I found this in another part of CF yesterday, and it made me laugh all day long.
Remember never to split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. Don't use no double negatives. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading... that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. A writer must not shift your point of view. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist the hyperbole. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Remember, too, that a preposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with. The adverb always follows the verb. "Don't overuse 'quotation "marks"' or exclamation points!!!" Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. Place pronouns, especially in long sentences, as of ten or more words, close to their anticedents. Everyone should be careful to use a singular noun with singular pronouns in their writing. Don't string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Always pick on the right idiom. Steer clear of incorrect verb forms that have snuck into the language. Eschew dialect, irregardless. Avoid colloquial stuff. Don't use trendy locutions that sound flaky. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.