Loneliness

[PeculiarTreasure]

i recognize my desires and wants and needs, but I also recognize that so does the Lord.

For me, right now, I want to fellowship and converse with other believer's but there's a part of me that doesn't want to...because that would mean that I have moved on from the place I once was (where I thought I was happy with this other person) and tbh - i don't want to move on (just yet anyway), that's the part of me that still believe's and hopes....

I've been here. Still am probably.

I think it's time for me to take my avatar's message to heart.

 

[servantsheart4God]

it just seems as though everyone around me is either getting married or just got into a new relationship and are happy.

I guess my heart is in some sort of a hurry , but you'd think it'd learn it's lesson from those past experiences .

My mind is the logical one and maybe even the skeptic, but how do you get your heart to not lead your mind? How would you even balance logistics and hope at the same time? Instead, the heart seems go wherever there's hope. I suppose the heart is gonna want what it wants...

I can't stand it though because I am a very affectionate and loving person that enjoys cuddling and hugging - and therefore I desire to be with someone that wouldn't mind those back-rubs and that closeness that I long for.

So when I meet someone that "seems" to fit right in all my areas of substantial standards that I have, it's not hard to ask "omygoodness, could this be him?..." And I don't even have to have an answer (most of the time I never get one anyway) I just run with it, then wonder later what in the world happened?...

Does it not sound like the rantings of a mad woman?...

 

[IseekTheTruth]

it just seems as though everyone around me is either getting married or just got into a new relationship and are happy.

I guess my heart is in some sort of a hurry , but you'd think it'd learn it's lesson from those past experiences .

My mind is the logical one and maybe even the skeptic, but how do you get your heart to not lead your mind? How would you even balance logistics and hope at the same time? Instead, the heart seems go wherever there's hope. I suppose the heart is gonna want what it wants...

I can't stand it though because I am a very affectionate and loving person that enjoys cuddling and hugging - and therefore I desire to be with someone that wouldn't mind those back-rubs and that closeness that I long for.

So when I meet someone that "seems" to fit right in all my areas of substantial standards that I have, it's not hard to ask "omygoodness, could this be him?..." And I don't even have to have an answer (most of the time I never get one anyway) I just run with it, then wonder later what in the world happened?...

Does it not sound like the rantings of a mad woman?...

Lack of hope is indeed the defining element for loneliness, for me at least. If there is even one girl that I could potentially date, then I've got hope, and I'm fine, but when I have ZERO options... not a single girl I am interested in that I ever see... That is when my weakness sometimes takes over and my lack of faith results in a lack of hope, then life is just... bad for a while.

If I'd just rely on God through it all it would be better.

I too love snuggling up and massages and just holding hands or hugging. It is something I've been without for years now since my last girlfriend. I am VERY sensitive to touch, though I am not a touchy feely person, so on that level I can relate.

Think of them as delayed blessings... We could find any shmoe to date right now and it would be like digging in our pocket for 5 bucks, or we could wait until God provides the right person in his PERFECT TIMING, working our ourselves in the mean time, which would be like looking down and seeing a $10,000 dollar bill laying at our feet, which, in itself would be a miracle because they are rare collector's items

 

[servantsheart4God]

Lack of hope is indeed the defining element for loneliness, for me at least. If there is even one girl that I could potentially date, then I've got hope, and I'm fine, but when I have ZERO options... not a single girl I am interested in that I ever see... That is when my weakness sometimes takes over and my lack of faith results in a lack of hope, then life is just... bad for a while.

If I'd just rely on God through it all it would be better.

I too love snuggling up and massages and just holding hands or hugging. It is something I've been without for years now since my last girlfriend. I am VERY sensitive to touch, though I am not a touchy feely person, so on that level I can relate.

Think of them as delayed blessings... We could find any shmoe to date right now and it would be like digging in our pocket for 5 bucks, or we could wait until God provides the right person in his PERFECT TIMING, working our ourselves in the mean time, which would be like looking down and seeing a $10,000 dollar bill laying at our feet, which, in itself would be a miracle because they are rare collector's items

I see your point. Like saying "if it's God, you don't have to work at it,it would just 'come' to us", right?...

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

it just seems as though everyone around me is either getting married or just got into a new relationship and are happy.

I guess my heart is in some sort of a hurry , but you'd think it'd learn it's lesson from those past experiences .

My mind is the logical one and maybe even the skeptic, but how do you get your heart to not lead your mind? How would you even balance logistics and hope at the same time? Instead, the heart seems go wherever there's hope. I suppose the heart is gonna want what it wants...

I can't stand it though because I am a very affectionate and loving person that enjoys cuddling and hugging - and therefore I desire to be with someone that wouldn't mind those back-rubs and that closeness that I long for.

So when I meet someone that "seems" to fit right in all my areas of substantial standards that I have, it's not hard to ask "omygoodness, could this be him?..." And I don't even have to have an answer (most of the time I never get one anyway) I just run with it, then wonder later what in the world happened?...

Does it not sound like the rantings of a mad woman?...

Well if it is the rantings of a mad woman then save me a space at the phsyc. ward. I'm right there with you girl! Oh my goodness. You seriously described me in a nutshell. (no pun intended)

 

[servantsheart4God]

Well if it is the rantings of a mad woman then save me a space at the phsyc. ward. I'm right there with you girl! Oh my goodness. You seriously described me in a nutshell. (no pun intended)

lol - you know, i'm glad you and I can actually find humor in our 'sorrow'...

 

[rifle5k]

God has planted a seed for us he's just waiting for our spouse to be ripe to harvest.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

lol - you know, i'm glad you and I can actually find humor in our 'sorrow'...

Tis better to laugh then to cry.

 

[servantsheart4God]

God has planted a seed for us he's just waiting for our spouse to be ripe to harvest.

good one - i like the way that was put

 

[IseekTheTruth]

I see your point. Like saying "if it's God, you don't have to work at it,it would just 'come' to us", right?...

Well... sort of...

I don't embrace the mentality that we should kick back and let God do it all, but rather that we should do EVERYTHING we can to prepare ourselves, while relying on God and leaving the rest to him.

For example, someone who doesn't study for their science test and says "God will take care of me!" is a fool to me. However, someone who studies extensively and relies on God to have insight and a good memory is doing their job as a Christian.

Likewise, with dating and relationships in general, we should be doing all we can be doing while we're single to be attractive, good mates. That means honoring God by studying, memorizing, and obeying God's word, being involved in the church, exercisizing and eating right. Dressing well, and working on our character flaws... and pursuing people who we might be in a relationship with!!! We shouldn't be lazy people or lazy Christians and expect God to take up all the slack.

If we are doing all of these things and are STILL single, yet it is our hearts desire to be in a relationship, then I firmly believe that God will give us the desire of our heart in his perfect timing.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

God has planted a seed for us he's just waiting for our spouse to be ripe to harvest.

I agree! That's very profound! Thanks for sharing!

 

[servantsheart4God]

Well... sort of...

I don't embrace the mentality that we should kick back and let God do it all, but rather that we should do EVERYTHING we can to prepare ourselves, while relying on God and leaving the rest to him.

For example, someone who doesn't study for their science test and says "God will take care of me!" is a fool to me. However, someone who studies extensively and relies on God to have insight and a good memory is doing their job as a Christian.

Likewise, with dating and relationships in general, we should be doing all we can be doing while we're single to be attractive, good mates. That means honoring God by studying, memorizing, and obeying God's word, being involved in the church, exercisizing and eating right. Dressing well, and working on our character flaws... and pursuing people who we might be in a relationship with!!! We shouldn't be lazy people or lazy Christians and expect God to take up all the slack.

If we are doing all of these things and are STILL single, yet it is our hearts desire to be in a relationship, then I firmly believe that God will give us the desire of our heart in his perfect timing.

right, i just meant that the "relationship" would come about without our trying to make it happen, but that God would inevitably bring those two together, and not that we should let God do everything. Yes, I totally agree and I am a firm believer that faith and works go hand-in-hand, you just elaborated on it more, and well, I might add .

 

[rifle5k]

James 2:10 Not so fast. You can no more show me works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works,works and faith fit together hand in glove.

 

[rifle5k]

We must profess to ourselves that God will provide us with someone we can spend rest our human lives here on earth with, but to that we can't rush ourselves into a relationship we already see error in & force ourselves to believe that that was God's will. As in example we Abram asked God for a son. God said he would provide. Abram waited and waited...and then took matters into his own hands and slept with his maid.

 

[servantsheart4God]

We must profess to ourselves that God will provide us with someone we can spend rest our human lives here on earth with, but to that we can't rush ourselves into a relationship we already see error in & force ourselves to believe that that was God's will. As in example we Abram asked God for a son. God said he would provide. Abram waited and waited...and then took matters into his own hands and slept with his maid.

hmm...i see - i see, good catch -thanks

 

[Nottingham40]

I feel your heart on this one sister.

I often deal with this issue and I dont know the answer. If you live in Colorado Ill be your buddy

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I feel your heart on this one sister.

I often deal with this issue and I dont know the answer. If you live in Colorado Ill be your buddy

Awww thanks. It's sure nice to know I'm not the only one going through this. Sadly I don't live there but we can always be friends here on CF.

 

[Crucifix]

Servant, I was never able to see when a genuine relationship was at my feet. TBH, there was and is, to a degree, much shame for a lot of rejection. This is something I'm working on. I have also been "stalked" by a woman very unhealthily, so it makes me even more wary. Conversely, I'm well aware of what a woman must put into a r'ship, if it's going to be lifelong. There are a lot of sacrifices which will have to be made. Many people don't think about this.

 

[servantsheart4God]

Servant, I was never able to see when a genuine relationship was at my feet. TBH, there was and is, to a degree, much shame for a lot of rejection. This is something I'm working on. I have also been "stalked" by a woman very unhealthily, so it makes me even more wary. Conversely, I'm well aware of what a woman must put into a r'ship, if it's going to be lifelong. There are a lot of sacrifices which will have to be made. Many people don't think about this.

yes, but sometimes i put my all and i think God would desire that from me...

 

[MelissaBlpn]

It's hard for me to be lonely. I have 2 dogs, a cat, 2 birds and a fish. They really keep me company and I love it!!