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Meaning of Due Benevolence

mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
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You are her (Sarah's) daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

But....we are to be "wise as serpents" and be sober and alert.......right? As our enemy (not our husbands) prowls like a roaring lion...is that not true?
 
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mkgal1

His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33
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Sure we do, but is our husband the enemy? Usually not!
How do you think that our enemy does his destroying of lives....marriages...etc? In Nehemiah 4:9 ...two guards are mentioned. They are praying for the "weak spots"....IMO...it takes BOTH spouses in marriage to have that attitude against sin. It isn't always so.

The Two Guards, Praying and Watching
 
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Psalm63

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A divorce would do untold harm to our children, two of which have already been through a parental divorce. The other child - ours - would have to choose which parent he would live with. I cannot imagine, for one moment, visiting that decision upon that child and destroying his innocent trust in us. So, no divorce.

Read the whole post and enjoyed every minute JaneFW. Powerful testimony!

I clipped out the above because I was just thinking yesterday (while attempting to minister to another young lady whose marriage appears to be headed for divorce and she doesn't have children) how the children are quite literally "one flesh" of mine AND my husband and how divorce does "rend them asunder" in many ways.

I know for myself, there was a huge part of me that wanted to dump a really bad painful marriage and enjoy life, but the Lord laid on my heart that the children's best interest was more important than my happiness.
 
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hijklmnop

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Free will doesnt mean we have reign to do whatever we want without consequences either. A woman can choose to be unsubmissive to her husband, but she'll be held accountable to God for her actions just as an unloving hubsand will be held accountable to God.

No, it means we have reign to do what we want WITH consequences. I have experienced consequences of ignoring my own inner voice (the Holy Spirit) and God-given instincts in favour of the easier legality of doing what my husband says...and I've learned the hard way that that is not always RIGHT...for either of us OR our children. God knows where my heart is at and I believe I'll be judged fairly. :)
 
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hijklmnop

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Submission is an attitude of the heart first and foremost. It doesn't require a long conversation with a spouse. I wouldnt expect my husband to say "Hey, im gonna start being loving". I'd rather him just show it. Same goes for women, just make the change and see how God blesses the marriage even further.

Moulding our lifestyle around one particular Scripture nearly ended our marriage. Our marriage has been blessed beyond our belief since we changed our view of certain Scriptures.
 
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hijklmnop

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Was Moses a demi-God? Was Abraham? Were the judges of Israel? Was Paul? No certainly not, but yet when the idea of submission to husbands is suggested, its a huge deal.

Because in order to submit as you're describing it, you have to trust that your h's "word from God", direction from God, is correct. Why bother praying or listening for God's voice in non-sin issues if your h is the one God will speak to accurately anyways? It puts him in a place closer to God than his wife. It's not right IMO. It's flawed theology IMO. It's like each wife having her own mini-prophet to follow. And what if her husband is a "false" prophet? Where does that leave her? Why, obligated to follow a false prophet so she doesn't sin.
 
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hijklmnop

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Right. And how many scriptures are there in the Bible? And do all of us conform to every single one of them? I have my serious doubts that we do. Unless/until you do, you have no right to lecture anyone else that they are not keeping to God's standards.

I'm going to start several threads a day asking people if they ever wear mixed fibers, and then question how they feel they're going to hold up on Judgement Day if they do. Doesn't that sound like fun? :cool:
 
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Psalm63

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When you say this is unbiblical, what do you base it on? What scripture do you have in mind?

I certainly believe that both husband and wife should seek to please each other. I Corinthians 7 states that they do. If a man loves the Lord and loves his wife, he should have some respect for his wife's desires. A lot of these decisions, like going to medical school, are things a couple really needs to pray about and let the Lord guide them on. It is not just a matter of our own desires. Medical school takes years out of your life and could send you in a different direction from where you would go otherwise.

But let's say I think if a man tells his wife she can't go to medical school, the man is being overbearing and controling. So if the wife in this scenario asked me for advice, what should I tell her? I should tell her to submit to her husband. That is what the Bible says. Even if a husband does not obey the word, his Christian wife is still supposed to submit to him. She is supposed to have the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. She is to be like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. As you pointed out, Sarah obeyed Abraham when it got her married off to a foreign king. Abimelech took her into his harem, apparently, but hadn't had a chance to sleep with her.

So what can a wife do if her husband is being controlling and not considerate of her desires? She can pray. God is her defender. Does that sound unfair? Does it sound hopeless? No, we have a mighty God who listens to the prayers of the saints. God took care of Sarah. He didn't let the king sleep with her. He struck the household with illness and barrenness and gave the king a dream. Sarah left unscathed. Peter taught wives to submit to their husbands like Sarah, whose daughters ye are if ye do well and are not afraid with any amazement. Women should not be afraid to submit to their husbands.

If a woman has a dream to go to medical school and it is really a big deal for her, it could be she just has a dream or desire that she is holding on too much and needs to surrender it to the Lord. It could be her husband's resistance is something the Lord is using to help her come to a point where she can do this. If she has a child while in medical school, who will take care of the child? Medical school involves an insane amount of hours, not just schooling, but residency afterward.

If I were talking to a man who was I thought was being overbearing towards his wife, controling her, and not letting her fulfill her dreams, I might encourage him to seek to please his wife. Even if he isn't a very good husband though, that does not negate the wife's obligation to submit to Christ by submitting to her husband.

Not going to medical school or majoring in tax law instead of some other kind of law is not the same thing as the husband shaking a little baby hard every night. It is not the same as when an army of 500 men is about to come and kill your husband if you don't feed them. It is not the same as your husband trying to get you to smoke crack and rob a bank. There are extenuating circumstances in life where a woman may be faced with "Do I obey my husband or obey this other command from the Lord"--with as submissive attitude toward her husband as possible.

My wife didn't want me to learn to ride a motorcylce in Jakarta traffic (where those lines on the road mean very little and where if someone wants to turn you cut them off and don't ever let them in). I gave in to her request. If I died or were injured, that would hurt her, and she cares about my safety. I don't want her to worry. I love my wife, and it is right that I should love her and seek to please her as my wife.

I am in graduate school and have been for a number of years. I believed this is what the Lord wanted me to do, and my wife also prayed and before we made moves to each of the schools, we were both in agreement that we believed these were the schools the Lord wanted us to go to. I want my wife to be on board on these decisions. Though my wife hears God on all kinds of things, I got direction on these decisions first. I would pray for the Lord to tell her before I mentioned it to her, but I had to offer the leadership and start moving in the direction first, and then she would pray and get confirmations about it. It wasn't a war between us, though. We were seeking God's will.

I used to believe and practice what you are advocating here.

Did it for 22 years, and it about killed me inside, LinkH

Then I started confronting God with His promises.
"YOU said your yoke is easy and Your burden is light! I am not finding it so"

I had to dump a lot of bad theology about marriage and my husband being "the leader" who had "final decision making authority" over everything in my life. It didn't start out as him controlling my every move, but its like the frog in the kettle.... It became progressively more and more oppressive over the course of 2 decades until it felt like I was living in a concentration camp and I could not bear it anymore....

So, anyway, not sure if it will work long term for you or not, but I had to scrap it and go back and dig deeper with God and scripture.

AND BTW, my husband still believes YOUR WAY. How will
you feel and what you will do if your wife someday rejects the "party line" on wife submission, and starts making decisions that rock your world?

galations+5.jpg
 
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Psalm63

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See the thing is, for families, for nations, for morality - God does have a standard. It's not every man for himself and to each his own. Scriptures even warn against that attitude multiple times when you see the mention of "And they did what was right in their own eyes" verses "They did right in the sight of the Lord".

Perhaps you have an exceptionally mature husband who will never abuse nor misuse the unilateral power that you give him when you follow such theology?

Unfortunately many husbands- mine included- are not mature enough not to abuse such power to do "what is right in their own eyes".

So, I had to take back the power/authority I had surrendered to him and exercise my authority as the oikedespot. Many a time during his days of insanity I told him, "You are free to choose your own pathway, but as for ME and MY household, WE WILL serve the LORD!"
 
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mkgal1

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dallasapple

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"No man is gonna tell ME what to do!" Sounds like a teenager (rebellious) attitude when put that way doesnt it? Not that of a meek and quiet spirit. I feel a strong distaste when I sense this attitude among Christian women.

"I want her to talk to me like Im her leader!"..sounds like a spoiled 5 year old attitude when you put it that way doesnt it?Not of an humble servant leader whom people willingly follow...I feel a strong distaste when I sense this attitude among Crhistian men.

Dallas
 
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Created2Write

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"No man is gonna tell ME what to do!" Sounds like a teenager (rebellious) attitude when put that way doesnt it? Not that of a meek and quiet spirit. I feel a strong distaste when I sense this attitude among Christian women.

Yet another VERY good post!
 
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Created2Write

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Free will doesnt mean we have reign to do whatever we want without consequences either. A woman can choose to be unsubmissive to her husband, but she'll be held accountable to God for her actions just as an unloving hubsand will be held accountable to God.

You are on a roll! :clap:
 
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Created2Write

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Why is everyone always concerned what is and isnt a salvational issue? I mean once we're saved haven't we graduated to a better question: "Does this please the Lord and am I carrying out His instructions?"

This is the crux of it, right here. LOVE the way you worded this.
 
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