Marrying a Non-Christian Woman

[Unmedicated]

Hello.

My finacee is a Buddhist and is very open minded about my Christian faith. I really love this woman a lot. I can't help who I fall in love with.

Anyways, we were talking about how to raise the children (since it's a big deal). I told her I wanted to raise them Christian, and she didn't have a problem with that. However, she told me that she wanted them to be old enough to make their own minds up about things, and that she wanted to teach them about her belief in Buddhism.

Is there anyway to find the happy median? She's already told me that she doesn't mind them being raised Christian, but that she doesn't want me to force them into anything. For them to hear both sides of this and then decide for themselves when they are old enough to do so.

I never want to force my children to do anything, since I know saving grace is up to God. I was forced into Christianity and it made me a pretty bitter teenager. I came back, of course, but I don't want my children to go down the same road.

Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks and God bless.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Moses said essentially:

Obey God, and the command will keep you from harm, it will be for your good.

You can not marry an unbeliever and say that you are being obedient to God. The bible says:

The new testament makes it clear, you are not to marry an unbeliever:

2Co 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

The old Testament in many places states you can not intermarry with unbelievers.

Exo 34:15-16 So see that you make no agreement with the people of the land, and do not go after their gods, or take part in their offerings, or be guests at their feasts, Or take their daughters for your sons; for when their daughters give worship before their gods, they will make your sons take part with them.

You can't take fire to your bosom and not be burned.

 

[DawnStar]

On the other hand
1 Corinthians 7:12-13New International Version (NIV)
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

My dad is a believer and my mother is not. They have been married for 34 years and still going strong. My dad knew my mother was not a Christian when he married her. You decide. Do not let those who have a low opinion of unbelievers sway you from what you believe God has in store for you.

 

[John Davidson]

Any advice or thoughts?

Don't marry a non-Christian.

 

[Unmedicated]

On the other hand
1 Corinthians 7:12-13New International Version (NIV)
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

My dad is a believer and my mother is not. They have been married for 34 years and still going strong. My dad knew my mother was not a Christian when he married her. You decide. Do not let those who have a low opinion of unbelievers sway you from what you believe God has in store for you.

Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to see comments like this instead of just judgemental ones. I understand what The Bible says about non-believers and marriage, however, I also don't think it's very Christian to just leave her and break it all off over this. I think judgemental and clannish churches do more harm to believers who are trying to live up to their extreme expectations.

I just wanted some advice about the children.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to see comments like this instead of just judgemental ones. I understand what The Bible says about non-believers and marriage, however, I also don't think it's very Christian to just leave her and break it all off over this. I think judgemental and clannish churches do more harm to believers who are trying to live up to their extreme expectations.

I just wanted some advice about the children.

I feel a bit of anger in my Spirit. You are denying the written word of God for your own fleshly feelings. Putting her before God. Stop it. You want to hear it is ok, but it is not. That verse refers to people who were married BEFORE coming to Christ.

It is not judgmental it is the Word of God, now live by it.

 

[godsgurl25]

I feel a bit of anger in my Spirit. You are denying the written word of God for your own fleshly feelings. Putting her before God. Stop it. You want to hear it is ok, but it is not. That verse refers to people who were married BEFORE coming to Christ.

It is not judgmental it is the Word of God, now live by it.

Hello.

My finacee is a Buddhist and is very open minded about my Christian faith. I really love this woman a lot. I can't help who I fall in love with.

Anyways, we were talking about how to raise the children (since it's a big deal). I told her I wanted to raise them Christian, and she didn't have a problem with that. However, she told me that she wanted them to be old enough to make their own minds up about things, and that she wanted to teach them about her belief in Buddhism.

Is there anyway to find the happy median? She's already told me that she doesn't mind them being raised Christian, but that she doesn't want me to force them into anything. For them to hear both sides of this and then decide for themselves when they are old enough to do so.

I never want to force my children to do anything, since I know saving grace is up to God. I was forced into Christianity and it made me a pretty bitter teenager. I came back, of course, but I don't want my children to go down the same road.

Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks and God bless.

You will have to pray and seek God. Perhaps you are asking for reassurance because you know in your spirit it is not right. Speaking as someone who has been in a long term relationship with someone of different faith, it only brought me down and when it comes to other non-children related issues, you will find similar issues of whether or not to side with her faith versus your own. Praying that God reveals this to you, God bless.

 

[Unmedicated]

I feel a bit of anger in my Spirit. You are denying the written word of God for your own fleshly feelings. Putting her before God. Stop it. You want to hear it is ok, but it is not. That verse refers to people who were married BEFORE coming to Christ.

It is not judgmental it is the Word of God, now live by it.

I guess you missed the part where I said she was open minded about it. Mainly because she comes from a country where Christianity is not that well known. Me taking this opportunity to show her the light of Christ to me is a lot more Christian than saying "so long, we don't have the same beliefs. Hit the road." Yeah. That'll leave a good impression of Christianity on her.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I guess you missed the part where I said she was open minded about it. Mainly because she comes from a country where Christianity is not that well known. Me taking this opportunity to show her the light of Christ to me is a lot more Christian than saying "so long, we don't have the same beliefs. Hit the road." Yeah. That'll leave a good impression of Christianity on her.

Taking God's road, has got more of a chance of leading her to Christ, than breaking God's commands. By you stating you can't marry, may make her see a need for Christ.

 

[Unmedicated]

Taking God's road, has got more of a chance of leading her to Christ, than breaking God's commands. By you stating you can't marry, may make her see a need for Christ.

Yes, of course. I understand this. She is curious about Christianity. She said we could be married in a Christian church so it has given me a lot of hope that perhaps she will come around to it. She doesn't know much about Christ because her family and home country is mainly Buddhist. Since Buddhism really is more of a philosophy than a religion, I am hoping that being with me and when we do have children, raising them in the church, will make her come around.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

If you love her as much as you say, then you should connect her with a nice christian woman who can talk to her about the bible and the Lord. If she is truly interested in learning about the christian faith she will be willing to seek out answers with a christian woman.
Friendship not romance can be the thing that continues onward...it is possible because I've had that type of relationship with a former old flame who wasn't saved, we didn't part company, we continued on as friends and remained so until he died three years ago. (He remained the same and went onto marry another unbeliever and I went onto to marry a Christian man that I love very much.)

 

[Sketcher]

Don't marry an unbeliever. Ideally, she would convert, you two would get married, and it would all work out well. Ideally.

I guess you missed the part where I said she was open minded about it. Mainly because she comes from a country where Christianity is not that well known. Me taking this opportunity to show her the light of Christ to me is a lot more Christian than saying "so long, we don't have the same beliefs. Hit the road." Yeah. That'll leave a good impression of Christianity on her.

Understood, but why is she your fiance at this point in time?

If she doesn't convert, how will she feel about giving money to the church? How will she feel about teaching your kids the exclusivity of the Gospel? Or, let's say the Holy Spirit calls you to do something out of the box (like go on a mission trip, short term or long). How will she feel about that?

 

[Sketcher]

Yes, of course. I understand this. She is curious about Christianity. She said we could be married in a Christian church so it has given me a lot of hope that perhaps she will come around to it. She doesn't know much about Christ because her family and home country is mainly Buddhist. Since Buddhism really is more of a philosophy than a religion, I am hoping that being with me and when we do have children, raising them in the church, will make her come around.

So, an Eastern country. Family ties and family culture are very strong in those families. I don't know what her family does about their ancestors, but some of those customs are flat-out idolatry. If the children are to be raised as Christians, they mustn't take part in such customs. How will she feel about that? And how much influence will her parents have on these children? When you marry a person, you marry into that person's family.

 

[tturt]

No doubt beforehand we think we're going to be able to work out things when they happen.

Some possibilities:
If you want to discuss Yahweh or a Scripture with that special someone and they aren't at a place where they understand. In fact, over time she hinks you reading The Bible is a waste of time. Or you want to spend time in church while she's got a conflict in schedule at her religious home. What's going to be on your mind and heart if your children decide to be Buddhist? Or Yahweh wants you to spend extra time involved in the church or spreading the gospel? What about the times you're to give money to a church, ministry, homeless shelter - where He directs and she had plans for it?

 

[High Fidelity]

Don't marry a non-Christian.

In short, this.

It will not work as God intends. You will not be able to fulfil your duties to each other as set out in Scripture and you will be doing a disservice to the spiritual well-being of your children.

 

[Victor E.]

Hello.

My finacee is a Buddhist and is very open minded about my Christian faith. I really love this woman a lot. I can't help who I fall in love with.

Anyways, we were talking about how to raise the children (since it's a big deal). I told her I wanted to raise them Christian, and she didn't have a problem with that. However, she told me that she wanted them to be old enough to make their own minds up about things, and that she wanted to teach them about her belief in Buddhism.

Is there anyway to find the happy median? She's already told me that she doesn't mind them being raised Christian, but that she doesn't want me to force them into anything. For them to hear both sides of this and then decide for themselves when they are old enough to do so.

I never want to force my children to do anything, since I know saving grace is up to God. I was forced into Christianity and it made me a pretty bitter teenager. I came back, of course, but I don't want my children to go down the same road.

Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks and God bless.

I think you already know the answer in your heart. That little voice crying out saying "don't do it". I strongly recommend you listen to Him because it will NOT end well. Not at all. You will save yourself the piercing of many griefs, friend. Matthew 10:34-36

 

[Linus]

Beloved brother, I was on my way to go a similiar path like you and I kept telling me that she would convert and accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour. But as time progressed, I realized that it was more wishful thinking on my part and a way for me to justify my relationship.

Let me put it this way, as a Christian, Jesus Christ is everything for me and if I couldn't share my relationship with my wife, pray to Him together, study the Word of God together, discuss the teachings and sermons from church, I would feel empty inside, I wouldn't get so close to my wife as I should.

If a person was a super fan of e.g. New York Giants and talked about the team daily, read every news about them etc. If that person's better half didn't care about the Giants, they wouldn't really fulfill each other.

Either way brother, I'm praying for you, for guidance, wisdom, peace and for your fiancee.

 

[Geralt]

i once loved a buddhist myself. i love her but i loved christ more. made no permanent commitments.

but friendship blossomed, eventually she became a christian. it was a slow and long process before she decided to follow christ.

she was on fire for christ so much and eventually decided to marry someone who is 'full-time' ministry, not me unfortunately.

story of my life, but i'm happy for her.

point is dont rush it, no expectations.

 

[High Fidelity]

i once loved a buddhist myself. i love her but i loved christ more. made no permanent commitments.

This indeed.

No partner should love or be loved more than the love for Christ.

 

[jimmyjimmy]

My finacee is a Buddhist and is very open minded about my Christian faith.

That's not the way the Bible frames it. Outside of Christ, we are at enmity with God. We are at war with Him. You may not eb aware of that war, but it's there.

I can't help who I fall in love with.

Yes. You can, and you can certainly help who you marry.

we were talking about how to raise the children (since it's a big deal).

And who you marry is not?