and apart from getting out once a month to have a dinner out (love it!), I'm making the most of what I can... but still.... single christian men are hard to find! And then you have to find the one thats right for you.... My prayer is to find a husband, but it is also "God - please take away these feelings of loneliness and help me to be content in this season" I REALLY HATE feeling negative feelings, so I'm hoping God will help me be happy - whatever the outcome! lol...

Its a great place.. lol.. most people here are from USA though ha.. I think Aussie christian men are really hard to find especially online..

Best to stay positive.. your dinner groups sound wonderful..

 

[jamandcrumpets]

Thanks Peace Yep I agree about Aussie Christian Men, but at least I'm putting it out there... My dinner group has been a fun thing to do, although I must admit we are a predominately female group! We do have a few males who come and go, and it really is fun to have them at the table - the conversation is so different, and it's a joy to have male companions. Only problem is none of the men are christians either....

 

[peacechild4]

Ohh well I will keep that in prayer for you.. so tell me when things change..

 

[dayhiker]

That's too bad the Christian men aren't out and about. But they are so afraid of being sexual that most just become celibate rather than take the chance of getting out and feeling those sexual desires that the church is usually saying are wrong.

Well, that's how I see it and I've heard that from a few.

 

[jamandcrumpets]

That is such a shame to hear... So many people wishing for love and connection, missing out due to fear... And we all know where fear comes from! (and for any who are in doubt, I am NOT talking about Jesus!) x

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

memories & hope - thank you for your welcomes! Yep - some days are harder than others... I have to say joining this forum was a God-send for me... It's a connection and so many more things, but it has perked me up quite a bit already... life as a SP can be very lonely - even though my children are so fun and wonderful, they don't really fill the void a partner can bring. I am on quite a few internet dating sites... trying to find the right fit.... christian men are hard to find! I also run a singles dinner group. I started it about 4 months ago now, and apart from getting out once a month to have a dinner out (love it!), I'm making the most of what I can... but still.... single christian men are hard to find! And then you have to find the one thats right for you.... My prayer is to find a husband, but it is also "God - please take away these feelings of loneliness and help me to be content in this season" I REALLY HATE feeling negative feelings, so I'm hoping God will help me be happy - whatever the outcome! lol...

thats great that you run a singles dinner group, I wish I could go to one! A while back I heard that Sweden has the least number of Christian men and I thought maybe I should move there to help out!

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

That's too bad the Christian men aren't out and about. But they are so afraid of being sexual that most just become celibate rather than take the chance of getting out and feeling those sexual desires that the church is usually saying are wrong.

Well, that's how I see it and I've heard that from a few.

this is news to me, Ive never heard of this reason. I think most guys are burning and then get tempted with all sorts.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

thats great that you run a singles dinner group, I wish I could go to one! A while back I heard that Sweden has the least number of Christian men and I thought maybe I should move there to help out!

ROFL!

I would like to go to a singles dinner group too! Kind of a long way for me though.

 

[jamandcrumpets]

Ohh well I will keep that in prayer for you.. so tell me when things change..

Will do x

 

[jamandcrumpets]

thats great that you run a singles dinner group, I wish I could go to one! A while back I heard that Sweden has the least number of Christian men and I thought maybe I should move there to help out!

lol, thats so funny, I wonder if they have the lowest number of christian women too though?

I know too many single women... migration to the Central Coast should be at an all time high!! ;0

 

[OGM]

That's too bad the Christian men aren't out and about. But they are so afraid of being sexual that most just become celibate rather than take the chance of getting out and feeling those sexual desires that the church is usually saying are wrong…Well, that's how I see it and I've heard that from a few.

this is news to me, Ive never heard of this reason. I think most guys are burning and then get tempted with all sorts.

Actually there is truth in what both of you are saying. Many modern Christian men are very afraid of feeling and often hate the sexual desires they have. Some try to “pray it away,” Often times the ones that claim to be “burning up the most” and “tempted” are the ones that have little, if any, experience dating…much less asking women out.

 

[jamandcrumpets]

Maybe this is an irresponsible thing to say (???) - but we single women WANT those men feeling the "desires" to head out there and find us and marry us!!! Then we can BOTH use our sexual feelings to good use!!! Woohoo - now wouldn't that be fun! *sigh and shaking head* Boys.....

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Maybe this is an irresponsible thing to say (???) - but we single women WANT those men feeling the "desires" to head out there and find us and marry us!!! Then we can BOTH use our sexual feelings to good use!!! Woohoo - now wouldn't that be fun! *sigh and shaking head* Boys.....

This is true!

 

[peacechild4]

You may not know what your future holds but God does, so relax and enjoy the day! -Joyce Meyer

 

[OGM]

Which is the reason why I wrote:

Actually there is truth in what both of you are saying. Many modern Christian men are very afraid of feeling and often hate the sexual desires they have. Some try to “pray it away,” Often times the ones that claim to be “burning up the most” and “tempted” are the ones that have little, if any, experience dating…much less asking women out.

Maybe this is an irresponsible thing to say (???) - but we single women WANT those men feeling the "desires" to head out there and find us and marry us!!! Then we can BOTH use our sexual feelings to good use!!! Woohoo - now wouldn't that be fun!

What you said is not irresponsible janandcrumpets and things are not as bad as they seem. Why?...Because worldwide, only a small subset of Christians men think like this and most of them have not been taught this.

*sigh and shaking head* Boys.....

Boys?! I would say the Sisters can often have it worse. Some of them:
· Have to take purity pledges as preteens
· Have to wear purity rings
· Are only allowed to court
· Of the ones that date they may not be allowed to be alone with a guy
· Are often hassled about the flirt vs. interest boundary
· May have been told that kissing, holding hands and hugging are sinful
· May have grown up on “Jesus is my Boyfriend’ thinking

Once again this not represent the majority of Christian women…just a subset BTW...NSW is a beautiful State.

 

[jamandcrumpets]

Which is the reason why I wrote:


What you said is not irresponsible janandcrumpets and things are not as bad as they seem. Why?...Because worldwide, only a small subset of Christians men think like this and most of them have not been taught this.

Boys?! I would say the Sisters can often have it worse. Some of them:
· Have to take purity pledges as preteens
· Have to wear purity rings
· Are only allowed to court
· Of the ones that date they may not be allowed to be alone with a guy
· Are often hassled about the flirt vs. interest boundary
· May have been told that kissing, holding hands and hugging are sinful
· May have grown up on “Jesus is my Boyfriend’ thinking

Once again this not represent the majority of Christian women…just a subset BTW...NSW is a beautiful State.

Why Thank you! I think it is too - I love living here! Wouldn't mind a bit more warmth during the winter months though! hahaha (can hardly complain - no snow here where I live!).

As for the other thing.... I DO get your point... and probably a little insensitively ignored that part... I was brought up in a fairly strict, but completely non-christian home and so I do forget what some others must go through... I DO understand barriers from upbringing though and I have my own set of issues, so I sympathise that it can be really hard to break free. Thank God for God is all I can say... Turning to him has, is and does really help to renew the mind and the heart...

I do think that a little courage and a willingness to open your heart could help make the difference though... who knows, maybe there is a girl in your church with the same upbringing and understanding of the trials that will match you perfectly and you can grow in love together?

 

[OGM]

[

Why Thank you! I think it is too - I love living here! Wouldn't mind a bit more warmth during the winter months though! hahaha (can hardly complain - no snow here where I live!).

Well there is always the Northern Territory, hey, Karanda is not too bad this time of year. Then in summer you can always head back to NSW.

As for the other thing.... I DO get your point... and probably a little insensitively ignored that part... I was brought up in a fairly strict, but completely non-christian home and so I do forget what some others must go through... I DO understand barriers from upbringing though and I have my own set of issues, so I sympathise that it can be really hard to break free.

You weren’t insensitive…actually I was illustrating how I felt some of the girls/women had it especially hard in some churches.

I do think that a little courage and a willingness to open your heart could help make the difference though... who knows, maybe there is a girl in your church with the same upbringing and understanding of the trials that will match you perfectly and you can grow in love together?

Fortunately I was not brought up like that. I only really started to become aware of this mindset when I traveled around more. You see the more outrageous something is the more attention is given to hit. Seminars and books that are so extreme get the lion’s share of attention. Interestingly this is pushed hard in the 15-30 year old age group.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

Actually there is truth in what both of you are saying. Many modern Christian men are very afraid of feeling and often hate the sexual desires they have. Some try to “pray it away,” Often times the ones that claim to be “burning up the most” and “tempted” are the ones that have little, if any, experience dating…much less asking women out.

You say many modern Christian men are very afraid of feeling and often hate the sexual desires they have. How do you know this is true? Speaking from my own personal experience I hate being single and this isnt surprising considering God says its not good for a man to be alone. However Im not afraid of feelings and dont hate the God given sexual desires I have. There is frustration that I cant use what God has given me in a loving relationship.

It is my experience that men dont really talk about these issues in the church. Instead one gets patronising comments, like "just wait, God will provide", "God has someone special for you, just wait"....... yeah and Im sure someone written a "just wait" song and dont wanna hear it!!