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Marriage w/name calling

Discussion in 'Prayer Wall' started by Itsahappyday, Oct 11, 2017.

  1. Itsahappyday

    Itsahappyday Member

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    Please pray for my marriage and for me to get rid of anger.

    I NEED to know that the Lord doesn't approve of his words or actions toward me. He is so successful that it feels like the Lord approves of him but he's not kind to me.

    My husband has been calling me names for almost all of our marriage years. Started calling me dumb when I didn't want to take cough medicine earlier than the 6 hours it said on the bottle ..and it got worse.

    I tried not to respond in kind and was able the first 2 -2.5 years to refrain but now I AM SO angry I call him names back like liar and hypocrite and others. Not proud... I remain calm but when he says something that hits me emotionally inside I lose it now. I don't even want to.spend time with him cause he gets so impatient, like if I sniffle or move too much or get distracted while watching tv with him ....and intimacy is very difficult.

    Please pray that I will not respond back and that my love for him will be restored.

    At times I've gotten so angry that I will hit the counter or wall or bang my feet on the floor in fustration for example. When I do he becomes physically threatening by pushing me or walking up to me with his chest and pushes me back with his chest.
    One time last year I threw a knife in the sink while arguing and he grabbed me by my clothing and pushed back. I had a small bruise that faded quickly and my necklace broke. He now says I threw it at him but it's not true. He says he doesn't hit me so I tell him he roughs me up a bit.

    I thought things were getting better but when he's working a lot or doesn't sleep well or is not well, he's super impatient.

    He remembers things wrong and doesn't remember the good, like me being super patient and crying often, not responding back, ... he would get upset for little things like the way I put the butter in the frying pan.

    He got upset when I asked if I could do a load of laundry today. He was working and said I could have done it when he had taken his bath earlier this afternoon and then when we were arguing I banged the floor with my foot and he pushed me back a few times ..even now when I said he started it he accuses me of twisting things???? !!!

    .yesterday he was proud of me at how kind I am to everyone ...today I am evil, hypocrite conniving etc.....

    I didn't understand how others didn't pick it up. In the beginning of our marriage when this was happening I wondered why any prayer warrior of the church didn't pick up what was happening.

    I know about 2 months ago I was ready to jump out of the car near the highway and go home cause I was so upset but when I arrived at church a lady said that she prayed for me that morning cause I was very much on her heart. It was nice. But no one knows how he's treated me and I would be concerned that no one would believe me.

    BUT what about him!? No matter what I do he says I am lazy and sloppy and insults me and my intelligence. Says I come from a loser family.

    I need supernatural help to not call him names back. I was not like this before our marriage but he said it was always there but now it was just coming out. I said that proverbs says not to be friends with an angry man etc... but he doesn't agree.

    I sometimes question my salvation because I am not able all the time to just keep my mouth shut and just not respond back.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2017
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  2. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Simul Justus et Peccator Supporter

    +40,278
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    Praying for you, for your husband, and for your marriage.

    God bless you! (Isaiah 41:10)

    --David
     
  3. RoseforChrist

    RoseforChrist Member

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    Sorry to hear you are being abused. Praying for you. I would seek counseling immediately.
     
  4. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

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    I saw/heard something interesting last night from a pastor marriage counselor. Early in his/their married life he too was impatient with his wife, it grew and grew to where she was no good in his mind and of course he was fine in his mind. one day it came to a head and he told her to get out, go back to her family. As she packed her things, he sat on the couch thinking what had he just done. He then prayed that the Holy Spirit let him see his wife as the Holy Spirit sees his wife. He said it was as if a veil had fallen from his eyes the very next moment, he went in and for the first time in their married lives he said he was sorry. From that day forward they pray together to see each other through the eyes of the Holy Spirit. They have learned patience with one another through prayer. Just sayin.
     
  5. RoseforChrist

    RoseforChrist Member

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    There is a big difference between name calling/being physical with someone. That is not just being impatient its called abuse. I would strongly advise not to sit around waiting for him to realize how he treating you is wrong. I waited for 11 years...it never happened. I dont agree with just giving up on him but setting boundaries is important now, not later. I hope you find the help you need sweetie. Prayers for you and your marriageā¤
     
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  6. Itsahappyday

    Itsahappyday Member

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    Thank you. Will pray and ask the Lord that He could do that for me too.

    We rarely pray together. I wanted to pray before marriage when we were just getting to know one another but he didn't want, said it will create an attachment.

    Now he allows me to pray for him if he's not feeling well and occasionally other times but we don't pray every day. He said he doesn't like the way I pray, that I babble (chat) with God but don't pray in his opinion. It's sad.
     
  7. Itsahappyday

    Itsahappyday Member

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    Thank you. I really need prayers too that I won't respond back in kind to his mean words.

    I sometimes question my salvation because I am not able all the time to just keep my mouth shut and just not respond back.
     
  8. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    +3,403
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    Something I did not mention is that also as they began praying together they rejected the devil, simply pushed him out. On that note and referencing what you just said above, Satan is great at making us question our salvation, he knows we still live in our weak fleshy bodies and uses that to his best advantage. If you are saved and if he can derail your behavior then you are less effective, even ineffective in your walk with our savior.

    My question is not if you are saved so much but is your husband ? The enemy can and will work through him if he can, then weaken you and stop your walk if he can. Meditate and Pray on that. Remember we do not battle against flesh and blood.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2017
  9. Greg Merrill

    Greg Merrill Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Father, I pray this one will get the victory over anger, by a yielding to You, and following the guidance You give in Your Word. May they be transformed, conformed, blessed, and become the example of what You can do in a person's life. I pray this for both parties involved. May they see the errors of their ways (Job 6:24), repent, be filled with Your Spirit, and greatly blessed. Thank You for Your desire already to accomplish this. Amen.
     
  10. Itsahappyday

    Itsahappyday Member

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    Amen. Thank you. I am willing to admit my faults and to change my part, I just really need the Lord's help not to respond back in kind
     
  11. LoricaLady

    LoricaLady YHWH's Supporter

    +6,830
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    Please research, and pray about, domestic abuse. It has too frequent habit of escalating. I pray for peace and healing in your home.
     
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  12. EmmaCat

    EmmaCat ALL Heartbeats matter Supporter Angels Team CF Ambassadors

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    Praying for both of you!
     
  13. Little Lantern

    Little Lantern Be encouraged! Christ has overcome the world! Supporter

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  14. Itsahappyday

    Itsahappyday Member

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    Thank you very much!
     
  15. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    :heart: Dear heart, as RoseforChrist and LoricaLady have mentioned, this is abuse. And it escalates. He's also "gaslighting" you. Research what that means. Find a safe place to go to when he escalates (it's called a "safe plan"...it's sorta' like "insurance" so to speak). Yes, he is escalating when he pushes you with his chest, etc. There is a national hotline number where you can call and be anonymous and you can ask them about "gaslighting" and what that means. Here's the number and website:

    1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
    http://www.thehotline.org/

    In the meantime, i'm praying for your protection and safety, and that God grants you wisdom, discernment, and clarity, dear heart. (((hug)))
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2017
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