Is there anyone there?

[anjelica]

Thankyou Michie. I totally agree about crosses. That is exactly what I have said. I do not understand this man's theology at all.

Yes, zPope zfrancis would be very unhappy with this. He is all for the dusabled and people who are sick or in prison or whatever. And you know what? I reckon I will write to him. Or at least to the Vatucan.

 

[Michie]

You should write him along with your priest and Bishop.

Thankyou Michie. I totally agree about crosses. That is exactly what I have said. I do not understand this man's theology at all.

Yes, zPope zfrancis would be very unhappy with this. He is all for the dusabled and people who are sick or in prison or whatever. And you know what? I reckon I will write to him. Or at least to the Vatucan.

 

[anjelica]

I am not terribly thrilled with my priest either zmichie.

The other Church and priest is just as bad. When zi went into remission the other priest finally came to give me Communion and he was here only five minutes. He expected me to respond whilst still consuming the Host, and was straight out of the door. It was awful. That was. The first time I had seen a priest in six months. I jyst feel gutted. It was notlike this where we used to live in Derbyshire but we cannot go back there for financial reasons

 

[anjelica]

Good idea Michie.

 

[anjelica]

You know what - I am fighting the hispital at the moment, a parking fine that was duscriminatory, a legal case on our house that has been going on sice 2009, that we won but cant get the money out of the vendors (a lot of money), PIP, and various other things. I do not need the Church on top. My heart rate is all over the place as is my blood pressure, and oxygen levels keep going low. I am jyst plain tired. I need rest and peace. Not the Church adding all this on!

 

[Winter]

Rest in Christ. Rest in Jesus. Rest in Him. Let Him be your church for now.

 

[Michie]

So is Eucharistic ministry not a big thing there?

I am not terribly thrilled with my priest either zmichie.

The other Church and priest is just as bad. When zi went into remission the other priest finally came to give me Communion and he was here only five minutes. He expected me to respond whilst still consuming the Host, and was straight out of the door. It was awful. That was. The first time I had seen a priest in six months. I jyst feel gutted. It was notlike this where we used to live in Derbyshire but we cannot go back there for financial reasons

 

[anjelica]

We do have Eucharistic Ministers Michie, but they only go to certain ppl. I was never one of them. Mi never understood that. For six months no one came near me, even though I was at deats door. You know, when I think back, I can see how odd it was. I was too sick to know mych - i was out of it.,,but my husbabd kept the priest informed of what was going on. He could not come anyway because I was naked for all that time. But I never thought about Eucharistic Ministers. I could not have swallowed the Host anyway, then, but there are female Eucharistic Ministers. Yes, we have, since that time, wondered why I was not offered anything. Bob nevermpushed it, but then when I went into remission we were treated very badly anyway.

 

[anjelica]

I wish I understood. I have just woken up, and all that I feel now is all consuming fear. O nce again, I h ave lo sr. Somethin gmprec ious, and I h ave so much. Grief. In my life anyway .

 

[Winter]

I wish I understood. I have just woken up, and all that I feel now is all consuming fear. O nce again, I h ave lo sr. Somethin gmprec ious, and I h ave so much. Grief. In my life anyway .

((hug)). Don't be afraid.

 

[Michie]

Continued prayers angelica. Have I told you that blindness runs in my husband's side of the family? My father in law's parents were blind. His sister lost her sight as a teen. The fear and sleeplessness does happen when sighted people lose their sight. Has your doctor discussed these things with you at all?

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

Angelica, sister you continue to figure in my prayers.

Hail Mary our purest most precious gift the blessing sent from Christ our king, look down to your daughter Angelica and ease her pain and sufferings.

Dearest queen I'm not worthy of Putting your sacred, most venerable name in my sinful mouth but please hear my prayers for my sister Angelica if not for our sake so for the sake of Christ your son who redeemed the world through his suffering on the cross.
Sweet advocate please intercede for my sister in distress.

I beg you mother !!!


Amen.

 

[anjelica]

Thankyou. Thing is, I am alright as long as Incan get close to God in the Mass. It was my mainstay. Without that I flunser, which is what is happening.

Today there has been a good coversation with our priest - not thenold one from thenold Church,mbut the one who moved me on Sunday. He has explained his actions, and he is in no way wanting me pushed ot. He is teaining the Servers, and they won't go into theSanctuary because they will not sit facing the congregation, or where they can be seen. He has treading gently with them and eventually thenproblem will be resolved because they will go into the Sanctuary. Until then, I am to sit on the end of a pew in the main centre ausle, with Bob behind me. I think that is what he said.,,he does understand my feelings and said that a lot of the problem is that I do so well and am so happy and cheerful and cope so well that ppl would never know I am as sick as I am, or as blind as I am.

We seem to be getting somewhere. He is willing to talk with me spiritually if I want to but ge knows that I have united my will with that of God and that I luve in thempresent moment and that it only all went badly wrong on Sunday. He said I am an example to all of how to bear suffering.

So things might be looking up.

I do grieve, but there is nothing wrong in grieving the loss of your sight.

Michie, thankyou for telling me that. It helps. Mi am not a freak then!

 

[Michie]

Just do not mask your feelings angelica. Be true to yourself. Let people read you a bit. You do not have to be strong all the time. And it will help invite people into your life that truly want to help.

 

[anjelica]

Michie, thankyou. It is like walking a tightrope though, because whenever in the past I have let my feelings show, ppl have jydged me badly. They did at my old Church.

But you see, the happy, strong, confident, listening to and genuinely caring for other ppl bit is thereal me. Each,part is as real as thenother but p pl do not understand that.

This after noon at my writing group I was told I was wallowing in it b ecause for the first time ever in that group I write about my,pain at going blind. Nyet it was full of faith and hope and joy and dancing as well. That is what happens when you reveal yourself here

 

[Anhelyna]

I can see your priest's point of view - I think.

If he's training that number he needs to do it in 'batches' as a large number of 'trainees' will be distracting to everyone - including the new ones. Hopefully it won't be long before you can move back to the front.

I've seen wheelchairs at the ends of pews - it does seem to work pretty well

 

[Michie]

I just think showing when you need help or having a bad day should put out the welcome mat. The attitude of the 'stiff upper lip' seems a bit overboard there and does not cultivate compassion.

Michie, thankyou. It is like walking a tightrope though, because whenever in the past I have let my feelings show, ppl have jydged me badly. They did at my old Church.

But you see, the happy, strong, confident, listening to and genuinely caring for other ppl bit is thereal me. Each,part is as real as thenother but p pl do not understand that.

This after noon at my writing group I was told I was wallowing in it b ecause for the first time ever in that group I write about my,pain at going blind. Nyet it was full of faith and hope and joy and dancing as well. That is what happens when you reveal yourself here

 

[anjelica]

Michie,nyou have got it in one. But we cannot change cultur e and ours is very very different to yours. To do what you suggest would be to lise friends anyway, and then I would be even more isolated than I already am. I t may be possible once ppl know you much better, but until th en, it would be aluenating.,,it is sad but there it is. Mi was told NOT to cry in Church, and that is that. Mi will not make that mistake any more.

 

[Michie]

That is just incredibly sad. I would be lost there.

Michie,nyou have got it in one. But we cannot change cultur e and ours is very very different to yours. To do what you suggest would be to lise friends anyway, and then I would be even more isolated than I already am. I t may be possible once ppl know you much better, but until th en, it would be aluenating.,,it is sad but there it is. Mi was told NOT to cry in Church, and that is that. Mi will not make that mistake any more.

 

[anjelica]

Michie, I think you might be. I do not know how Americans who come to live here find us. But yes, the stiff upper lip thing is very strong.

I was told not to cry in Church, and I was told to psyche myself up before I went so that I didnt cry. It was awful. Mi stopped going for a while until I knew I could go without crying. It was such a terrible strain. Even if someone dies, here, the relatives will [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ibly cry at the funeral, but then that will be it. We are expected to bear it stoically.

I do not like our society. We are told to "Move on" if we dusplay any pain for any length of time. This REALLY gets to me.

But.......oh well......