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DeerGlow

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I understand that I fear it too sometimes but afterwards it's so liberating. Take that leap God has you and I believe His Angel's are assigned to us to step in for protection if need be.
You're not alone in both Testaments are disciples flawed but evangelising!

A lot of my evangelism attempts end up in me questioning myself instead of helping anyone.
 
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Saint Beloved

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A few years ago when I was feeling as lost as you are I kept thinking of that line 'you get out what you put in' and my faith and relationship with God was summed up by that at the time.

I'd pray in emergencies and had faith that He was there but we weren't talking. I didn't read my Bible or go to church on a regular basis. I was just plodding along not happy, not sad, just very numb and neutral, distracting myself with consumerism and intellectual pursuits.

I started making an effort to put more into my relationship. To talk to Him more, include Him more, study more, be guided more. It changed me. Now I have to run to catch Him up it's exciting and deep! I had to learn where my talents were (study and solitary based) and work with them not against my nature or be jealous of others talents (extroverts, intellectuals).

You'll get there :) what is it C S Lewis says in Screwtape Letters? The Christian life has cliffs and troughs? You're in a trough but a cliff with come again soon.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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I want to be saved but I'm afraid I don't believe or can't be saved and I'm scared I want to be safe.
Yeah you need that holy spirit power.
 
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Saint Beloved

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A lot of my evangelism attempts end up in me questioning myself instead of helping anyone.

That's good that's helpful always good to check in and see does this statement still serve is it a trend is it sound and unchanging...
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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A few years ago when I was feeling as lost as you are I kept thinking of that line 'you get out what you put in' and my faith and relationship with God was summed up by that at the time.

I'd pray in emergencies and had faith that He was there but we weren't talking. I didn't read my Bible or go to church on a regular basis. I was just plodding along not happy, not sad, just very numb and neutral, distracting myself with consumerism and intellectual pursuits.

I started making an effort to put more into my relationship. To talk to Him more, include Him more, study more, be guided more. It changed me. Now I have to run to catch Him up it's exciting and deep! I had to learn where my talents were (study and solitary based) and work with them not against my nature or be jealous of others talents (extroverts, intellectuals).

You'll get there :) what is it C S Lewis says in Screwtape Letters? The Christian life has cliffs and troughs? You're in a trough but a cliff with come again soon.
I think you're right...ill try again but I'm very afraid of being disappointed. But ill try again..
 
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DeerGlow

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A few years ago when I was feeling as lost as you are I kept thinking of that line 'you get out what you put in' and my faith and relationship with God was summed up by that at the time.

I'd pray in emergencies and had faith that He was there but we weren't talking. I didn't read my Bible or go to church on a regular basis. I was just plodding along not happy, not sad, just very numb and neutral, distracting myself with consumerism and intellectual pursuits.

I started making an effort to put more into my relationship. To talk to Him more, include Him more, study more, be guided more. It changed me. Now I have to run to catch Him up it's exciting and deep! I had to learn where my talents were (study and solitary based) and work with them not against my nature or be jealous of others talents (extroverts, intellectuals).

You'll get there :) what is it C S Lewis says in Screwtape Letters? The Christian life has cliffs and troughs? You're in a trough but a cliff with come again soon.

I just want to be safe and rest in God like I used to. I remember being so much more serene as a kid.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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I've been baptised, filled with the HS? I don't know. I'm afraid.
Holy spirit. ...when the holy spirit comes in other stuff has to leave.
 
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friend of

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I am afraid my heart doesn't really believe. And I have so many blasphemous thoughts, I sin A LOT. I am afraid of hell but I still SIN so much. And I don't think fear equals remorse or contrition for me. Fear of punishment doesn't mean guilt for sin. I'm afraid I'm not really convicted, not believing, now saved.

Luke 7:47

Psalms 51:17

It sounds like both you and Far Side are expecting some sort of physical sensation to confirm salvation. In my experience, that's not how it works exactly. I felt the same way before realizing that repentance is a lifelong process and it takes a bit of jostling from an old lifestyle but then it gets easier. Learn to desire to turn away from SIN. What is so appealing about it? Ask yourself why it's so difficult to let sinful practices go progressively. If you (personally) can find a way to start cutting back on the gross sin you are engaging in (by your account) then you'll have more confidence about coming to Jesus in prayer and you won't feel you need to be fearful anymore.

1 Corinthians 16:56-57
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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I just want to be safe and rest in God like I used to. I remember being so much more serene as a kid.
What set off your anxiety?
 
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