If you are part of a ministry team that cares for people, and you are aware of someone having a struggle that you should report, and they tell you that they have not talked to any of the leaders - and are thinking of changing churches ... but they won't talk to you any further knowing you are on this team - and you know they don't want you to talk to the leaders. What the heck do you do? I understand why the leaders stick together a bit ... avoids conflict of interest!
Need thoughts here ...
- Thread starter Praising4eva
- Start date
Your first obligation is to the person you are counseling. I have met so many people deeply hurt because confidentiality was breached, especially by pastors and church leaders.
That can get you really offside with many pastors. Such is the price of integrity. But you will never hear about the real depths of some issues unless and until real trust has been developed.
John
NZ
That can get you really offside with many pastors. Such is the price of integrity. But you will never hear about the real depths of some issues unless and until real trust has been developed.
John
NZ
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This is not counselling related. That would have made it easy
And I've been on the receiving end of confidentiality breaches so know how that feels. I have the tightest confidentiality in the whole church. But this isn't counselling related ... but it is related to the care team. I have more than one role
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live4grace
Senior Member
What's the nature of the struggle? Are they in some sin or just dealing with issues of faith? Changing churches sounds like it's a reaction to something the leadership said or did, so IMHO that person does not belong in a ministry under those people; it's a hypocritical work at best.
This person *owes* the leadership the courtesy of discussing things as a member of the family of God, and if he/she thinks things will be different somewhere else, he/she will find out that's not true. So .. I'd confront this person with his/her attitudes and put him/her on a period of a few days to do the communicating necessary or else the ministry work cannot continue because it's compromising your whole ministry team.
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Forget the church roles and committee assignments. This person is hurting and does not wish to discuss it with anyone in leadership. They have every nright not to do so, and to expect that what they shared with you to remain between the two of you. This person owes the leadership nothing - they exist to serve her.
This may not be a formal counseling relationship, but you should treat it as same if she spoke to you alone.
This may not be a formal counseling relationship, but you should treat it as same if she spoke to you alone.
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B
BrBob
Guest
Bliz is right. It's the person's own business.
That being said, you are a counselor at least part of the time and you know the rules of the game. If a person has violated laws involving some sort of abuse then you are a mandatory reporter, but not to leadership of the church, to the law. If this doesn't apply, Bliz' post does.
Bob
Spearfish, SD
That being said, you are a counselor at least part of the time and you know the rules of the game. If a person has violated laws involving some sort of abuse then you are a mandatory reporter, but not to leadership of the church, to the law. If this doesn't apply, Bliz' post does.
Bob
Spearfish, SD
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I've been leaning the way you guys are thinking... it's really the context I was told it in that makes it not clear cut. I think what I'm going to do is gently remind the person what the biblical way of handling offenses is ... and they can decide what to do there.
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live4grace
Senior Member
This sounds like good diplomacy. You didn't share what the offense was and depending upon that, the "right thing to do" is radically different.
But .. I gotta say some of the attitudes towards leadership expressed herein are detrimental to the Body of Christ at large. It's like the golden rule went away when there's a leader involved.
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