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Looking for the "Domestic Violence. Having issues, looking for solutions" thread?
- Thread starter helenofbritain
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We have another counselling appointment with MC Bob today.
Please pray it goes well.
Thankyou!!!!
Please pray it goes well.
Thankyou!!!!
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YourBrotherInChrist
Regular Member
May God give you abundant strength as you make your way through this very difficult time in your life.
You are in my prayers every day.
You are in my prayers every day.
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Done!
EllenMoran
Lord, I believe, help my unbelief
- Mar 16, 2004
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Hiya everyone!
Today's session was hard work, and antsy at times, but we made some real progress AND were civilised to each other afterwards! (we had a nice dinner together).
Your prayers rock!!
Thankyou all!!!
Today's session was hard work, and antsy at times, but we made some real progress AND were civilised to each other afterwards! (we had a nice dinner together).
Your prayers rock!!
Thankyou all!!!
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Just an update..
School goes back on Thursday, so I have moved back to our house, so I don't have to drive Angus half an hour to and from school. It'll be a 15 minute walk instead
Ben is moving to his mum's house.
We have been travelling really well lately - we've been having conversations that would previously have ended really badly really quickly, but instead are remaining civil, and both sides are being heard.
This is a HUGE thing for us.
I want to thankyou for so much for all your prayers. They have been working wonders!
School goes back on Thursday, so I have moved back to our house, so I don't have to drive Angus half an hour to and from school. It'll be a 15 minute walk instead
Ben is moving to his mum's house.
We have been travelling really well lately - we've been having conversations that would previously have ended really badly really quickly, but instead are remaining civil, and both sides are being heard.
This is a HUGE thing for us.
I want to thankyou for so much for all your prayers. They have been working wonders!
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Well, once I've done the 7 loads of washing he left... scrubbed the bathroom... done the washing up... and chucked out a whole lots of crap - I think it'll feel pretty good!Good news HoB!
How does it feel to be in your own home again?
Ah, cleaning.
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Andoverpolo
Well-Known Member
Are sessions together effective? Does your husband know what he does? How long did you move out?
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MikeK
Traditionalist Catholic
I'm not Helenofbritain, but I 've gone to counseling with my wife. It is very effective if both parties are committed to eachother and willing to be completely open and honest with eachother and with the counseler and let the process work. Though in our case there was no abuse going on, I still learned alot about me and about how to be a better husband and a better person. I definately recomend it.
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Andoverpolo
Well-Known Member
The trouble with that is that all professionals rely on the excuse that it "takes time." I imagine at their billing rates it does take a great deal of time. I'm not stupid, they don't really care how things work out, they just want to make sure you show up so that the clock can start running. More time = more possibilities for things to get worse. They don't care - if things work out that's just good advertising, if they fail then it was doomed to failure, either way they can buy that new Audi.
The thread title said there are solutions here, what are they?
The thread title said there are solutions here, what are they?
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MikeK
Traditionalist Catholic
Well - the thread title was that she was "looking for solutions". There are no easy solutions that won't take allot of effort, unfortunately. Thankfully, for all the crappy things I've been, I've never been physically abusive to a woman - but I do know that no decent man grows up wanting to be the guy who beats up his defenseless wife. It's usually pretty complicated I'd guess, these men (or women, as the case may be) are probably often unable to confront the emotions they have in a constructive way. If the solution were as simple as "hey idiot, only a cowardly failure of a man beats his wife, stop doing that", then we wouldn't see domestic violence at all.
If you're laying a hand on your gf or spouse in anger, stop. If you do it again after you've decided to stop, then you have a problem that you simply aren't able to solve on your own. At that point, you can choose to either do the work, spend the time and money and go see someone who specializes in that behavior, or you can elect to do nothing about it. If you do it the hard way, put the time and effort in and learn to deal with your emotions in a positive way, you'll really be a hero. Behaviors like that are hard to change. If you decide you'd rather not put that effort forth, then you're deciding that you're happy to spend your life being the kind of douche that fights women because he isn't man enough to deal with the issues in his life in a constructive way. It's a choice you gotta make. If doing it the right way was easy, everyone would do it.
If you're having a hard time coming up with the money to see a counselor, I'd be happy to help you out to the best of my ability.
Why the cynical attitude?
Is it so unthinkable that people might just choose a profession of that sort out of an honest desire to help people?
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