"It is not good for man to be alone..."

[timewerx]

A Christian single is NEVER alone, he or she has the Holy Spirit.

Because apostle Paul said if you can help it, it's better to be single for the sake of the Lord.

 

[Sir Robbins]

A Christian single is NEVER alone, he or she has the Holy Spirit.

Because apostle Paul said if you can help it, it's better to be single for the sake of the Lord.

The fact that it was God himself who said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" would disprove this statement you have made. if God was enough and all we needed, there would be no need for human relationships.

 

[timewerx]

The fact that it was God himself who said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" would disprove this statement you have made. if God was enough and all we needed, there would be no need for human relationships.

And yet God had many prophets who never married. They died single.

Perhaps God only meant it for Adam only because Adam was literally alone at that time like literally the only man on Earth or Eden, etc, at that time.

It's not a rule nor law, just an option. An option that may or may not be good depending on circumstances. There were instances where marriage is seen as generally negative in the Bible like in the days of Noah, in the last days, and from Apostle Paul's writings.

We could be in the last days and may no longer be a good time to get married. You can bet on it, or not.

 

[Rajni]

And yet God had many prophets who never married. They died single.

Jesus was also single (at least, according to the mainstream understanding).

Oddly enough, when I'm alone (I'm a solitude-junkie, lol), I *never* feel lonely, for some reason. My explanation for that is that there is an unseen realm in which souls reside right alongside us (that "cloud of witnesses" referenced in the bible, I suppose), as well as God Himself. While I personally don't have the ability to see spirits with my physical eyes (unfortunately), I might be sensing them, if I can accomplish not feeling lonely in such solitude.

Audrey Hepburn is quoted as saying, "I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel." I'm the same way. I work 40 hours a week, and I guard my personal time very carefully nowadays, for my own sake as well as for the sake of anyone who has to put up with me the rest of the time!

 

[ozso]

There's a difference between being alone, and being lonely.

Probably most people need a companion. But that doesn't apply to everyone.

 

[Sir Robbins]

And yet God had many prophets who never married. They died single.

Perhaps God only meant it for Adam only because Adam was literally alone at that time like literally the only man on Earth or Eden, etc, at that time.

It's not a rule nor law, just an option. An option that may or may not be good depending on circumstances. There were instances where marriage is seen as generally negative in the Bible like in the days of Noah, in the last days, and from Apostle Paul's writings.

We could be in the last days and may no longer be a good time to get married. You can bet on it, or not.

It does not apply to everyone. But, it does apply to the masses and with over 60% of men likely to never marry in this society, that's a pretty big problem that's going to wreck havoc in the world in the coming years.

I believe we could also be in the last days as well... I was single by circumstance back when I was younger and now it's by choice being older. Too much nonsense and chaos out there, just like Paul witnessed in the town of Corinth. I still wish I had someone, of any level of depth to talk to. I have acquaintances but never had a real friend/partner, ever and that has always bothered me. I am fine alone but when I do get around people, I feel lonely so maybe I'm just meant to be alone. I get massages once every 2 weeks to help relieve my skin hunger problem.

 

[pc_76]

And yet God had many prophets who never married. They died single.

Perhaps God only meant it for Adam only because Adam was literally alone at that time like literally the only man on Earth or Eden, etc, at that time.

It's not a rule nor law, just an option. An option that may or may not be good depending on circumstances. There were instances where marriage is seen as generally negative in the Bible like in the days of Noah, in the last days, and from Apostle Paul's writings.

We could be in the last days and may no longer be a good time to get married. You can bet on it, or not.

And there is going to be no more marriages in Heaven or anything that resembles marriage. Woo-pee. So much for that great design.

 

[timewerx]

And there is going to be no more marriages in Heaven or anything that resembles marriage. Woo-pee. So much for that great design.

We were needed to fill the Earth twice. In the beginning and after the flood. In those times, procreation was very important.

In the coming life, people didn't die anymore, at least WE didn't which means procreation is no longer needed. People are like children in the Kingdom of God and they were indeed. They all seem to lack the need for coupling and were idealists in nature just like children.

Procreation wasn't important in times of over-population as well.

When God commanded humanity to "fill the Earth" it wasn't just a matter of increasing our numbers but also to venture out. To go far beyond our place of birth. To settle far and wide and NOT congregate in one place in large numbers like we see in cities. Congestion is NOT God's plan for us but the devil's.

Crime, congestion, destitution/poverty, pollution, disease, uncleanliness, immorality are all products of people living in close proximity to each other in large numbers. It happened first in the Tower of Babel in the world's first large city and God scattered everyone far and wide to teach us the right way to live.

The Earth could only sustain a non-congested population up to the times of Ancient Egypt. Come New Testament, and the time of Christ's birth on Earth, the Earth was already over-populated then and the followers of God no longer had the urgency to get married because further congestion would only keep on worsening living conditions here on Earth as well as destroying natural habitats.

It probably isn't what the Apostles have in mind but they could certainly sense it isn't important anymore.

 

[Sir Robbins]

Crime, congestion, destitution/poverty, pollution, disease, uncleanliness, immorality are all products of people living in close proximity to each other in large numbers. It happened first in the Tower of Babel in the world's first large city and God scattered everyone far and wide to teach us the right way to live.

This is why many wealthy folks buy land, have homes on several acres and live out a bit from the inner city as they know these things come with being too close to too many people.

 

[aNewMan]

Unfortunately I think a lot of Christians likely unintentionally made marriage somewhat of a Golden Calf, with married Christians and church leadership kind of giving the unintentional impression that singleness is a lesser/inferior state than being married.

I have a different view, God cares more about our Salvation than whether a Christian marries in this life or not.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

A Christian single is NEVER alone, he or she has the Holy Spirit.

Because apostle Paul said if you can help it, it's better to be single for the sake of the Lord.

The amount of resentment I have for anyone who brings up this line of thought is beyond the words Christianforums would let me use.

No, it's not necessarily better to remain single. No amount of telling single folks who want partners this is going to magically make things better.

 

[timewerx]

The amount of resentment I have for anyone who brings up this line of thought is beyond the words Christianforums would let me use.

No, it's not necessarily better to remain single. No amount of telling single folks who want partners this is going to magically make things better.

I'm sorry. I never meant my post to make anyone feel bad about themselves.

I understand exactly what you feel. I just don't always realize how the things I say would affect others. This is on me absolutely.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Figured I'd bump this thread as with the state of people are leading more and more solitary lives, it's sad. If you google "the loneliness epidemic for men", you'll see a ton of topics on this.

It's leading men or just people in general into a state of depression and other mentally unhealthy states.

This is much worse in young adults (ages 20s and 30s)

It's been happening in Japan for a while now, as people are doing less and less in-person gatherings. People glued to their phones and social media

 

[Sir Robbins]

I bought a game system (Xbox Series X) for the first time in 14 years just a few months ago. I never thought I'd touch one again after 2009 but here I am.

 

[Godcrazy]

I hear that a lot and certainly understand the statement. I've run into Christians who see two types of Christians. Those given the "gift of singleness", and called to a life of service, or everyone else. I would suggest a third. Those who may not have the true gift of singleness yet wounded by life and not fit for marriage. I think that may be the hardest state to be in. You are not totally at home staying single but also not at home being married. I believe God intended for us to be in one of the two states mentioned above but sin has brought about this third state.

I have a happily married, well-meaning sister who keeps hinting "church is a great place for single guys" and "you never know who you might meet." It's not just that she would like to see me meet a godly woman, but it also worries her that I attend services over the web. She and her husband are active in their church often volunteering and participating. I grew up with Attachment Disorder and have Social Anxiety. Going to small groups or hanging out after church and talking are not comfortable for me. I used to get upset to my stomach in anticipation of going to a small group and was always the first person out the door when it ended. The people were great but standing around talking in the midst of all those people just was nerve-wracking for me.

My sister just doesn't understand. Most people assume the cure to social anxiety is to just slowly spend more time around people. That might work for some, but if it's deeply ingrained in you, no amount of time socializing may change it. I prefer to be alone or with one other person at most. This has made relationships very difficult. Most social interaction is built around conversation. You might attend some event but often the event is more of a setting in which to have conversation. I run out of things to talk about. Most of what I hear people talk about is of little interest to me. My mind is less interested in the day-to-day and more into science, theology, learning. I never read fiction. Just non-fiction. Talking about people, and our interactions with them, doesn't do it for me. I find dating stressful because I can't think of what to ask my date out to do.

I hope my sister comes to understand me. I don't hate people. I do interact just in doses. I will never be the busy bee at church. I also get tired of the frequent family references. It's like us singles don't exist. Sometimes I feel the church treats older singles as self-centered, selfish, probably engaging in all manner of sin as we don't have a spouse. I have been married twice so I've tried it. I'll never fit the mold. I love my kids but I don't care if I am ever a grandparent. I don't need grandchildren to be fulfilled. I don't need to spend holidays with family. Maybe it's good for some men to be alone...

I hear you.
Have you tried meds for your anxiety? just asking no, no need there might be other ways to soothe. untraditional ways. relaxing, herbs everything. relaxing therapy. they say EFT might help. It is known to reduce anxiety.
No those people like your sister will most likely never understand because you are totally different to the "norm". Even without your problems. self acceptance is important. I have never been married but I was in the world a long time and into the new age a long time where I lived with another introvert man for like 5 years or so before he turned mentally ill and physically because of his severe childhood abuse. I helped him with it, then he went into the new age, meditated a lot and got in touch with a spirit he believed to be my higher self, (yeah, right) and who told him to do things that was evil towards me, and to smoke, be abusive, endure embarrassing and painful situations and do to himself and told him a lot of lies. we never had any intimacy, by the way. we agreed only when procreation according to the beliefs then. He changed that when the spirit tried to coerce him to it and he tried with me it did not work, I was not remotely interested. we had separate rooms too something I love. you get a sense of your own self. and privacy. again classic introvert. (in old days this was common) so he moved away, "for healing" that never came of course, the entity convinced him to come and go, not contact me for long periods to surface all of a sudden, expecting, trying, be abusive to mix it with being normal. what was mental health there and the entity and him I do not know. but I know it chided it. He refused to give me his address but kept talking how he was living basically, a sofa a tv and lots of games, the entity convinced him not to tell me his address and play video games. I can continue but you get the picture.
So he made a commitment, from the get go off. He was different, empathic, and then it changed. yes I have told him the gospel many times. when I have sit and prayed for him he has said strange things, like, "you believe in him.... that`s not going to save you.." or my prayers made his pain stop. He thanked me when that happened. He have always wanted God. He has said he has tried christianity, "but it didn`t work for him" as in nothing happened. He can`t believe Jesus died on the cross. He believes the new age version, and christ consciousness.
anyway.

 

[Godcrazy]

But he was an introvert, and we got along well, before everything. He is the only one that have not disturbed and let you be yourself. He has never zapped my energy. And the deep conversations on a totally another level. something i crave.

 

[Godcrazy]

I totally get what you say about no depth in conversations. I tired quickly. I can do it if I have to but I prefer not to. I do it to be polite but that is it. It doesn`t give me anything and the topics does NOT interest me. I like psychology, space, theological, end times. work for God etc. I only have negative words to say about chit chat! as well as "the norm". crossing myself

 

[Godcrazy]

My kids were largely homeschooled but did some or all of high school in either a charter school or regular local high school. I remember getting cornered by this "friend" after church who was shocked that I would allow my son to attend this charter school. He all but said I was in sin for doing so. How quickly personal preferences and convictions become law and a basis for judging others.

That is sad it has nothing to do with God and his expectations for us. Man, I am sorry. but I absolutely cannot stand things like this. the mentality.

 

[Godcrazy]

I had a lively discussion with a pastor of a family-centric church in Washington about this. His perspective is that you are either called to be married or you are given the gift of singleness. He sees that as a 99/1% ratio (or 99.9/0.1). He believes it's best to marry young not too many years out of high school. Waiting breeds independence and brings on sexual temptation. Best to be married and have a spouse to help you stay on the straight and narrow. Children should also come along soon (he has 9). Children teach us not to be selfish and keep couples from having too much time on their hands to spend on frivolous things. He also believes we are to be raising godly children to be the next generation of Christians (can't argue with that one IF you have children). Singles are expected to either be young and on the lookout for marriage or an older widow too old to remarry. I'm not sure divorce or people with struggles and hardships exist in their perfect society.

The progression is that you are born into a family. You grow up in that family and stay connected until you marry. You marry and start your own family. You raise that family and hopefully, your children follow the plan and marry young and supply you with grandchildren. Now you become the doting grandparents helping your children in raising them. It's one state of family to the next for life and you are rarely ever living alone. Unless you are truly called to be single, living single tends to lead to a selfish life and probably a sinful one. I asked him how someone over 30 who had never married would feel in his church. He admitted they would probably feel awkward.

Some churches embrace singles of all ages and try to help them connect. Other churches see singles (beyond a certain age) as an embarrassment they would rather pretend don't exist. Most churches emphasize how family-friendly they are and how many programs they have for kids. My church calls their collection of mid-week ministries "Family Wednesdays." I am divorced with grown kids who don't go to my church. None are married so I have no grandchildren. Where does that leave me? My church is not like the church in Washington I mentioned. Nothing that extreme but I still feel like an outcast.

Since I am not that social it doesn't bother me as much as it might otherwise. Maybe someday I will have a wife again to go to church with. Maybe. I highly doubt I will meet her at church. I also do better with younger dates. Women my age rarely interest me. I also don't want to marry someone whose whole focus in life now is being a grandmother. No offense to grandmothers and God bless them but since I grew up in a highly dysfunctional family with an alcoholic mother, I just don't have that tight-knit, hang out with family all the time, gene. I would rather spend holidays with just my spouse than running around to visit different parts of the combined families. I have not really celebrated a holiday in years. I appreciate the Christian meaning of some but in general treat them like any other day.

That is a mindset that does not apply to a modern society. Not that it is wrong, but we have many people that for any reason do not find someone to marry, or that prefer to live by themselves for a various reasons. You are not that mature or mentally well developed when you are very young to enter marriage. you are still developing It is wise to get yourself an education and get to know yourself and your habits before marriage. For not talk about marry the wrong one. that happens more often if you marry too young. same with kids. you have to be able to take care of them mentally and emotionally and physically. often that is more guaranteed if you have all the other bits first. In my country, scandinavia, it is like this. Not many marry before 30. Education is a must and a job, and being able to take care of kids for not talk about marry the right person. we are a very free spirit equality minded society where half the population are single and it is NOT looked down on or treated differently. women are strong minded and voice their opinions on same basis as everyone else and it is treated as normal as well as split childcare days off. because I grew up this way and it is my basis I can easy see that the other model applies more to a more older society. it can be adjusted, taking everything else into account. but to believe you have to marry young you have to have kids young you have to have to NO NO! it has nothing to do with the bible but culture.

as long as you follow the bible.. you can be married, un married, have kids or not! when you want! study or not

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

I hear you.
Have you tried meds for your anxiety? just asking no, no need there might be other ways to soothe. untraditional ways. relaxing, herbs everything. relaxing therapy. they say EFT might help. It is known to reduce anxiety.
No those people like your sister will most likely never understand because you are totally different to the "norm". Even without your problems. self acceptance is important. I have never been married but I was in the world a long time and into the new age a long time where I lived with another introvert man for like 5 years or so before he turned mentally ill and physically because of his severe childhood abuse. I helped him with it, then he went into the new age, meditated a lot and got in touch with a spirit he believed to be my higher self, (yeah, right) and who told him to do things that was evil towards me, and to smoke, be abusive, endure embarrassing and painful situations and do to himself and told him a lot of lies. we never had any intimacy, by the way. we agreed only when procreation according to the beliefs then. He changed that when the spirit tried to coerce him to it and he tried with me it did not work, I was not remotely interested. we had separate rooms too something I love. you get a sense of your own self. and privacy. again classic introvert. (in old days this was common) so he moved away, "for healing" that never came of course, the entity convinced him to come and go, not contact me for long periods to surface all of a sudden, expecting, trying, be abusive to mix it with being normal. what was mental health there and the entity and him I do not know. but I know it chided it. He refused to give me his address but kept talking how he was living basically, a sofa a tv and lots of games, the entity convinced him not to tell me his address and play video games. I can continue but you get the picture.
So he made a commitment, from the get go off. He was different, empathic, and then it changed. yes I have told him the gospel many times. when I have sit and prayed for him he has said strange things, like, "you believe in him.... that`s not going to save you.." or my prayers made his pain stop. He thanked me when that happened. He have always wanted God. He has said he has tried christianity, "but it didn`t work for him" as in nothing happened. He can`t believe Jesus died on the cross. He believes the new age version, and christ consciousness.
anyway.

I am on very low levels of meds for anxiety, and maybe on my way to stopping. I don't really get anxious. It's more like stress, but sometimes I don't know what triggers it.

I may be able to be in a relationship with another introvert. Maybe. We might be more like roommates though. Hard to say. I also did not know affection as a child, and while I love a good hug, I have never been overly affectionate though not cold. I don't have strong emotions. My range of emotions is more narrow than most people. Not big highs and not big lows. I don't experience a lot of physical pleasure either. I don't care much for food. Yet, I am well-liked and fun. It's just that on my own I tend to keep to myself. I can go weeks without contact with another person and be just fine. That is, face-to-face contact or verbal contact. I rarely talk on the phone. Maybe with my sister once a month. I have not made a lasting friend in the last 30 years. I have no social friends. I have had lots of friends come and go but no one that has really stuck. I just don't look to people for support. I am used to handling everything by myself. People always say how important it is to have a support network, but people like me just learn to handle everything alone. I spent 5 days in a hospital by myself. No visitors. To me that was just normal. Expected. I don't expect people to come help me or visit me.

So it's different but "normal" to me.