Is this women being deceitful women with me ?

[QuestionQuest74]

Im dating a Christian woman and she told me she wants me to be more romantic with her after she told me that i did that and adjusted with her pursued her and we even kissed even though we are not in committed relationship.Told her my personal issues AND NOW she is saying the last date i had with her I was romantic but she doesn’t know if I have a romantic side and she says im not being vulnerable with her. She lives far from me and I go all the way to see her but when it’s her turn to see me she meets me half way. I don’t understand how she feels im not giving enough effort even when the physical affection im the one initiating and im telling her as Christians we got walk slowly into things and it seems she doesn’t understand even though it seemed like she was a Godly woman. I even asked for a preacher to be involved in our relationship and she was hesitant about that.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Im dating a Christian woman and she told me she wants me to be more romantic with her after she told me that i did that and adjusted with her pursued her and we even kissed even though we are not in committed relationship.Told her my personal issues AND NOW she is saying the last date i had with her I was romantic but she doesn’t know if I have a romantic side and she says im not being vulnerable with her. She lives far from me and I go all the way to see her but when it’s her turn to see me she meets me half way. I don’t understand how she feels im not giving enough effort even when the physical affection im the one initiating and im telling her as Christians we got walk slowly into things and it seems she doesn’t understand even though it seemed like she was a Godly woman. I even asked for a preacher to be involved in our relationship and she was hesitant about that.

Is she being deceitful? Your guess is as good as anyone else's could ever be here, QQ74.

Do you by chance know what she means precisely by the term, "... being romantic"?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that she's only meeting you half way because she's having serious doubts about relating with you.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

Is she being deceitful? Your guess is as good as anyone else's could ever be here, QQ74.

Do you by chance know what she means precisely by the term, "... being romantic"?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that she's only meeting you half way because she's having serious doubts about relating with you.

Is she being deceitful? Your guess is as good as anyone else's could ever be here, QQ74.

Do you by chance know what she means precisely by the term, "... being romantic"?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that she's only meeting you half way because she's having serious doubts about relating with you.

When it seems like Romantic it seems like she means physical touch & compliments I'm the one initiating all of that and i am slow with the physical affection because I don’t want to fall into sexual temptation . And when i show it she pulls back.

 

[Freth]

She sounds awful demanding for a person you're just dating. In my experience, if a woman is nitpicking about things before you're even in a relationship, then she has issues that she needs to resolve. Namely, she needs to grow up and stop being selfish and having unrealistic expectations. It can also be an indicator of mental issues.

I would stand up to her and confront her about how she's treating you, and if she doesn't stop what she's doing I would move on, because you're asking for a long protracted drag through the mud if you let her treat you that way, or be demanding like that. I spent a good part of my life catering to the whims of women like this, who manipulate and move goalposts because they're not happy with themselves. It's not worth it, just walk away.

That's not to say that if you find a good woman you shouldn't give it an honest effort, you should, but a good woman isn't going to make nagging demands of you, she is going to accept you for who you are and not try to change you.

Those are my thoughts.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

When it seems like Romantic it seems like she means physical touch & compliments I'm the one initiating all of that and i am slow with the physical affection because I don’t want to fall into sexual temptation . And when i show it she pulls back.

Drop her and go on. She's too much work, and I think she's hedging.

Oh, and one more thing. Don't go pulling all of your "personal issues" out and presenting them to whomever you're dating, especially if she's not doing the same for your. It just gives that lady the idea you're less stable than you may actually be. Yeah, ... just don't do that.

Keep in mind that women (most of them anyone) want to know they're entering into a mutually supportive and mostly stable relationship. They don't want a major emotional project to have to contend with. Of course, on the flip side, neither should you want that either.

 

[com7fy8]

Im dating a Christian woman and she told me she wants me to be more romantic with her after she told me that i did that and adjusted with her pursued her and we even kissed even though we are not in committed relationship.Told her my personal issues AND NOW she is saying the last date i had with her I was romantic but she doesn’t know if I have a romantic side and she says im not being vulnerable with her.

Well, I would kiss someone because I have affection for her; but feelings alone can be because of what is superficial. The kiss could be superficial if we have not really gotten to know each other. But if I trust her because I have gotten to know her, the same kiss could mean a lot more . . . same quantity but much more quality.

I would say you need to get to know her before going on from here. And yes this should include sharing with your special people who help you grow in Jesus, so these people can help you two.

But if she is mainly isolating with you . . . that can limit you from how more mature Christians can help you grow and relate. I would not inbreed only or mainly with how she wants you to do things! But make sure you are praying with God, and sharing with mature people who have done well in relationships.

 

[anetazo]

You don't need preacher involved. First Corinthians chapter 2 to document spirtual discernment.

If your Christian, you need to practice spirtual discernment.

I'm not judging anyone.

Just because someone claims to be Christian, doesn't mean that they are.

I dated catholic in 1997. I converted to christianity in 2000.

She was gold digger and habitual liar.

Second Timothy the 3 . We're in perilous times. Theirs lot of rotten people in the world.
Some people will use churches as smoke screen. Get the picture.

My opinion. I would cut off contact. And stay single.

It's my honest advice. Take care.

 

[Rescued One]

I'm a female. I married, never divorced and never made those cryptic comments. We were married forty-two plus years before he succumbed to cancer. There were times we disagreed because we weren't clones.

That woman sounds like she has issues. That's a warning.

 

[Richard T]

You have some good comments from other posters but it's hard to know what is in this woman's mind. Try focusing specifically on her. What is she sensitive too? What does it mean to her to be romantic? What moves and motivates her? Find out her movies, music and her deep feelings. If she is still hanging out with you she is waiting for some kind of breakthrough moment where you start to really understand her. Yes, the easiest thing is to walk away, but it does seem like a good opportunity for you to really soul search and go deeper if you want too. That kind of empathy and sensitivity will serve you well, even if you move on from her. God bless

 

[QuestionQuest74]

You have some good comments from other posters but it's hard to know what is in this woman's mind. Try focusing specifically on her. What is she sensitive too? What does it mean to her to be romantic? What moves and motivates her? Find out her movies, music and her deep feelings. If she is still hanging out with you she is waiting for some kind of breakthrough moment where you start to really understand her. Yes, the easiest thing is to walk away, but it does seem like a good opportunity for you to really soul search and go deeper if you want too. That kind of empathy and sensitivity will serve you well, even if you move on from her. God bless

She likes compliments like how beautiful she is and I give her that but she acts like it’s not enough and then denies i even called her beautiful.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

Is she being deceitful? Your guess is as good as anyone else's could ever be here, QQ74.

Do you by chance know what she means precisely by the term, "... being romantic"?

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that she's only meeting you half way because she's having serious doubts about relating with you.

And it’s funny when I told her yeah maybe we don’t got alot in common she tells me no we do and says i just don’t show interest in her

 

[2PhiloVoid]

And it’s funny when I told her yeah maybe we don’t got alot in common she tells me no we do and says i just don’t show interest in her

Ok. That's something at least. But in what specific way is she saying that she thinks you don't show interest in her.

What does she expect you to do to make it "clear"?

 

[Richard T]

If I go the other way some women (or men) can never be happy, their idea of a mate is far too unrealistic, they sabotage relationships or they can be just too self centered. I pray it is not this girl and that the Holy Spirit can lead you in this.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

Ok. That's something at least. But in what specific way is she saying that she thinks you don't show interest in her.

What does she expect you to do to make it "clear"?

Tell her how beautiful she is and get more expressive in my compliments tell her she is beautiful and pretty which i told her she was and she said I never told her she was pretty. She said she needed more physical affection from me and what more could we do besides light kissing and she never initiated holding hands or cuddling.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Tell her how beautiful she is and get more expressive in my compliments tell her she is beautiful and pretty which i told her she was and she said I never told her she was pretty. She said she needed more physical affection from me and what more could we do besides light kissing and she never initiated holding hands or cuddling.

Yeah. That's just the problem. Please tell me she's not one of those gals who expects a guy to just casually and quickly jump into bed with her ........

.... in order to make her feel "loved and special."

 

[QuestionQuest74]

I suspect you go for gorgeous women. My brother liked glamorous women. They were looking for wealth. He had a very short marriage and never tried it again.

My husband was from a tiny town where everyone was poor. He settled for me, a very ordinary person. My husband had joined the military. Otherwise we wouldn't have met. We were very middle class and never fought about money.

Yeah but she started dating me when i was off and on with jobs and she knew that when i got a good stable job she started acting different.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

Yeah. That's just the problem. Please tell me she's not one of those gals who expects a guy to just casually and quickly jump into bed with her ........

.... in order to make her feel "loved and special."

I don’t know honestly she is a Christian women and she knew I was a Christian guy so I don’t how much physical affection was she expecting. She also told me she never been in a Christian relationship before but she said when she dated men in the world in the past and they showed her physical affection that didn’t go towards sex. So I don’t know what she was talking about im sure they was expecting sex but that’s my assumption

 

[QuestionQuest74]

uh...yeah, she was lying. she definitely put out before.

Wouldn’t be surprised. What does put out means ?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I don’t know honestly she is a Christian women and she knew I was a Christian guy so I don’t how much physical affection was she expecting. She also told me she never been in a Christian relationship before but she said when she dated men in the world in the past and they showed her physical affection that didn’t go towards sex. So I don’t know what she was talking about im sure they was expecting sex but that’s my assumption

You can give her the benefit of the doubt if you feel you should. But whatever the moral quality of her actual expectations are, she's going to need to be more specific with you. At some point, she needs to show that she's willing to work it all out with you rather than offering you obfuscated allusions as to what it is she'd "like for you to do."

 

[LennyChataeu]

Im dating a Christian woman and she told me she wants me to be more romantic with her after she told me that i did that and adjusted with her pursued her and we even kissed even though we are not in committed relationship.Told her my personal issues AND NOW she is saying the last date i had with her I was romantic but she doesn’t know if I have a romantic side and she says im not being vulnerable with her. She lives far from me and I go all the way to see her but when it’s her turn to see me she meets me half way. I don’t understand how she feels im not giving enough effort even when the physical affection im the one initiating and im telling her as Christians we got walk slowly into things and it seems she doesn’t understand even though it seemed like she was a Godly woman. I even asked for a preacher to be involved in our relationship and she was hesitant about that.

Women are not sugar, spice and everything nice. As a feature of a woman she is trying to select the best possible mate, of which she does a series of tests (unconsciously). What she is testing is if you can hold frame in the relationship. She is supposed to step into your domain, your world. You lead. You failed the test. It should not matter what she says, asking you to be more romantic or whatever.

You ought not, in general, do what a woman asks you to do. You follow God and she follows you. You set the boundaries and she complies.