Marrying a Non-Christian Woman

[W2L]

Thank you for simple truth and clarity.

Notice Yhwh NEVER tells people to date around, to try the fish, (so to speak),
nor
(believe it or not) for a believer to marry someone they fall in love with just because they fall in love with them. (this might be clarified later)...

Just to be clear, my comments about fishing had nothing to do with "fishing around".

In the scriptures, God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute. God doesn't always do things the way we might expect.

Its possible that an unbeliever can be converted inside a mixed marriage. We are not God and cannot say what such a marriage would be like. I see no scripture which says its a sin to marry an unbeliever. I don't endorse it ir or condemn it. I'm not God, and I try to stay within the scope of scripture.

1 Co:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

 

[W2L]

Irrelevant. Two believers committing the sin of divorce does not excuse another believer from the sin of marrying outside the faith.

What makes you think its a sin?

1 Co:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Just to be clear, my comments about fishing had nothing to do with "fishing around".

No worries there, but thanks for clarifying in case someone else didn't know.

I was referring to the worldwide carnal practice of people who aren't brought up in the right way.

 

[paul1149]

Paul says its ok to be married to an unbeliever. He says the children are holy in such a marriage. Think of it another way. What if the unbeliever married another unbeliever instead of a believer? Their children would not hear any of the Gospel at all.

The scripture about being unequally yoked, its not talking about marriage.

I am not endorsing a mixed marriage, I'm just saying that we cannot know the outcome, and we are not looking at all angles of the issue, and we are not applying scripture properly either.

Paul says it's ok for a Christian to remain married to a non-Christian, not to marry one.

IMV, unequally yoked applies to everything. Either we're in fellowship or we're in ministry, and to confuse the two leads to disaster.

I agree, we cannot know how things will turn out. The things that are hidden are God's; the things revealed are our responsibility.

 

[Sketcher]

What makes you think its a sin?

1 Co:14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

That's for people who are already married, most likely meant for couples where one converted after the wedding but the other had not yet. Whenever the New Testament even approaches answering the question of "Can I marry an unbeliever?" the instructions always emphasize marrying a believer:

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." - 1 Cor 7:39

"Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas?" - 1 Cor 9:5

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Paul says it's ok for a Christian to remain married to a non-Christian, not to marry one.

While I think this is correct (from Scripture),
I have noticed in thousands of churches (literally) all across the usa, canada, mexico and around the world
very few people practice this. (whether they believe it or not).
In fact, very few people (worldwide, percentagewise anywhere)
think God's Word is even worth reading,
and from 'appearances' at least not very many 'Christians' bother to read it to know and do what Jesus says to do.
Disobedience is much much much more widespread than obedience to the Creator Himself.

 

[W2L]

Paul says it's ok for a Christian to remain married to a non-Christian, not to marry one.

IMV, unequally yoked applies to everything. Either we're in fellowship or we're in ministry, and to confuse the two leads to disaster.

I agree, we cannot know how things will turn out. The things that are hidden are God's; the things revealed are our responsibility.

Unequally yoked does apply to everything, but its not referring to marriage specifically, otherwise it would be calling for divorce, i.e, "come out from among them and touch not the unclean thing" however we know that the believing spouse sanctifies the marriage and therefore its not unclean. Also, as I said before, we don't know how these things will play out. The unbelieving spouse could become a believer, and not to mention that the unbeliever is not married to another unbeliever which would be worse because the children would have two unbelieving parents as apposed to only one. So which is better? Having one unbelieving parent or two?

We have absolutely no scripture to suggest this type of marriage is sin, and we have absolutely no way of knowing how it would play out either. So we are merely speculating and calling it sound doctrine. That's just wrong.

 

[W2L]

That's for people who are already married, most likely meant for couples where one converted after the wedding but the other had not yet. Whenever the New Testament even approaches answering the question of "Can I marry an unbeliever?" the instructions always emphasize marrying a believer:

"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." - 1 Cor 7:39

"Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas?" - 1 Cor 9:5

None of those scriptures, besides 1 Co 9, refers to marrying a believer. A woman is bound to even her unbelieving husband as long as he stays in the marriage. Naturally an apostle would marry a believing wife because his whole life is dedicated to the Lords service and the wife would as well. However, none of these scriptures say marrying an unbeliever is sin. That is just speculation.

 

[W2L]

You can say its probably unwise to marry an unbeliever, but you cant say its a sin.

 

[Sketcher]

None of those scriptures, besides 1 Co 9, refers to marrying a believer.

Did you miss 1 Corinthians 7:39, or did you ignore it? "He must belong to the Lord."

A woman is bound to even her unbelieving husband as long as he stays in the marriage.

This doesn't contradict me.

Naturally an apostle would marry a believing wife because his whole life is dedicated to the Lords service and the wife would as well.

That's what every Christian is called to, "apostle" is just a special role meaning they are sent out, such as vocational evangelists.

 

[W2L]

Did you miss 1 Corinthians 7:39, or did you ignore it? "He must belong to the Lord."


This doesn't contradict me.


That's what every Christian is called to, "apostle" is just a special role meaning they are sent out, such as vocational evangelists.

Actually yes, I did miss that. Thanks for showing me. I disagree with the apostle thing though, paul asks "are all apostles?" (1 Co 12.) He says there are different gifts and God distributes the m according to his will.

 

[AmericanSamurai]

You can say its probably unwise to marry an unbeliever, but you cant say its a sin.

Disobedience to any of God's commands/precepts IS a sin.

 

[W2L]

Disobedience to any of God's commands/precepts IS a sin.

If you can prove it is a command.

 

[AmericanSamurai]

If you can prove it is a command.

It depends on how you value God's Word.

 

[W2L]

It depends on how you value God's Word.

Myself I wouldn't want to marry an unbeliever unless I really loved her, and I thought she might be open to learning about the Lord. I would surely prefer a believer. Look, I just try to stay within scripture. I could be wrong, and I admit that Paul seems to urge marriage between believers, but I'm just not convinced its a sin to marry an unbeliever. So far I haven't seen any scripture that would prove it to me. However, there seems to be enough scripture to suggest that its better to marry a believer.

 

[AmericanSamurai]

So far I haven't seen any scripture that would prove it to me. However, there seems to be enough scripture to suggest that its better to marry a believer.

2 Cor.6:14 What problem do you have with this verse?

 

[Sketcher]

Actually yes, I did miss that. Thanks for showing me. I disagree with the apostle thing though, paul asks "are all apostles?" (1 Co 12.) He says there are different gifts and God distributes the m according to his will.

My claim is not that all are apostles, but that we all are to be held to the same high standard of living and devotion. Being an apostle has more of a focus on what to do specifically, but those who are gifted/called to do other things (which covers everybody) need to be just as holy and devoted. Interesting that you said an apostle needs a believing wife, if he is going to have a wife - given what Paul said in 1 Cor. 7:32-34 about marriage being a distraction, it only makes sense to marry another Christian. The spouse's devotion should help yours, and vice versa. Otherwise, you will get distracted with the concerns of this world.

 

[Catherineanne]

How are you going to raise them Christian if their mother doesn't believe that Jesus is God? Going to church on Sunday isn't what makes a person Christian. It is how you live and what you believe on Monday through Saturday that form your beliefs. And if she is not modeling Christian living but rather showing them there are alternative ways to God, the children are going to learn more from her unbelief than they will from sitting on hour in a Sunday school class. Also, how conflicted are they going to be when they realize that their father's belief teaches that their beloved mother is going to hell to be forever separated from them. If she is a "good woman", she is going to be the evidence that puts doubt in their Christian belief system.

Also, you are not realizing because she can't realize it at this point...how much the birth process affects your belief process. Many young women suddenly realize how important their faith is when they get pregnant and give birth. This is normal. If she suddenly changes her mind after the babies come and spends time teaching her beliefs (and she will if she really believes them), it won't be because she lied but rather she grew up a little bit more and learned something deep about herself.

The young lady is open to learning and willing to marry in a Christian church, with a Christian service. She is at the start of her journey, not the end.

I hope she encounters people who welcome her with open arms. And that she does not ever read this thread; the impression given of our faith in some parts is not the most edifying.

 

[Catherineanne]

Where did Catherine say to talk to a pastor? I actually thought she didn't. I must have missed one of her posts

More than one, in fact.

I pretty well always tell people to talk to their minister when offering advice. The internet can only do so much; we all need real people.

 

[Catherineanne]

I love how I just asked a simple question and it turns into this once saved, always saved debate.

Personally, I don't think of God as an "indian giver" that takes and gives salvation over and over again. I do believe in once saved, always saved. I believe if you're truly saved, you will want to do right.

But I'm not going to debate that. I'm tired of the debate where each side can pull an equal number of verses to support each other. If you believe you slip up and are damned for all eternity, then have at it.

I've gotten my answers. So I'm done. Thanks.

Go in peace, Unmedicated.