Is there anyone there?

[Michie]

Michie, I think you might be. I do not know how Americans who come to live here find us. But yes, the stiff upper lip thing is very strong.

I was told not to cry in Church, and I was told to psyche myself up before I went so that I didnt cry. It was awful. Mi stopped going for a while until I knew I could go without crying. It was such a terrible strain. Even if someone dies, here, the relatives will [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ibly cry at the funeral, but then that will be it. We are expected to bear it stoically.

I do not like our society. We are told to "Move on" if we dusplay any pain for any length of time. This REALLY gets to me.

But.......oh well......

Balance is the key. Either extreme is unhealthy. I just do not like the attitude as seeing pain as weakness. I think that is cruel. And feeds into the mentality that people in pain are an inconvenience. Seems very cold and distant.

 

[anjelica]

Michie I totally agree. But that is often how it is. We are expected to be Stoic. I hardly ever cry publicly. I daren't. Yet inside I am aching. And the pain of holding on starts me feeling sick and shaky and I feel weak abd as if I will pass out. And that is through not being able to let it out. It is horrid.

 

[Michie]

Yes and unhealthy. Sounds like a quick trip to an ulcer!

Michie I totally agree. But that is often how it is. We are expected to be Stoic. I hardly ever cry publicly. I daren't. Yet inside I am aching. And the pain of holding on starts me feeling sick and shaky and I feel weak abd as if I will pass out. And that is through not being able to let it out. It is horrid.

 

[anjelica]

LOL Michie.

Well, I am going to sleep now, hopefully! See you tomorrow

 

[Michie]

Sweet dreams angelica!

LOL Michie.

Well, I am going to sleep now, hopefully! See you tomorrow

 

[anjelica]

I have had ab AWFUL night.
The hospital and medical profession has just LEFT me. I keep getting more and more loss of sight and one eye is blackness at times. No one cares. I can't take it any more. There is no one to help me. We are plaguing the hospital. No one will help.

 

[Michie]

I just can't believe how things work there.

 

[anjelica]

Oh Michie, you are still around. I thought you would be in bed!

Our hospital is in Soecial Measures as it is on the bottom of tha list in the UK. A bad hospital, but we are putting in Complaint after Complaint.

I need help

 

[anjelica]

I am so tired of fighting on so many fro nts. I am overwhelmed. I feel like gicing up.

 

[Michie]

I can understand that angelica. Keep trying though. That is the only way things can fall into place eventually. Frustrating as it is.

I am so tired of fighting on so many fro nts. I am overwhelmed. I feel like gicing up.

 

[anjelica]

I have lost my strength. I need the strength of others now. I am in constant phtsical pain, suffer from bad fatigue, and just sometimes can hardly drag my body out of bed anyway. I truly do not know where this is going. I am on a downer!

 

[Michie]

I have lost my strength. I need the strength of others now. I am in constant phtsical pain, suffer from bad fatigue, and just sometimes can hardly drag my body out of bed anyway. I truly do not know where this is going. I am on a downer!

I'm praying God brings someone into your life to help you and step in when you need it. If I were in the area I would help if I could. I'm just so sorry angelica. I'm still a bit upset that there is nobody in your parish willing to help.

 

[anjelica]

Michie, thankyou. I know how much you care. You are so good.

I am speaking to someone today, but it is an Anglican vicar. He is prepared to give me time to talk. I can do no other now. Some would criticise me for this, but needs must. He is a human being who cares.
Lwe are going to,push the hospital more today as well

 

[Winter]

Michie, thankyou. I know how much you care. You are so good.

I am speaking to someone today, but it is an Anglican vicar. He is prepared to give me time to talk. I can do no other now. Some would criticise me for this, but needs must. He is a human being who cares.
Lwe are going to,push the hospital more today as well

That's good. I'm glad he can stop by.

 

[Michie]

Let us know how it goes angelica.

 

[anjelica]

Hi there. It went well today. I know this man very well indeed as he has beeen in our town for many years and lots of ppl know him. With the Church if Zengland being the State Church, their vicars are into all walks of life, and get known in the towns.

He is from anparish in a run down area with all sorts of ppl in his parish,which makes him very understanding of human beings. A good man.

I met him at the Church, in the Church Hall. He helped a lot. Just be being there. We talked a LOT about where I had come to, which was living in the present moment, and God being in that moment. Have you ever read Abandonment to Divine Provudence by de Caussade? Well, when I had this deep experience of being with God in thenpresent moment, i felt the deepest peace I have ever felt. But at the weekend it got destroyed by what happened. I could not get that peace back. This vicar helped me get it back. I told him that God's greatest glory comes at the time of crucifixion and at the time of deepest suffering, both for Jesus and for us. He totally understood and told me not to lose the strength that I have and said I had been very strong indeed. That helped.

Then, whilst I was with him, hubby got a phone call from the hospital. They want me to see a cardiologist yrgently. Mind you, yrgent in our country can be two months or more LOL. So there is a bit of hope there now.

Lits has happened today and I feel like I am in a little boat bobbing aroundon a huge and angry sea LOL. Mi need my peace back!

 

[Michie]

Hi there. It went well today. I know this man very well indeed as he has beeen in our town for many years and lots of ppl know him. With the Church if Zengland being the State Church, their vicars are into all walks of life, and get known in the towns.

He is from anparish in a run down area with all sorts of ppl in his parish,which makes him very understanding of human beings. A good man.

I met him at the Church, in the Church Hall. He helped a lot. Just be being there. We talked a LOT about where I had come to, which was living in the present moment, and God being in that moment. Have you ever read Abandonment to Divine Provudence by de Caussade? Well, when I had this deep experience of being with God in thenpresent moment, i felt the deepest peace I have ever felt. But at the weekend it got destroyed by what happened. I could not get that peace back. This vicar helped me get it back. I told him that God's greatest glory comes at the time of crucifixion and at the time of deepest suffering, both for Jesus and for us. He totally understood and told me not to lose the strength that I have and said I had been very strong indeed. That helped.

Then, whilst I was with him, hubby got a phone call from the hospital. They want me to see a cardiologist yrgently. Mind you, yrgent in our country can be two months or more LOL. So there is a bit of hope there now.

Lits has happened today and I feel like I am in a little boat bobbing aroundon a huge and angry sea LOL. Mi need my peace back!

Praying for your peace angelica. I'm glad you are in better spirits today.

 

[Anhelyna]

I'm glad that talking with [ note 'with' not 'to' ] Jonathan has helped.

Now - back to writing poetry please That way you will get your peace back - I know you

 

[anjelica]

LOL Angelyna. Tends to be the other way around quite often. I might write about being bobbing around in the big sea in a land of uncertainty.

 

[Michie]

If I were you I'd be writing a very unchristian poem of popping some folks in the nose. ( I told you I am not as graceful about things as you!)