Loneliness

[Crucifix]

Please disregard this "off topic" post.

 

[Sindyan]

Totally... Most people our age can't even comprehend the kind of burdon and responsibility we shoulder with this calling! My friends and I are constantly overwhelmed... It forces you to grow up in some ways at a really expedited rate.

People ask me if I like my university. I tell them, "Well... college was sort of over for me a year ago. You see, a year ago I joined the nursing program."

Aye....in a small way it is scary. In about two years i will be taking care of me. People's lives, their families, and the community is in my hands. I don't say that out of pride, but out of like wow. I'm not even sure i will recognize myself after these two years.


Haha, we have sooo off topic . Sorry Sing!

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

It's alright guys! Chat away! I seriously don't mind.

Btw good luck with schooling you two! I know you're both gonna do awesome!

 

[Sindyan]

thank you

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

This is something that has been on my mind and I wanna know If I'm alone in this.


I may have something to do with being so shy but I tend to take things so personally. I'm so sensitive it's just awful. Like stupid things I get upset about. For example on another board I'm on someone mentioned that "i stole their font color". I mean such petty little things they're complaining about but it still hurt me. It came from a friend whom I haven't talked with in awhile and I thought they'd be glad to see me back on the boards. I wish I could somehow "toughen up" but I don't know how too? People just go with the "suck it up" approach but it's hard for me to do that. Anyone else struggle with this? Am I alone?

 

[servantsheart4God]

This is something that has been on my mind and I wanna know If I'm alone in this.


I may have something to do with being so shy but I tend to take things so personally. I'm so sensitive it's just awful. Like stupid things I get upset about. For example on another board I'm on someone mentioned that "i stole their font color". I mean such petty little things they're complaining about but it still hurt me. It came from a friend whom I haven't talked with in awhile and I thought they'd be glad to see me back on the boards. I wish I could somehow "toughen up" but I don't know how too? People just go with the "suck it up" approach but it's hard for me to do that. Anyone else struggle with this? Am I alone?

omygoodness...you too?...

wow, i thought i was the only one that took things to heart like that....

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

omygoodness...you too?...

wow, i thought i was the only one that took things to heart like that....

Nope, you're def. not alone. Someone also just downed me for never dated anybody. It hurt. It really did. I've already begun to believe something is wrong with me they don't have to add to it.

 

[servantsheart4God]

Nope, you're def. not alone. Someone also just downed me for never dated anybody. It hurt. It really did. I've already begun to believe something is wrong with me they don't have to add to it.

that is VERY bad, you should be able to count on your brother's and sister's to know WE can encourage you. THAT IS NOT ENCOURAGEMENT. And you should not lend an ear to the enemy.

Praying the Lord can help you to rise above the immaturity of those individuals.

Be encouraged that you are right in line with God's promises .

 

[cslrwilliams]

I deal with loneliness on a regular basis--esp. on the weekends. I do a lot of walking--esp. in the cooler months & that helps me deal with stuff. I do have a few friends in the Knoxville area with whom I get together once in a while--but living alone & longing for a special woman in my life--it gets tough sometimes. I am painfully shy when it comes to meeting new people.
There is a Catholic Singles Group in one of the Knoxville parishes--but I dread the thought of going without knowing anyone there. Here I am a counselor--yet I find it hard to meet new people in certain kinds of settings. (Just goes to show that counselors are perfect either). That shyness that I feel-gets in my way alot I think.

 

[Sindyan]

Nope, you're def. not alone. Someone also just downed me for never dated anybody. It hurt. It really did. I've already begun to believe something is wrong with me they don't have to add to it.

Sing,

First thing....there is absolutely nothing wrong with never had dated before. You have saved yourself so much heartache, and junk that comes along with it. I'm not saying dating and relationships are evil, but they are not much more than feelings. But I semi-understand what you mean. I have only been in two "relationships"...both lasting about 4 months. One I regret, and the other was a good experience. Not because of emotional/feeling reasons, but because i got to see a lot of junk that was in my heart...and it helped me become such a better man.

Someday, when a guy comes a along, and sees your heart...and not the shyness face. He will have found himself a wonderful girl! Who will love him extremely passionated and hard. Hehe, 23-24 years of pent up emotions, romance novels, and homornes . Hehe, i know which ones....ohh the joy of being a Nurse.

I know by saying this is kind of like a double edge dagger into your heart...encouraging but also it's "When!". The balance between being content in single hood, and still be open for a relationship is a very hard balance.

You are not "better" or "worse" than a person that has dated around some. Each will bring completely different to marriage, and love.

Onto the Shyness factor:.

I may have something to do with being so shy but I tend to take things so personally. I'm so sensitive it's just awful. Like stupid things I get upset about. For example on another board I'm on someone mentioned that "i stole their font color". I mean such petty little things they're complaining about but it still hurt me. It came from a friend whom I haven't talked with in awhile and I thought they'd be glad to see me back on the boards. I wish I could somehow "toughen up" but I don't know how too? People just go with the "suck it up" approach but it's hard for me to do that. Anyone else struggle with this? Am I alone?

You must seriously look into to heart and ask...is this from God? Is this a good or bad thing? Am I able to serve the body of Christ best with this heart of mine?

I fall into the "sensitive" catageroy...and as a guy that's normally the anti-girl category. But I have toughed up a lot...not in the bad ways, but in the good ways. I will never never never be some cowboy...I have accepted that. I am a Man Nurse! Here me roar!

I toughed up at times, so i can help more people. Yet at the same time i keep my sensitive side. At times in my bible study when I have friends that are fighting or during events with frat brothers that there is anger and separation.....it drives me insane. i have learned how to speak the truth in love, and to challenge people. I have learned to fight my insecurities partly for my own self, but also so I can help others. But i'm balanced and my sense of value is not based on other people...it's on my identity in Christ. That i'm a son of Christ. He has given me a spirit of Courge, a spirit of Purity, and because of HIS work, I have so much to offer people.

I also understand that i will need to be very firm. Yes, I can become the cold harded stuttering Bald Dictor at the group home that I work at, and that the weekend staff knows me as . But if I can find the boldness to fight against my shyness to help calm down someone who has lost control of their emotions. My "strength", "boldness", or "toughness" is not out of pride or anger. I have to become a strong tower to help my cilents, that I love so much. That when they lose control of their emotions....they need a Tower or Cliff to break against to slow them down, to gain control of themselves, and to help reminded them correct behavior. Am I a brute? By far no. By Shyness much be laid down sometimes for the greater good.

God bless girl!
Sindyan

 

[Luther073082]

Nope, you're def. not alone. Someone also just downed me for never dated anybody. It hurt. It really did. I've already begun to believe something is wrong with me they don't have to add to it.

Honey, I don't care what other people say listen to what I say. The number of people you have dated in the past doesn't matter. That is not a measure of how successful you are. There is nothing wrong with you.

Why anyone would see fit to make fun of someone else's personal life like that I have no idea. But I can tell you this that you shouldn't listen to anyone who goes on the attack like that. Worry about the people who really care about you and what they think. People who really care about you will build you up but also tell you what you are doing wrong.

You are a bit shy so work on getting out there more. But there really is nothing wrong with you, you will be fine and you will meet someone. God loves you and so do I.

 

[Crucifix]

Sing, like Sindyan, I used to take things too seriously. I would often feel "imperfect" b/c of the medical problems, but I later learned the REAL reason for my shyness and it's something I'm trying to work on as I type this. I'm still a little shy or "thin-skinned", but not as much as before.

I believe that a lot of it comes down to esteem issues which were mentioned earlier. I would encourage you to get involved in volunteer activities outside your church activities as well. This will broaden your scope of acquaintances and will give you some very sorely needed self-confidence. As for the Depression, please try and get proper counseling. I know you said that you had it before, and the reason for not going now is $$$. Unfortunately, that's always the reason. Is there any way in which you can get state-covered assistance for your depression? I would encourage you to search out this avenue of help.

I'm well aware that it's much more easily said than done, but it IS an avenue to explore. also, I can't live your life and it's improper of me to tell you what to do. These are offered only as suggestions.

 

[GoodNewsJim]

You know what gets me over loneliness?

A sense of purpose such as spreading the Gospel

Or enriching my possibilities with the females by getting into shape.

Back to my endless workout.

 

[Crucifix]

when you "go beyond" yourself to help someone out, your loneliness is shattered, especially when you do this on a regular basis.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Well I briefly explained some of my theories and studies. I think it is not all together shyness, but just allowing oneself to be free.

Some of us are strong or come from a good supported background. While others not developed the skills or capacity to be free. May also be garbage from past experiences as a child that have formed bad habits or vicious cycles that prevent people from growing. So they fear or don't want to bother others with their burdens. If some form of behavior or set of feelings are dragging one down, then they are not free to be themselves. Have to solve the problem.

Cure the spirit first. imo

Proverbs 18:14
14 The human spirit can endure a sick body,
but who can bear a crushed spirit?

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Thanks to everyone for their encouragment and advice. It means a lot! A lot of what ya'll have said is so true which means I have so much to work on. Lord, please help me.

 

[silentpoet]

I don't so much feel lonely for people in general. I am to a certain degree satisfied with my relationships with my fellow man. I am fairly self sufficient in that regard. But I do long to the very core of my being for a special lady to be in my life.

 

[Sindyan]

Don't think about it as "so much to work on". Think about it in small steps. Small Hills are so much easier to conquer than a mountain a time.But what helped me the most if a book by Rabbi Shmuley called Face your Fear. It was the most painfully book i have ever read...but it was so good for me. But I'll stop with the advice...you have had enough .

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Don't think about it as "so much to work on". Think about it in small steps. Small Hills are so much easier to conquer than a mountain a time.But what helped me the most if a book by Rabbi Shmuley called Face your Fear. It was the most painfully book i have ever read...but it was so good for me. But I'll stop with the advice...you have had enough .

It's quite alright! I need all the advice I can get.

 

[servantsheart4God]

i recognize my desires and wants and needs, but I also recognize that so does the Lord.

For me, right now, I want to fellowship and converse with other believer's but there's a part of me that doesn't want to...because that would mean that I have moved on from the place I once was (where I thought I was happy with this other person) and tbh - i don't want to move on (just yet anyway), that's the part of me that still believe's and hopes....