OCD is destroying my faith... HELP!

[musicoceanview34]

Also plez feel free to be honest talk to god the way u talk to us so freely. & plezzz ask god to show u God show me who u are be real to me reveal urself to me Oh Lord people say ur Lamb of God? ( John 1:29) Teach me Lord your way plez this person is telling me ur a teacher ( Teacher) John 3:2 i remember when i was strugglin i would ask god to show me if i was doing something tht would cause my behavior u know we attrack people with the same problems. After my healing i & in the process of so many way in other areas of my life god has healed me. God show me wht to do wht i dont suppose to do. i couldnt see it then as clearly as i do now. i would hang around with people tht lost their temper. I did witness to them some did get closer to the Lord those tht didnt tht loved being attached to their temper problem god clearly put it in my mind not to hang around with unbelievers . Tht happened to me. Sometimes God works instantly sometimes its a process. Sometimes its a demon tht people have to fast and pray out of u. Tht happened to me dont give up GOD LOVE U. also there is power in the tongue. Death & Life are in the power of the tongue. proverbs 18:21 bless ur self. might want to change ur name when god touches ur heart of course from worried one to anything positive. Ask god to remind u all the positive blessing all the good things Gods given u to plez put it in ur mind & thank GOd for the positive and thank him for this bad. how? LORD I THANK U FOR THIS BAD SITUATION IM GOING THRU SO I CAN COME CLOSER TO U & & SO LATER ON I CAN BE A WALKING TESTOMONY GLORY TO GOD. AND SO I CAN PERSONALY KNOW U AS MY HEALER AND DELIVER God Loves U

 

[musicoceanview34]

yes but remember god makes a way of escape or gives us the grace to go thru it. So i encourage & dare & urge u to get plugged in to 105.7 fm houston online.or oneplace.com listen to some bible studies. listen to testomonies in unshackle.org to uplift ur faith. thts a small step i took along time ago and has enrich me spiritually. I hope it does the same 4 u. When u read the word of god write it as u read it. Ask God to give u understanding fill u with gods spirit. so u can put more of god in u so God can be bigger then ur ocd try it memorizeAlso make time to get in bible studies with people in person & ask for prayer. Keep praying. dont give up. write this down 1john 4 greater is he tht is in me than he tht is in the world. phillipians 4 13 i can do all things thru christ who strengthens me. im still praying 4 u

 

[kerrysue]

Worried One,
It sounds like OCD to me. Like anonymous said earlier, doubting really has nothing to do with salvation. It is a choice. We doubt because we are human and sinful and because you have OCD the more you worry about doubting the more you will doubt. This is exactly what I did off and on for about 30 years before I realized I had OCD. I agree that you need to keep in God's Word, just read it and soak it in, but don't feel you have to analyze it about whether you think you believe it or not. Just choose to believe whether you feel like it or not, just because you want to. You do want to or you wouldn't be on here asking about it. God made you and he knew you before you were even conceived and he knew you would have a doubting problem (ocd) and we don't understand why but He has a perfect plan for each of us and this is a physical/mental problem. You should probably get to a doctor who has experience in mental health stuff and maybe also counseling from a Christian psychiatrist who deals with ocd. That helped me tremendously. One technique my psych gave me that helped me was that when I got the urge to worry or analyze my doubts/fears I was to tell myself I had to wait until a set time when I was to sit down and actually try to worry about these things. But I could not do it until then. I actually did set a time each day which was to be my quiet time to ponder out and analyze (I had pure mental compulsions doing this) these doubts/worries but I don't think I ever succeeded in even doing that once. If you can waylay that urge it often will pass in just minutes. Though it will come again (for me during the bad times that was really often, maybe every few minutes or at least once or twice an hour) it comes less and less as you don't give in to that desire to ruminate over things. And when the set time comes for you to worry, most of the time you will not even have the desire to do it then and see the ridiculosity of it then. Does that make sense? Just remember too that salvation is God's work, He so desires each of us to be saved, He is doing everything He can to be in fellowship with us, so it is not Him playing games with you to make you want to be saved but not allowing you to. That is the mental sickness, ocd, not you.

Love in HIM and prayers your way--

 

[TheWorriedOne]

Thanks Kerry Sue and Music Ocean
Music Ocean I went to that Oneplace.com and it helped some but then one of the broadcasts or whatever brought another question to my mind they said something like if your seeking spiritually that is God seeking you. Well I'm almost certain I found God do why am I seeking for him still? Am I saved and just trying to get closer to God maybe? Also I think I've said this before but my two biggest fears about this is that one day I'll give in to these doubts and fall away... Then I worry about dying unsure of God's existence and him sending me to hell.

 

[musicoceanview34]

We are always to seek God every day its in our nature we are worshipers. We have a need to worship seek our Creator. The Creation always wants to get closer to our Creator.We have the need to worship God.
To be thankful for the sacrifice @ calvery. Jesus Christ Died on the cross for u & for all of us it was Gods amazing Gift. God is actually wanting u to search the scriptures & get to know ur Creator. I just got thru reading the story of Joseph. I can related so much to him. Im sure we all can relate. The important thing was as i went thru the story i started to know wht God wanted out of me. & how joseph gave so much mercy to his brothers. I was holding a grudge against my brothers i ask God immidiately to take tht grudge out of me & give me love for my brothers.
U see the scriptures the bible there to help us. We cry when we read gods word cuz god heals us. I Laughed when josephs brothers got scared said god was punishing them cuz joseph blessed them with money. Again i can related cuz when i make a mistake repent & i get a blessing sometimes im like whts is this. is this a set up i dont deserve this blessing i can related to brothers tht i forget God forgives us. So it was soooo funny. U get joy out of it. if anyone out there was like me reading bible here & there im gona let u guys know i was missing out big time. Now i read the whole story so i can understand & related & the scriptures help me alot. I can see how god is sooo amazing covict me to repent. To heal relatiionships. To make us a better people in christ. To give us mercy love towards others. I think when we read the bible pray god to reveal to us his will and read it God helps us heals us more & more
Please dont think for one minute tht people dont go thru this. Specially in tough times. We tend to doubt hear & there but just rebuke it in Jesus Christ Name it will go away. Ask God to show u if u are in the right medication to lead u to a good christian counsolor. I had ask god before to lead me to a good christian counsolor. & one was provided @ the church for me for free. & helped me alot. U cant go to hell if u ask Jesus Christ to be ur Lord & savior. I have to say it again U can not go to hell if u ask Jesus Christ to be ur Lord & savior. Tht just the enemy attacking u. Use this scripture it will scare the enemy away 1 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given me the spirit of fear but of Power & Love & Sound Mind Please hold on to this scripture read it write memorize it when u get attack say it out loud. Im gona give u a quick testamony i just moved closer to the beach to relax. & i started hearing noises & footsteps. I prayed & asked God Lord wht is going on i cant afford to move cuz i just spend most of my money moving here. I dont want these weird noises to make me move. Well again my friend ask me to her bible studies. & the woman tht was giving the bible study was talking about hearing noises in her house. No i told noone just prayed. I was scared of wht people might think. So i told no one. the lady explained how she got the olive oil prayed over it Lord bless this oil in jesus christ name. & she prayed all over her house she explained how when she hear a noise she get up & prayed over the house. I did the same thing., I heard a huge noise near my bed i turn around said out loud for god not given me the spirit of fear but of a sound mind in Jesus christ name. i would get up pray anoint pray 4 my home. & it finally stopped. I know it not the same. cuz ur fighting in ur mind. but plezzz belive me tht when i had the temper problem i was fighting in my mind too. I ask god to lead me to my healing & god causes a way of escape. & trust me i wanted to be on medication when i had my temper problem & yes some people have too stay on medication I praise god i dont. im out of that situation but it brought me closer to god. I asked god do u want me to get on medication wht ever u want lead me to my healing. Being on medication heals also. Its just a routin of takin a pills to help u deal with life there is no shame in tht. Thts the way i prayed i asked God. So which ever way god directs u u are going to be okay

 

[TheWorriedOne]

Thank you so this OCD can't lead me away from God and also it's like I'm constantly thinking about god I mean I love God but I don't wanna just think about him that does get tiring if you get what I'm saying I'm trying to finds happy medium and think about God but not constantly. But I feel like I have to or I'll fall away what should I do?

 

[raven1]

I thought we were not to ask for signs because it shows no trust.

 

[musicoceanview34]

if u go to loveworthfinding.org on top rite is search box put in Joy he can explain it better than me. that happyness comes from whats happening. We need the joy of the Lord cuz tht even in the book of james count it all joy in trial & tribulations.
& when i said show me means direct me Oh Lord. So we do Gods will not ours. When we pray we talk to God when We Read the Word Of God . God Talks To Us. When God talks to Us God tells us directs us (shows) us wht to do It is a neccessary to keep communicating with our Lord. The greatest thing already happened the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ in the cross. So why bother asking for signs & wonders we are all sure The Lord died on the cross for us. Its as simple as this any dad loves communicating with his kids Our Lord Loves us Loves communicating with us. Mathew 4:4 it is written man shall not live by bread alone but every word tht proceeds from the mouth of God.U guys have a bless nite

 

[kerrysue]

Worried One and Raven,
I relate with so many things you both express from my 20 + years of those almost exact worries. I have actually been amazed reading your letters to realize how very much religious ocd does have specific "symptoms". And now that I have been almost completely "free" after good Biblical, psychological counseling and medication for 3 years, it brings back to my memory all those same twisted, very real, frightening patterns of thinking and I feel for you both so very much. But I want you to find relief and the sweet relationship with the Lord that I found and just the peace and joy---it is possible, there is hope!! I am a living testimony to that...

Ok, all that said, I will tell you that for me the Lord directed me to a Christian family doctor that happened to be experienced/specializing in mental illnesses/disorders and she recognized and diagnosed ocd. I then went on medication and after a few months of trying to find one that worked for me, I started to truly be able to put aside the horrible ruminating/analyzing and at the same time I started to see a Christian/Biblical psychiatrist. What can a person like that do for you? I thought the same thing--it is different than a regular counselor for behavior/emotional problems in some ways as you have a physical (mental) problem mixed in with emotional and spiritual. So I felt that the counselor I saw mostly helped in that it was somebody knowledgeable I could express my "weird" fears/thoughts to that could tell me if they were normal or ocd. She also gave me tips on how to handle the fears/urges to worry and she used Scripture to back things, yet realized there was a physical part involved. She even prayed with me and it was just a "safe" or "understanding" environment for me to explain and grieve my years of stress/worry/struggle. I do remember even while going to her at times thinking it was not doing any good as the whole process took some months but looking back I can see how God was slowly healing me all through those 8 months or so. (That's the time it was from diagnosis to completely done with counseling, seeing my doctor, etc). I can only give God the glory for helping me through these various ones and praise Him greatly!

Ok, I hope my story here helps each of you find help. KerrySue

 

[TheWorriedOne]

Hey KerrySue your story does help. What would you do to stop your doubts? Did you ever feel like you were on the verge of believing them? How would you stop yourself from believing them?

 

[kerrysue]

Worried One,
Yes, I did doubt to where I felt I did not believe. I guess I pretty much always lived under this huge cloud of doubt but then had a part of me underneath it that felt it believed and once in a while would break out and I would feel relief and joy and peace. But those were just rare minutes of time before the cloud would descend again. The more I "tried" to not doubt or believe, the worse it got. That is why I cannot answer what to do to help to not doubt. The more you try not to, the more you are going to do it! That is the what OCD is---your brain is spinning on that subject and it won't help you to try not to doubt. Ask the Lord to guide you to a doctor where you can get the medical end of things helped and I really think it would all come together then for you.

Praying, KerrySue

 

[TheWorriedOne]

Wow that's exactly what happens to me except I try to believe for several hours and I eventually get one of those rare minutes. I feel so much better God Bless you Kerry Sue!!!!

 

[fealty77]

Wow. I went through this same exact thing! It started around the end of August and went on for months, but it seemed like years. I am finally over it, but it was not easy, and still is not sometimes. If you ever need to talk just send me a pm and we can talk. I am actually now closer to God than I ever was and have a will to grow in Him without the panick stricken fears that I had started out with. I still have my anxieties, but I am at so much more peace now and am mainly dealing with depression now...mixed with anxiety. I hope you get through this!

 

[fealty77]

And I also wanted to tell you, just from my experience and now that look back on my obsessions about not believing God is real or the bible is true or even if Jesus was not just some made-up man, that when I read the bible, bible studies, christian articles or even theological books/speakers on how to know that all of this is real, it actually made my OCD worse. I would go looking for answers everywhere as to why I thought these things and the only thing it did was bring up more questions and fears and it just kept going in circles. I'm not saying you can't read anything like that, but I would recommend not reading that stuff for reassurance until you can get through this. My therapist who specializes in OCD actually told me not to read stuff for reassurance or constantly pray until my anxieties went down, then he gave me homework to do (which scared me to death at first). And now that my OCD on that subject is finally over (for the majority of the part) I can look back and see how true it was. The less I searched for answers & reassurance the better I got. I would definitley recommend finding a therapist or counselor who deals with OCD. Because even now that that subject of OCD has been conquered I still have other subjects to work through along with my depression and anxieties. I just hope this helps and you understand what I'm saying. Sorry you are going through this

 

[TheWorriedOne]

Thank you Today I'm really confused though because everything was going great and then I got attacked with all these thoughts saying God isn't real and it seems like I believe them I can't stop thinking about this... I want to make myself believe...

 

[fealty77]

I was there too. My mind kept telling me, "you want to be an atheist, it will just be easier that way, what if..." I hated it. It was all day every day. And it was so bad sometimes I actually thought I wanted to go along with it, even when it scared me. But I have had different OCD themes and another one that scared me was freaking out that I might be a pedophile. Ooh, I hated that, but my mind and thoughts were so anxious with the fears that I was one that it almost made me think I really was one and I was going to molest my babies and have to call the police and then i would just have to go to jail, etc, etc...but that's how OCD works. It tries to make you believe you are something you are not. It takes your biggest fears and focuses on them and makes you think it might be true. That is why my therapist made me do homework that would raise my anxieties then take them back down and eventually they stopped. It was a proccess, but it works.

 

[fealty77]

And I just thought about it, but I hope my story doesn't spike anything in you. So sorry if it does...

 

[TheWorriedOne]

That's what my mind sort Of tells me and It's okay it's nice to know that someone had the exact same thing it reassures me this is JUST OCD. Would you feel "normal" and like you believed in God if you didn't think about the thoughts?

 

[fealty77]

I actually have gotten through the OCD on that subject and now I know in my heart that I believe in God. I feel a lot more normal now, but I still ocassionally have the thoughts come up. It spikes a slight bit of anxiety but I don't obsess over it like I used to so it goes really fast and the thought honestly isn't even in the front of my mind anymore if it does come up.

 

[TheWorriedOne]

This is starting to drive me nuts! My mind keeps doubting God's existence. I feel like giving up I'm so tired of this I keep having thoughts saying things like "Religion is nothing but B.S." I need help!