My questions

[Goodbook]

People have different holiday traditions. For example, my family likes to decorate gingerbread houses. My husband's family does not.

So...wouldnt you be starting your own family and making your own tradtions?

 

[Goodbook]

Again, in my case there were no female doc options. It's a downside of living in the middle of nowhere.

Curious now where is the middle of nowhere? Why are you living there?!

 

[Jane_Doe]

So...wouldnt you be starting your own family and making your own tradtions?

That's what you do. But existent traditions are generally things you enjoying doing would like to continue doing. For example, I think gingerbread houses are a lot of fun- I had a great time doing them as a kid and would like to continue doing them with my kids.

 

[Goodbook]

With the gingerbread houses, maybe you could decorate them and your husband could do the sheds or garage.
Or you could do the insides and he can do the outsides. Dont know. ive never done gingerbread houses.

 

[Goodbook]

Well what tradtions does your husband want to carry on. Just combine them.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Curious now where is the middle of nowhere? Why are you living there?!

Wyoming USA. It's a town of 30,000 so there are things available (like they do have OBGYNs) but they are all male. At the time the nearest female doc was 120+ km away, and the roads aren't always travel-able.

 

[Goodbook]

In my family cant really think of any holiday tradtions. We werent really a tradtional family. Just did whatever.

 

[Jane_Doe]

With the gingerbread houses, maybe you could decorate them and your husband could do the sheds or garage.
Or you could do the insides and he can do the outsides. Dont know. ive never done gingerbread houses.

What you are proposing here is an example of a compromise

 

[Goodbook]

Hmm. Cant imagine how making a gingerbread house would cause trouble..your husband can just learn to do it from you.

 

[ValleyGal]

You don't have to experience childbirth in order to be a medical doctor experienced in the medical aspects of it. In fact, until recently, most OBGYNs have been male. There is all sorts of research out there... experience is not research. They know the conditions, how to diagnose, implications, and treatments. I'll bet your primary care provider has not experienced all his or her patients might have. And an oncologist does not have to experience cancer in order to be an expert in cancer.

As for marrying within culture, I believe that the verse "do not be unequally yoked" is much farther-reaching than just the couple's faith. In fact, social psychology studies show that for most people, "birds of a feather flock together" is more true than "opposites attract." Opposites attract for a little while, but do not make good lifelong partners, which could be part of the reason there are so many divorces. The more alike you are to start with - culture, class, race, education, family type/structure, parenting styles, patterns of thinking, etc... those are all part of being equally yoked.

If you think of "the two will become one" - it refers to a process of becoming one. The more "one" you are to start with, the easier and shorter the path to really becoming one is. But if you start at opposite ends of the spectrum, it is that much more challenging and further a couple has to travel in order to become one. If you start on the same page, much easier. If you're not even in the same book, it's hard to get on the same page.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Hmm. Cant imagine how making a gingerbread house would cause trouble..your husband can just learn to do it from you.

It's not trouble. Just an example of a holiday tradition we've compromised on.

 

[Goodbook]

Is it not fun for your husband to do gingerbread houses? Just cos he never did them? Would he rather do something else.

Things involving baking, I dont think men really do anyway. Are your children both boys and girls or just girls?

 

[Goodbook]

It's not trouble. Just an example of a holiday tradition we've compromised on.

So...does your husband do the sheds and garage. What does he do? Or is he just not involved.

 

[Jane_Doe]

So...does your husband do the sheds and garage. What does he do? Or is he just not involved.

He'll just do random parts, depending on what he feels like. Or some years we just don't do them.

 

[Goodbook]

I suppose a tradition is something you just do every single year. I cant think of any that my family does other than meet up for a meal.

Children had to make their own fun, adults never really played with us when we were little. I ask my dad to play scrabble with me but its not like a tradition...

 

[Goodbook]

Wyoming is that in the midwest? Was your husband livng there and you moved to be with him or you just were living in two sepearate towns and decided to set up house in the middle?

 

[Goodbook]

Sounds a bit like little house on the prairie...

 

[Goodbook]

How do you make a Gingerbread house?

Im not sure ive ever seen a recipe for one. Is it a german tradtion..like Hansel and Gretel.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Wyoming is that in the midwest? Was your husband livng there and you moved to be with him or you just were living in two sepearate towns and decided to set up house in the middle?

We met in a different city, got married, and then moved here for my job.

Sounds a bit like little house on the prairie...

Lol. Little House on the Prairie did have internet

How do you make a Gingerbread house?

Im not sure ive ever seen a recipe for one. Is it a german tradtion..like Hansel and Gretel.

Google to the rescue! In the US you can also just buy the house and then decorate it how you like.

 

[Goodbook]

Hmm for my holidays, that i remember..i enjoyed going carolling so thats what I would continue to do if was married.