No trust in the church singles population either

[Richard T]

As I read through the threads, "a woman that is not my type." I just wanted to clarify something. If she does not want to follow the bible, ie..no work, that should be a deal breaker. Does not want monogamy = deal breaker, does not want to give offerings = deal breaker.
However, if someone thinks for instance a woman is too outgoing, too quiet, the wrong weight, etc then to say it is not your type might be correct for your flesh but in the spirit, you might be missing a great opportunity. The iron sharpens iron scenario sometimes means you will get someone where you make each other better. Seems to me to love someone you can change your preferences. Our preferences are not always reality based anyway and their is no way to know all the differences that women or men can have in personality and looks. When you gain experience you learn to like new things. As such we should not dismiss potential mates too easily. Shallow Hal is a great movie for this sentiment.
I think too that one just needs faith in God. Couples come in all kinds of variations. If it can happen for someone else, it can happen for you. I still like the idea of God giving some signs though. Before I met my fiance, I remember thinking that I should lower my height requirement. I think it was God preparing my heart because soon thereafter I met my fiance who is just 5 feet tall. Since then I think I was just ignorant. If i may misquote a scripture technically, I would say that "potential marriages fail for a lack of knowledge." They perish because our hearts are not open wide enough.
Also, I do still think God assists people to find mates. Yes, any Christian can have faith for God to help. For instance, I had one friend who had a skilled factory job with good wages. He was gong to pass up on a short-term ministry opportunity because he did not want to quit his job. However as the deadline approached, at work he accidentally damaged some expensive equipment and was fired. To this day he credits God with that assist because when he went on that ministry trip, he met his wife. 40 years later, with 6 kids and a extremely lucrative job, that seemingly career setback was the best thing that ever happened to him. I saw a preacher once that met his wife after he had a car accident with her. I think if you did a poll, many would agree that God got involved in their early encounters. Many of the marriage failures too might admit that they had some serious warning signs that they ignored. IK am not saying that God forces anyone to marry, that is biblical extremely rare. However, I wholeheartedly think that God facilitates chances for those that are seeking.

 

[bèlla]

The solution is clear: those men need to find Christian wives from outside the church, preferably younger and prettier than the women there who have this attitude.

Why does he get the nod over the one who ticks her boxes she's talking to elsewhere? If you want a pretty woman who loves the Lord you have a better chance at school when the options are fewer. Once she hits the dating pool it's harder because she'll meet her ideal and its difficult to compete with him.

There's a connection between beauty and masculinity. The more attractive a woman is the more she gravitates towards that type. They like men who communicate strength in their bearing and person. You don't typically see them with sensitive types or those with quiet strength. She wants a little steel.

In my experience they're less tolerant of emotionalism than others and view weakness more negatively than most. That's why some end up with bad boys. They're not attracted to his behavior. They're drawn to his strength.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

Yes,it is possible to see "Jesus" in non believers. I have experienced that some non-believers have not lied to me, have treated me with respect, and I have felt at peace dealing with them. While some "Christian women" have lied to me. Jesus does not lie. The Bible even states, "God cannot lie" Numbers 23:19 and Hebrews 6:18 If you have been going to church for as long as I have, you have probably met some people who are meaner than some non-church goers. There is not a perfect church. We all have our flaws.
As far as someone wanting to have sex with is concerned, is that not the goal of every male animal on this planet? As males, we have about 10 times the testosterone levels as the average woman has. The testosterone hormone is the hormone that causes sexual desires. I am a scientist who knows that. Knowing about human blood levels is what I do for a living. I get paid six figures because I have my California Clinical (Medical ) Laboratory License. Therefore,I know what I am talking about.

Don't hold Christians up to a higher standard than unbelievers or you'll just be disappointed.

I'm not saying Christians are evil. But only saying Christians are still people. People who have weaknesses, easily deceived, have all sorts of problems.

I agree I have observed Godlier behavior among some unbelievers than Christians. Even climate scientists are unknowingly promoting the lifestyle teachings of Jesus such as abstinence, forgoing indulgences because they believe it is the key to start the healing of our planet, of the land and they would be right according to the Bible.

 

[exitstageright]

Why does he get the nod over the one who ticks her boxes she's talking to elsewhere? If you want a pretty woman who loves the Lord you have a better chance at school when the options are fewer. Once she hits the dating pool it's harder because she'll meet her ideal and its difficult to compete with him.

There's a connection between beauty and masculinity. The more attractive a woman is the more she gravitates towards that type. They like men who communicate strength in their bearing and person. You don't typically see them with sensitive types or those with quiet strength. She wants a little steel.

In my experience they're less tolerant of emotionalism than others and view weakness more negatively than most. That's why some end up with bad boys. They're not attracted to his behavior. They're drawn to his strength.

~bella

As an analogy, most young women are attracted to "Superman", the man of steel. But, after they marry him, they want to change him into "Clark Kent" For example they want to change him into a "yes dear" man. But, one never sees Clark Kent and Superman in the same room at the same time.

 

[bèlla]

As an analogy, most young women are attracted to "Superman", the man of steel. But, after they marry him, they want to change him into "Clark Kent" For example they want to change him into a "yes dear" man. But, one never sees Clark Kent and Superman in the same room at the same time.

Henpecked men don't usually have attractive wives. Pretty women aren't into control. They want security and spoiling. The women who try to control their men are usually mids. They snare him through faux sweetness or premarital wifely behavior she siphons away once she has him.

I can tell a woman's attractiveness by the way she writes and I've mentored a lot. Women who never mention physical attraction from a man's perspective should be avoided. No woman who meets the male aesthetic is talking about body positivity or calling men shallow. She needs to push away from the table.

Women who've never been a man's ideal have a different mentality and there's a hint of resentment because she wasn't the dream girl and changing him is a way of getting back. They're very insecure and heaven help you if you notice an attractive woman in her presence.

Changing your man is insensible to me. You get the one you want and work together. He isn't a project or legos. You approach him with respect for what he's done and accomplishing for you both. But I don't believe in inequitable pairings. In my experience women without means are more entitled and focused on the coin they can't earn. But once you take money off the table everything's gravy.

Relationships are better when both have skin in the game and that isn't emotional. If she's not bringing income she should come with investments or inheritance. Women like that aren't blowing up their marriages and asking for half.

~bella

 

[DragonFox91]

@bella I'm surprised you mentor so much. In my experience people don't want to be mentored. They think they know everything. & most are willing to fail & try again on their own. They see being mentored as a weakness or a cut to their pride. Many pursue their passions which tend to be their strengths, & so things come easy for them. They want to be the mentors. There's little time for being mentored when you can mentor yourself. "Being a mentor boosts your resume, being mentored doesn't." Many are also stuck in their ways: they aren't even willing to accept their is a problem & they need to be mentored. Maybe it's different in conservative Christian circles - the liberal world ain't interested in it.

 

[bèlla]

@bella I'm surprised you mentor so much. In my experience people don't want to be mentored. They think they know everything. & most are willing to fail & try again on their own. They see being mentored as a weakness or a cut to their pride. Many pursue their passions which tend to be their strengths, & so things come easy for them. They want to be the mentors. There's little time for being mentored when you can mentor yourself. "Being a mentor boosts your resume, being mentored doesn't." Many are also stuck in their ways: they aren't even willing to accept their is a problem & they need to be mentored. Maybe it's different in conservative Christian circles - the liberal world ain't interested in it.

The last woman I mentored was a 21 year old Brazilian virgin who aligned herself with the wrong man. She was exquisite and I wish I'd met her before he did. She was built for marriage and my greatest regret. He destroyed her by making her one of three. I wanted to bring her home and protect her but I couldn't. He had her head and I'd have to break her to change it. That isn't something you undertake without consent.

I don't mentor christian women. The majority hold ideals about the opposite sex that are contrary to their betterment. Few have escaped the influence of feminism and I don't try to change them. I don't have a burden for them and I'm more likely to help men instead.

~bella