Let us talk masturbation.

[holyshield]

hi, masturbation is not glorifying God.

Reason:
Sexual urge is given to mankind to desire the opposite sex. Not self-satisfying.

It took me a great effort to stop that habit =)

 

[ALoveDivine]

Sexual urge is given to mankind to desire the opposite sex. Not self-satisfying.

So then is having sex with your spouse purely for pleasure wrong? And what scriptural support do you have for your position?

 

[LovelyWife3]

Thanks for posting this question. Many times masturbation is seen as a male struggle but women also have to struggle with masturbation. When I asked around many people said it was a sin and how it is self worship. I struggle with this because for so many people including myself it is a release. I was single for a while and felt guilt when tempted to "please myself". Now though I am married the temptation has not disappeared, it is much harder. I will spare everyone all of the details but I wish that more people especially Christians talked about masturbation and alternatives for those that are single and married and about healing and more. Thanks again

 

[OGM]

I wish that more people especially Christians talked about masturbation and alternatives for those that are single and married and about healing and more.

Masturbation is a very big taboo with many. Also you will probably find very few people will give alternatives. Let's face it, if the alternatives worked so well, people would not be interested in having sex at all.

 

[Sir Robbins]

^ I understand this. It was nice to release this "urge" that bugged me to no end but afterwards, I hated myself. It is a vicious cycle that happily is disappearing. Almost gone completely now. No drive at all. MS is disabling me in that area. I never had a desire to do "it" with anyone ever though. Even the one person who loved me in a way I thought was only fantasy

 

[OGM]

^ I understand this. It was nice to release this "urge" that bugged me to no end but afterwards, I hated myself. It is a vicious cycle that happily is disappearing. Almost gone completely now. No drive at all. MS is disabling me in that area. I never had a desire to do "it" with anyone ever though. Even the one person who loved me in a way I thought was only fantasy

I hope you the best Sir Robbins, I really do. I feel bad that you hated yourself. I hear that is very common. At least the vicious cycle of self hatred you dissappearing.

This reminds me of a Brother at Church I once knew that was on Paxil for depression. The depression seemed to be related to several external factors such a death of parents in a car accident and job loss. He figured he would stop taking the Paxil after a while. He was okay...he thought. However he noticed the "urge" started to come back. He is unmarried. So after a few weeks he went back on the Paxil and the "urge" completely disappeared again.

I think he will be taking Paxil the rest of his life now. So apparently this is one alternative a previous poster may have eluded to.

 

[ALoveDivine]

So apparently this is one alternative a previous poster may have eluded to.

I would much sooner advise a brother or sister to just go ahead and touch before I would advise them to take pharmaceutical drugs.

I think the real problem is with the guilt some of you feel, not the act itself. I'm convinced that that guilt does not come from God, but from our own psychology.

 

[OGM]

I would much sooner advise a brother or sister to just go ahead and touch before I would advise them to take pharmaceutical drugs.

I am not saying I agree with taking the drugs or not. However from reading and hearing what is often said in the community...one can definitely see how a person could begin to feel that way about themselves. Self-hatred is a very powerful motivator.

I think the real problem is with the guilt some of you feel, not the act itself. I'm convinced that that guilt does not come from God, but from our own psychology.

It can be a vicious loop for some people. The reason is that it does not go away. For a single person especially that can create a conundrum because any relieve maybe considered sinful in their eyes. So they pray, but prayer usually does not actually remove the drive. Also they may or may not ultimately find a spouse. So they often get extremely frustrated. Frustration without an outlet can be destructive. One can see the problems all of this can cause.

 

[Sir Robbins]

Frustration without an outlet can be destructive. One can see the problems all of this can cause.

The problems can lead to very harmful acts to ones self and others. many who report years of frustration end up raping, molesting, and some ultimately commit suicide. It's called involuntary celibacy. Someone with a sex drive that for whatever reason other than celibacy or asexuality does not have sex. It can be catastrophic from a psychological and emotional standpoint and it isn't really the lack of sex itself as much as the lack of any connection to another person (i.e. a spouse or partner). The drive can be suppressed with drugs but do you really want to PAY for DRUGS to eliminate a natural desire? It's an unnatural thing to do and is ultimately self torture. God did not design us to torcher ourselves. You can't burry sexual denial. I have failed to. Even with medical issues and my lack of interest in sex with a partner, I hate the fact that I am alone almost all of the time. I work late nights not because I like to work, but I like my co-workers. We need relationships of some sort. I am battling with this

 

[tomwhite84]

I don't know if such a thing is even allowed on here or not, however, do you guys think that masturbation is a sin, yes or no and state your reasons why. Now I don't want us to argue on this and then people start butting heads at each other, no, and also no immature stuff as well guys. :3

I don't think it is a sin per se, but let's face it: when one masturbates, it's because one has an undeniable craving to be with somebody and that is what is typically on one's mind at the time. What one should do is find oneself somebody else to tie the knot with, rather than be alone with one's lusts. Jesus condemns lust.

 

[OGM]

I don't think it is a sin per se, but let's face it: when one masturbates, it's because one has an undeniable craving to be with somebody and that is what is typically on one's mind at the time. What one should do is find oneself somebody else to tie the knot with, rather than be alone with one's lusts. Jesus condemns lust.

There are a few issues that have to be addressed. How would a 14-year old tie the knot? Also many people get married for the first time in their mid-to-late 20's or later. There has to be an alternative.

 

[KitKatMatt]

I don't think it is a sin per se, but let's face it: when one masturbates, it's because one has an undeniable craving to be with somebody and that is what is typically on one's mind at the time. What one should do is find oneself somebody else to tie the knot with, rather than be alone with one's lusts. Jesus condemns lust.

I can't tie the knot with who is on my mind. They are made of pixels.

Do I get a free pass?

 

[tomwhite84]

I can't tie the knot with who is on my mind. They are made of pixels.

Do I get a free pass?

No, but I'm sure there's a real life gentleman out there somewhere who would like to have a girl like you.

 

[KitKatMatt]

No, but I'm sure there's a real life gentleman out there somewhere who would like to have a girl like you.

The problem is that I'm not interested in real life gentlemen, lol.

 

[tomwhite84]

There are a few issues that have to be addressed. How would a 14-year old tie the knot? Also many people get married for the first time in their mid-to-late 20's or later. There has to be an alternative.

In my opinion, Christians generally shouldn't be marrying that late, especially not in our liberal and oversexed culture. Most single people are not given the gift of celibacy; they have the burden of it, and that burden is not getting any lighter in an age where kids train their minds on obscenities viewed on their smartphones and want to copy what they see. The church should be proactively involved in preparing its youth for married life so that they don't have to put off having an outlet for their sexual desires for so long while they figure out in their 20s how to court, how to flirt, how to have safe sex, how to realize their sinning, how to feel guilty and ashamed about it, how to drop out of church, etc. Instead, what we have is an astonishingly immature generation coming through the church who are a result of laissez-faire "parenting" and youth groups that spend more time entertaining the kids than actually training them for real life. Playstation at home, more Playstation at church, yay! As a result it is taking longer than it should to have the necessary maturity to settle down. I could go on but it would be a long winded rant so I'll stop here.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thanks for posting this question. Many times masturbation is seen as a male struggle but women also have to struggle with masturbation. When I asked around many people said it was a sin and how it is self worship. I struggle with this because for so many people including myself it is a release. I was single for a while and felt guilt when tempted to "please myself". Now though I am married the temptation has not disappeared, it is much harder. I will spare everyone all of the details but I wish that more people especially Christians talked about masturbation and alternatives for those that are single and married and about healing and more. Thanks again

Invest in a nice silk nightdress and wear it directly after supper with your dh. See what happens.

 

[OGM]

In my opinion, Christians generally shouldn't be marrying that late, especially not in our liberal and oversexed culture. Most single people are not given the gift of celibacy; they have the burden of it, and that burden is not getting any lighter in an age where kids train their minds on obscenities viewed on their smartphones and want to copy what they see. The church should be proactively involved in preparing its youth for married life so that they don't have to put off having an outlet for their sexual desires for so long while they figure out in their 20s how to court, how to flirt, how to have safe sex, how to realize their sinning, how to feel guilty and ashamed about it, how to drop out of church, etc. Instead, what we have is an astonishingly immature generation coming through the church who are a result of laissez-faire "parenting" and youth groups that spend more time entertaining the kids than actually training them for real life. Playstation at home, more Playstation at church, yay! As a result it is taking longer than it should to have the necessary maturity to settle down. I could go on but it would be a long winded rant so I'll stop here.

I know a lot of Christians that are not married. It isn't for lack of trying... If someone is working on their Masters or Doctorate, they usually will not get married at 18.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

" Eventually, we all blow our noses to release the snot; eventually, we must "release" the sperm in the same sense."
Yea, it is called a nocturnal emission for those who do not touch. Body cleans itself out.

A boyfriend of mine once told me this was a very undesireable option - to just allow the body to clean itself out - because by that point the "desire" to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] becomes physically painful for some men; and who really wants to wake up with wet sheets anyway?

 

[JojotheBeloved]

Where is that in scripture? Galatians 2 contrasts fruits of the flesh vs fruits of the spirit, and I've yet to find a mention of masturbation. By your logic any kind of sexual act, including marital sex, would be a "passion of the flesh". Are we to be celibate?


I've been involved in sexual immorality. And I mean real sexual immorality. Masturbation is not even in the same proximity. Again, where in scripture is masturbation regarded as sexually immoral?


According to...you? Where do you find this in the bible? Fornication is prohibited, adultery is prohibited, masturbation is...well...not. We are not to add our own rules to scripture.

Regarding what Paul advises on sexual immorality (from the perspective of a a student in biblical scholarship): In my studies on Paul and his letters, the term "sexual immorality" is used multiple times. However, it is also mentioned in 1 Cor. 7 where Paul admits that he has "no command from the Lord" on the subject of marriage and sexuality, but gives his own advice as a trustworthy judgment from his experience in knowing God personally. Back to the term "sexual immorality" in its context - in Paul's letters, this term is not explicitly defined (as far as I have read and understood) but seems to be more culturally and practically implied. What is expressly mentioned as sexually immoral acts are as listed: fornication, adultery, homosexuality, beasteality, and incest. Beyond this the bible is non-specific.

My personal opinion in what I have studied biblically and understand from my experience learning God's heart - Paul's advice may still hold true that all things may be lawful for those who are free from sin in Christ, but not all things may be beneficial. By this principle, the deciding factor for each individual on the subject of touching yourself may be whether or not it is beneficial for that individual, not just in short-term but in long-term life situations and relationships.

 

[JojotheBeloved]

The way I see it, there's no sin in touching yourself. The sin is in whether or not we think lustful thoughts. As with the debates surrounding porn or many other sexual things, it comes back to lust, and what the definition of that is. It is possible to touch without lust, but I don't think it's very advisable, given that lust could be just a step or two away at that point.

Paul makes the point in Scripture that all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. I can see that in relation to masturbation. Of course, this debate will spin in circles for a few more weeks or months before people finally lose interest. It's just fascinating how fascinated people are with the subject.

I think part of the reason this subject comes back again and again and why so many are so interested in it, may be because we don't have a lot of places in Christian community where we are allowed to talk about this without shame or fear of harsh judgment. It's a taboo subject in most church families.