Hi Messenger,
Don't get down on yourself. Pray that God will use you in these last days, without worrying what people think. Not everyone is going to accept everything we do and say. You might not believe this, but I never even had the desire to write, and I'm a terrible typer with one finger. I hated computers even, but look at me now. I'm doing all that stuff I used to hate, go figure huh?? I believe that God is going to raise up a lot of mis-fits like me in these last days, and you may be one too. I remember a few years ago. I was driving our church bus every Sunday morning, picking up little chilren for sunday school. I drove that bus for about 3 or 4 years. That was all I did for our church, because I was on the mid-night shift. Most other things didn't fit my schedule. I kept asking the Lord though, " Lord is there anything else you want me to do?" He never answered that question, but one day, my Pastor decided to change our Sunday school hours, from Sunday morning to Wednesday Evening. There went that job. Now no-one drives that bus. I was still witnessing at work, but that didn't seem like it was enough. Then my bible study class was learning about the gifts of the spirit, and that God gave all his believers these gifts. I never knew what my gift was. So I started asking the Lord to reveal my gift to me, so I could use it for His Glory. It seemed like forever, but I never heard an answer. Then after 9-11, this gift just seems to have come out of nowhere, and I never had touched or wanted to touch a computer, but, that was part of the deal. I never was good at speaking in public, so I knew I would never be a preacher. When God showed me that first message, I was wondering very hard why He would show me, instead of someone who could relay that message to a large audience. I had no way to do that, but He did. And here I am, doing what I once hated, but I don't hate it anymore. I guess the best thing that I could tell you, is be willing to move When He calls, don't doubt. Hang in there and know that He has a place for you, and a plan. See ya