Please help me make sense out of this..

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

I'm not innocent I play equal parts of the toxic marriage BUT I truly did my best to change and make it work. I pray and pray for God to help fix the marriage but instead my ex was granted success that he used that to sin. God gave him power to use against me. He abandon me at my lowest for another girl so that way I won't be healthy to fight him in the divorce. I let it go. I accepted whatever. I thought God will fight this for me and I'll get beauty for my ashes. I did my part, went back to school, applied for jobs, tried to meet new people. But all failed! On the other hand, my ex was getting promoted, getting his master, and enjoying the life we built with his mistress. and even as petty as superbowl. His team is the 49ers so he must be in heaven knowing they are playing this year.

Everything is going right for him. He got everything he ever wanted after he abandon me and left me to die. Why is God rubbing this on my face? Why am I the only one getting punish? It seems like he prepared a table for my ex infront of me. I don't care if he is blessing my ex and giving him grace but why isn't he doing the same for me but instead all I'm getting are failures. I'm also doing my best but doesn't seem like God is on my side. Makes me think he favors my ex and that what my ex did was the right thing to abandon his sick wife and dog and to let them be homeless. He wanted us to die. I don't understand why God is giving my ex everything.

 

[SheyOreo]

I'm so sorry you're suffering like this, especially that feeling that God blesses your ex and not you. Since you want to make sense of it, it could be that God wants you to learn something. What about your ex? What if he's not a real child of God that's why he doesn't get disciplined? God only disciplines his children. But it doesn't mean that your ex will not reap what he sow. He also will receive the consequences of what he has done. He might repent later on when he experience the consequences of his deeds.

Also, the amount of worldly treasures like promotion, pleasures, these are not a sole basis as signs of God's blessings but it's more spiritual. You may not be gaining what you're expecting out of all the things you're doing because it might give you a false sense that success means I'm mature spiritually. God wants to direct your attention to spiritual things such as being close to him, seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness. His goal is for you to grow more spiritually and that in result will give you peace, joy, and contentment regardless of any situation.

I want to share these verses with you and I hope you find encouragement to seek God more and put him first and he's gonna take care of the rest.

Hebrews 12:5-13 KJV
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: [6] For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. [7] If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? [8] But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. [9] Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? [10] For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. [11] Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. [12] Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; [13] And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I'm not innocent I play equal parts of the toxic marriage BUT I truly did my best to change and make it work. I pray and pray for God to help fix the marriage but instead my ex was granted success that he used that to sin. God gave him power to use against me. He abandon me at my lowest for another girl so that way I won't be healthy to fight him in the divorce. I let it go. I accepted whatever. I thought God will fight this for me and I'll get beauty for my ashes. I did my part, went back to school, applied for jobs, tried to meet new people. But all failed! On the other hand, my ex was getting promoted, getting his master, and enjoying the life we built with his mistress. and even as petty as superbowl. His team is the 49ers so he must be in heaven knowing they are playing this year.

Everything is going right for him. He got everything he ever wanted after he abandon me and left me to die. Why is God rubbing this on my face? Why am I the only one getting punish? It seems like he prepared a table for my ex infront of me. I don't care if he is blessing my ex and giving him grace but why isn't he doing the same for me but instead all I'm getting are failures. I'm also doing my best but doesn't seem like God is on my side. Makes me think he favors my ex and that what my ex did was the right thing to abandon his sick wife and dog and to let them be homeless. He wanted us to die. I don't understand why God is giving my ex everything.

Yet the niners lost. Move on and don't look back.
Blessings

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

Yet the niners lost. Move on and don't look back.
Blessings

That's your response? I'm actually asking for real godly advice. Are you even a Christian ?

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

I'm so sorry you're suffering like this, especially that feeling that God blesses your ex and not you. Since you want to make sense of it, it could be that God wants you to learn something. What about your ex? What if he's not a real child of God that's why he doesn't get disciplined? God only disciplines his children. But it doesn't mean that your ex will not reap what he sow. He also will receive the consequences of what he has done. He might repent later on when he experience the consequences of his deeds.

Also, the amount of worldly treasures like promotion, pleasures, these are not a sole basis as signs of God's blessings but it's more spiritual. You may not be gaining what you're expecting out of all the things you're doing because it might give you a false sense that success means I'm mature spiritually. God wants to direct your attention to spiritual things such as being close to him, seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness. His goal is for you to grow more spiritually and that in result will give you peace, joy, and contentment regardless of any situation.

I want to share these verses with you and I hope you find encouragement to seek God more and put him first and he's gonna take care of the rest.

Hebrews 12:5-13 KJV
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: [6] For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. [7] If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? [8] But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. [9] Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? [10] For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. [11] Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. [12] Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; [13] And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

Ty so much. May God bless you.

 

[com7fy8]

The beauty for ashes can be in us >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

So first we seek to be pleasing to God, and encouraged because He is pleased with us. Then handle the impossible things, with Him satisfying and guiding us.

And you will see what He has you seeing.

"He who loves his life will lose it," Jesus says in John 12:25. Your ex has lost love, which possibly he never really had. Now you can get with God in His own love's "gentle and quiet spirit" which God Himself values so much, and which is so more than worldly and evil people can take away from you . . . or give you in their self-seeking ways of loving.

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" Jesus Himself says, in Matthew 5:46.

And with God we can help any evil person, through prayer and good example.

So, forgiving is very important, in order to get into this. Feed on how Jesus on the cross prayed >

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (in Luke 23:34)

Read what happened to David > 1 Samuel 30. Raiders took away their wives and children. They were crying until they could not cry any more. Then the guys were talking about stoning David. Perhaps he had been wrong, leaving their families unguarded while the guys did military parading away from their home city. So, he could have been asking for that trouble and perhaps God was against him and so trying to rescue their families could get really messy and much worse if God was not with them.

But what worked?

Not crying.

Not blaming and stoning.

Not guilt-tripping himself, even.

But David got with God and simply trusted Him about it, then made sure with God about what to do.

I have had various losses, impossible people who wreck themselves right in front of me and refuse my help. What does God have me do? Pray with hope for any person.

And be ready for love.

And the love has me ready for whomever I discover is able to love. It can be a moment in the store, but it is quality not quantity.

Stay ready by not arguing or complaining or being unforgiving. So we share with God and are ready for whomever He does have for us.

And we are ready to help those who do not know how to love.

 

[Richard T]

Just yesterday i heard someone talk about "diamond seeds." The term was used for Christians who plant coal and over time that coal turns to diamonds. Now I don't think your turnaround will take that long; could be victory is just around the corner. What is important is where is your faith now? Can you see God helping and moving on you along at all? Are you pulling up the seed too soon, almost throwing in the towel? I would try to have more assurance from God especially by hearing from him directly.
I think too that your comparing is not constructive. I'd praise God that he is merciful and is giving your ex time. At some point if not already he will suffer. Best to just leave that with God, sometimes justice is served after death anyway. I would just think about what is it from the word of God that I can believe in? Start meditating that and your turnaround will come sooner than you think.
I have some experience in this. I thank God for no "rebounds" but instead looked for new vision and a greater trust in God. It took a couple of years but I am so much better off. God is in the blessing you personally business. He wants to see you smile, laugh and progress further than you can dream. Give up the pain of the past to him, let him prepare you anew, let yourself hope and turn that to faith where you become so aware of what God is going to do. God bless!

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

The beauty for ashes can be in us >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

So first we seek to be pleasing to God, and encouraged because He is pleased with us. Then handle the impossible things, with Him satisfying and guiding us.

And you will see what He has you seeing.

"He who loves his life will lose it," Jesus says in John 12:25. Your ex has lost love, which possibly he never really had. Now you can get with God in His own love's "gentle and quiet spirit" which God Himself values so much, and which is so more than worldly and evil people can take away from you . . . or give you in their self-seeking ways of loving.

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" Jesus Himself says, in Matthew 5:46.

And with God we can help any evil person, through prayer and good example.

So, forgiving is very important, in order to get into this. Feed on how Jesus on the cross prayed >

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (in Luke 23:34)

Read what happened to David > 1 Samuel 30. Raiders took away their wives and children. They were crying until they could not cry any more. Then the guys were talking about stoning David. Perhaps he had been wrong, leaving their families unguarded while the guys did military parading away from their home city. So, he could have been asking for that trouble and perhaps God was against him and so trying to rescue their families could get really messy and much worse if God was not with them.

But what worked?

Not crying.

Not blaming and stoning.

Not guilt-tripping himself, even.

But David got with God and simply trusted Him about it, then made sure with God about what to do.

I have had various losses, impossible people who wreck themselves right in front of me and refuse my help. What does God have me do? Pray with hope for any person.

And be ready for love.

And the love has me ready for whomever I discover is able to love. It can be a moment in the store, but it is quality not quantity.

Stay ready by not arguing or complaining or being unforgiving. So we share with God and are ready for whomever He does have for us.

And we are ready to help those who do not know how to love.

Ty for your comment

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

Just yesterday i heard someone talk about "diamond seeds." The term was used for Christians who plant coal and over time that coal turns to diamonds. Now I don't think your turnaround will take that long; could be victory is just around the corner. What is important is where is your faith now? Can you see God helping and moving on you along at all? Are you pulling up the seed too soon, almost throwing in the towel? I would try to have more assurance from God especially by hearing from him directly.
I think too that your comparing is not constructive. I'd praise God that he is merciful and is giving your ex time. At some point if not already he will suffer. Best to just leave that with God, sometimes justice is served after death anyway. I would just think about what is it from the word of God that I can believe in? Start meditating that and your turnaround will come sooner than you think.
I have some experience in this. I thank God for no "rebounds" but instead looked for new vision and a greater trust in God. It took a couple of years but I am so much better off. God is in the blessing you personally business. He wants to see you smile, laugh and progress further than you can dream. Give up the pain of the past to him, let him prepare you anew, let yourself hope and turn that to faith where you become so aware of what God is going to do. God bless!

Ty, I appreciate this. And you're right I need to stop comparing.

 

[Curiousmind]

Job 21:7-17 “Why do the wicked prosper, growing old and powerful? They live to see their children grow up and settle down, and they enjoy their grandchildren. Their homes are safe from every fear, and God does no | New Living Translation (NLT) | Down

“Why do the wicked prosper, growing old and powerful? They live to see their children grow up and settle down, and they enjoy their grandchildren. Their homes are safe from every fear, and God does no

www.bible.com

 

[Curiousmind]

Job 21 NLT

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

Job 21 NLT

The book of JOB have always made me question God. Why would he need to test him if JOB did no wrong in the eyes of God?

 

[Curiousmind]

The book of JOB have always made me question God. Why would he need to test him if JOB did no wrong in the eyes of God?

I think the answer is at the end when God answered Job, I think the answer is we don't have to know, we must learn to trust God like how Job trusted God.

 

[Curiousmind]

The book of JOB have always made me question God. Why would he need to test him if JOB did no wrong in the eyes of God?

Yes suffering is hard sometimes, I think we should pray to God for strength and endurance, to stay in the faith, we should not be like Job's wife, Job's wife wanted Job to curse God and then die.

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

Yes suffering is hard sometimes, I think we should pray to God for strength and endurance, to stay in the faith, we should not be like Job's wife, Job's wife wanted Job to curse God and then die.

Thanks for reminding me this. God bless you

 

[com7fy8]

The book of JOB have always made me question God. Why would he need to test him if JOB did no wrong in the eyes of God?

I notice how Job said he repented in sackcloth and ashes . . . when he saw Jesus.

While he was with the men, he could justify himself in comparison with them, maybe, and in comparison with what he knew was right.

But when it was time to answer to Jesus . . . seeing how Jesus is so good and right and beautifully wonderful and kind and compassionate . . . I think he could see his character was not like he needed to become, in comparison with Jesus.

And so, we need to first answer to God, while we go through very bad or very nice things, seeking Him to change us how He pleases.

Right now, what do You please to do with me . . . and with all of us, please, God our Father?

 

[TPop]

I'm not innocent I play equal parts of the toxic marriage BUT I truly did my best to change and make it work. I pray and pray for God to help fix the marriage but instead my ex was granted success that he used that to sin. God gave him power to use against me. He abandon me at my lowest for another girl so that way I won't be healthy to fight him in the divorce. I let it go. I accepted whatever. I thought God will fight this for me and I'll get beauty for my ashes. I did my part, went back to school, applied for jobs, tried to meet new people. But all failed! On the other hand, my ex was getting promoted, getting his master, and enjoying the life we built with his mistress. and even as petty as superbowl. His team is the 49ers so he must be in heaven knowing they are playing this year.

Everything is going right for him. He got everything he ever wanted after he abandon me and left me to die. Why is God rubbing this on my face? Why am I the only one getting punish? It seems like he prepared a table for my ex infront of me. I don't care if he is blessing my ex and giving him grace but why isn't he doing the same for me but instead all I'm getting are failures. I'm also doing my best but doesn't seem like God is on my side. Makes me think he favors my ex and that what my ex did was the right thing to abandon his sick wife and dog and to let them be homeless. He wanted us to die. I don't understand why God is giving my ex everything.

Hello my friend! I can sympathize with you.

Do Not fight God over whom, how, and when he rains on them. He does it to the Just and the Unjust alike. That is Not your business. That is Not your focus.

Do Not covet your husband's life, fun, property, etc. It may be that this is all he ever gets. This may be the best his life and afterlife ever is. This is Not the best your life will ever hold for you. You have Glory waiting for you!

Be respectful for what God allows. Take care of yourself, your Fellowship with God, ask for forgiveness in your part, in your feelings, in your attitude and work to change them. Above all. Love your husband! Because that is a command from God. Yea. All this stuff is Easy preachin' Hard living. But you can do it. And you will prosper in doing so.

Make your life simple. Church, Scripture, work, food, shelter, health. Simplify it down.

Read Kings I, Kings II, Hosea for an uplift in your circumstances by reading about the evilness the Jews performed. Then acknowledge that you are no better than they are. That's what I did.

Anger and Hatred will only harm you. It sucks to hear that. We know that. But we still want to hate and not forgive. But you have got to work to a point where you can forgive him. You don't have to forget. You don't have to be lied to or tricked. You give that person no trust unless they start building trust.

But you forgive. Or your own fellowship with God suffers. And that may be what you are experiencing now.

Peace and Blessings

 

[TPop]

Yet the niners lost. Move on and don't look back.
Blessings

Yea. I would just delete that.
Put yourself in their shoes.

Peace and Blessings

 

[TPop]

That's your response? I'm actually asking for real godly advice. Are you even a Christian ?

Don't lash out. Just ignore.
Our 7 year old daughter was killed in front of us.
You can only imagine the stupid things people say...

Also. Some people are delayed in their ability to empathise.
My wife is a Social Worker. Was working in an ER. Kid came in with Brain Bruse riding go-cart down the street, no helmet, ramed under a car. Nurses could only focus on the 'stupid' aspect. People say things because they don't think it can happen to them, or they don't believe they would never be Not In control. So they control their world by saying stupid things. Just ignore. And forgive them.

Peace and Blessings

 

[TPop]

The book of JOB have always made me question God. Why would he need to test him if JOB did no wrong in the eyes of God?

Because Jesus is Sovereign and can use His children for wonderful things.
Because trials bring wisdom.
And we can call upon the Grace of Jesus to help us.
Turn towards Jesus. Not away from.

Peace and Blessings