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Is Singleness a Cross?
- Thread starter StaySalty
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songz777
Spouse first strengthens your marriage
- Apr 5, 2004
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remy said:
Umm indeed so and for me its been 20 yrs. Singleness indeed at times feels like a curse when all your friends, who have hardely waited bit months seemed to readily blest by God without barely a prayer to Him.
But there are many out there who have other hurts and pains or ill health
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bostonlass
sweet caroline ;)
StaySalty said:
I truly believe it is at a certain point in your life and I offer the pain up to God. At which point it becomes one, I don't know. . . I guess once a person hits their 20's.
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Singleness to me has pros and cons, thus I wouldn't think of it as a curse. A curse seems more apporiate for states of being offering no benefits you value.
Edit: Oops, misread the OP. For approximately the same reasoning I don't think singleness is a cross either.
Edit: Oops, misread the OP. For approximately the same reasoning I don't think singleness is a cross either.
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BeautyForAshes
Senior Veteran
It may be a cross to some, and a blessing to others. 
We all have crosses to bear, but it matters not what our cross is, but how we carry it.
We all have crosses to bear, but it matters not what our cross is, but how we carry it.
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At times it is a curse that is hard to bare. The pain feels worst than most things that I know including the pain that I see in others losing a love one.
It use to be law that ones younger family member could only get married if and only if the older ones were married. And if a younger one wanted to get married they would have to find a mate for the older singles ones first.
Sometimes, I wish we would go back to that times and those type of laws. Yes, it kind of force the happy older single person to marry. But they could have said "No" instead of "I Do". Of course, this would stop the bloodline of that family from going on in the future. And on family member would ever want to do that.
It use to be law that ones younger family member could only get married if and only if the older ones were married. And if a younger one wanted to get married they would have to find a mate for the older singles ones first.
Sometimes, I wish we would go back to that times and those type of laws. Yes, it kind of force the happy older single person to marry. But they could have said "No" instead of "I Do". Of course, this would stop the bloodline of that family from going on in the future. And on family member would ever want to do that.
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StaySalty said:
For some people, singleness could indeed be a 'cross'. But it's important to note that marriage can also be a 'cross'. Neither lifestyle is easy and perfect all the time. Both bring their own struggles and difficulties.
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chanis
"scru mpt rule cent ...&a
- Nov 22, 2004
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I don't think so at all..I'm enjoying being single and living life, there's so much that I am able to do that I wouldn't be able to if I were married...speaking of ministry, traveling, and just having fun...
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Highland Watchman
Keeping watch from my ebony tower
Granted, yes, there is the understanding that bearing a cross is tough and also that a person is cursed who dies while hung on a tree, but don't we also associate things negatively too easily? Does this mean that the Christian life is meant to be just a negative form of suffering?
I see a cross as a burden that must be carried, yes. And it is a statement that you do not follow the ways of the world (because to be crucified signified that you did something that broke the law, or that you are to be a political example of any who opposes the ruling forces.) But even in considering this, if a person chooses to go the way of the cross, I would almost think that this person is choosing to go a way different from the world.
Looking at the topic of singleness, I would think in this way that it can very much be a cross (but then yet, so can faithfulness in marriage as well), especially since the world is stressing the ways of polygamy, hedonism, and narcissism (namely more than one sexual partner, and the pursuit of personal pleasure and selfish gain above all things). So does being purposefully single and sexually pure stand against this statement? Is it something that your friends look at with contempt and ridicule you for? Or worse yet, do they pity you for this decision?
Granted, there are also the other personal struggles from within that we also bear in the single life. For one, there is the struggle of our sexuality... what does it mean to be a man without the context of being alongside a woman, and vice versa? Also, there is the question of loneliness and the statement that God himself made in Genesis that things were not good for Adam until he made Eve (thus stressing that it is not good for us to go at it alone, but that we need one another).
Is not the wisdom of God considered foolish to men, and the way of the cross ludicrous to those who are perishing? I mean, who would look to some poor carpenter guy who says some nice things, does some miraculous healings, then dies as a criminal, as a king, a messiah, a Deity? It is those of us, the followers of Christ who see the cross as the power of God defeating sin and death, and setting us free to live abundant and full lives and calling us to follow. As Bonhoeffer said, when Jesus calls us to follow him, he calls us to our death, or something like that...
And as followers of Christ, by taking up that cross (thus going a way different from what is considered wise and profitable by worldly standards) we are proclaiming our choice to follow after Christ. Ultimately, there are really three kinds of people in the world. There are those who do not acknowledge the lordship of Christ in any way, and we already know what happens to them. Second, there are those who proclaim God's praises with their lips but their actions show that their faith goes no further than believing in Christ... Yet, does not even Satan and his demons believe in the lordship of Christ, and behold how they tremble. Think about that for a second...
The third category of people are those who follow the way of Christ daily: who take up that cross, even if it may meen ridicule or pity or abuse by those around them (yes, even in the church); who willingly and faithfully obey God's commands and pursue the way of holiness and righteousness; who are not ashamed of the true gospel (as opposed to the cheapened and watered down varieties that we sometimes cling to), but who live their lives with utmost integrity, faithfulness and the hope of what God will bring, wherever he calls them. It is my hope and prayer that we all may become of the third category of people... those who can truly say at the end of their days, "I lived for Christ."
I see a cross as a burden that must be carried, yes. And it is a statement that you do not follow the ways of the world (because to be crucified signified that you did something that broke the law, or that you are to be a political example of any who opposes the ruling forces.) But even in considering this, if a person chooses to go the way of the cross, I would almost think that this person is choosing to go a way different from the world.
Looking at the topic of singleness, I would think in this way that it can very much be a cross (but then yet, so can faithfulness in marriage as well), especially since the world is stressing the ways of polygamy, hedonism, and narcissism (namely more than one sexual partner, and the pursuit of personal pleasure and selfish gain above all things). So does being purposefully single and sexually pure stand against this statement? Is it something that your friends look at with contempt and ridicule you for? Or worse yet, do they pity you for this decision?
Granted, there are also the other personal struggles from within that we also bear in the single life. For one, there is the struggle of our sexuality... what does it mean to be a man without the context of being alongside a woman, and vice versa? Also, there is the question of loneliness and the statement that God himself made in Genesis that things were not good for Adam until he made Eve (thus stressing that it is not good for us to go at it alone, but that we need one another).
Is not the wisdom of God considered foolish to men, and the way of the cross ludicrous to those who are perishing? I mean, who would look to some poor carpenter guy who says some nice things, does some miraculous healings, then dies as a criminal, as a king, a messiah, a Deity? It is those of us, the followers of Christ who see the cross as the power of God defeating sin and death, and setting us free to live abundant and full lives and calling us to follow. As Bonhoeffer said, when Jesus calls us to follow him, he calls us to our death, or something like that...
And as followers of Christ, by taking up that cross (thus going a way different from what is considered wise and profitable by worldly standards) we are proclaiming our choice to follow after Christ. Ultimately, there are really three kinds of people in the world. There are those who do not acknowledge the lordship of Christ in any way, and we already know what happens to them. Second, there are those who proclaim God's praises with their lips but their actions show that their faith goes no further than believing in Christ... Yet, does not even Satan and his demons believe in the lordship of Christ, and behold how they tremble. Think about that for a second...
The third category of people are those who follow the way of Christ daily: who take up that cross, even if it may meen ridicule or pity or abuse by those around them (yes, even in the church); who willingly and faithfully obey God's commands and pursue the way of holiness and righteousness; who are not ashamed of the true gospel (as opposed to the cheapened and watered down varieties that we sometimes cling to), but who live their lives with utmost integrity, faithfulness and the hope of what God will bring, wherever he calls them. It is my hope and prayer that we all may become of the third category of people... those who can truly say at the end of their days, "I lived for Christ."
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