Hi everyone! 
You might can tell, I am in a good mood right now at this minute!
You may or may not remember, I am a schizophrenic who is having trouble with her medicines. Well, you may also remember the doctor lowering my meds some more. I have some good news on that front: it seems to be working! Instead of sleeping 17 - 21 hours a day and still feeling tired, I am averaging around 11-12 hours of sleep everyday and am wide awoke! This is a miracle! However, so far that's how things are going. So far is the key, who knows what could happen from this decrease in medicine. It's only been 2 weeks. We'll see but I am enjoying it.
Anyway, I have problems but I don't have problems. I have money problems, but it can be fixed. I run out of money at the end of the month. All I have to do is allot more money to food expenses or cut back on eating out. I pay all of my bills and expenses and everything is current. I have family problems, but it's nothing abnormal or something families in the USA have not heard of. My big brother doesn't call or keep up with us, but he's living his life and that's just the way he is. He doesn't like mom smothering him and doesn't like to talk about his business. We recently saw him and his sons over the holidays and everyone seems to be doing fine, just not keeping up with them like we want. My sister has big problems but that's her life and her choices, there is nothing that can be done about it. Plus, it's really none of my business, that's her life. I get along really well with my parents and have a few friends. I don't have a significant other but I will have one someday. I am getting comfortable with the single life, and a significant other is needed but I have faith one day the right good man will come along. I keep my apartment clean, so clean that people come over and are constantly telling me my apartment is clean. With me having more energy and being awoke, I can clean it more and on a schedule.
I'm just indulging in hobbies (music, tv, movies, video games, news, and etc.) and enjoying life. I'm used to having more problems or problems bothering me more. I'm used to every time I turn around, here's a new problem or a problem just got worse. People do still make fun of me and laugh at me, but it's bothering me less and less everyday. A person laughed at me today, looked right dead at me, laughed in my face, and walked to his vehicle. I processed it, but it didn't hurt my feelings. I felt the negativity, but it didn't bother me. I noticed it but moved on and am not thinking about it much.By the way, if someone laughs at you and you just take it and move on, did it bother you if you felt negativity? Anyway, that used to be a huge problem for me. But ever since I've gotten closer to my creator, it's bothering me less and less.
I know I should not be complacent and think my life is perfect, but I am really starting to LOVE my life now. I know it's not perfect, but I've never been this happy before. I want this to continue but I know it may or may not.
My question is, should I forget about those problems or any problems and be happy? Or should I have a sports athlete's mentality, that there is always something to work on? I don't want to be complacent, but at the same time I know you should be happy no matter what in life. I just don't want to be let down.
What should I do? How should I think about happiness? Is happiness really fleeting?
Last but the most, I thank my creator for any and all of my positive and happiness or whatever this warm feeling is that feels so good. I thank everyone who has ever prayed for me. It feels like your prayers are being answered.
You might can tell, I am in a good mood right now at this minute! You may or may not remember, I am a schizophrenic who is having trouble with her medicines. Well, you may also remember the doctor lowering my meds some more. I have some good news on that front: it seems to be working!
Instead of sleeping 17 - 21 hours a day and still feeling tired, I am averaging around 11-12 hours of sleep everyday and am wide awoke! This is a miracle! However, so far that's how things are going. So far is the key, who knows what could happen from this decrease in medicine. It's only been 2 weeks. We'll see but I am enjoying it. Anyway, I have problems but I don't have problems. I have money problems, but it can be fixed. I run out of money at the end of the month. All I have to do is allot more money to food expenses or cut back on eating out. I pay all of my bills and expenses and everything is current. I have family problems, but it's nothing abnormal or something families in the USA have not heard of. My big brother doesn't call or keep up with us, but he's living his life and that's just the way he is. He doesn't like mom smothering him and doesn't like to talk about his business. We recently saw him and his sons over the holidays and everyone seems to be doing fine, just not keeping up with them like we want. My sister has big problems but that's her life and her choices, there is nothing that can be done about it. Plus, it's really none of my business, that's her life. I get along really well with my parents and have a few friends. I don't have a significant other but I will have one someday. I am getting comfortable with the single life, and a significant other is needed but I have faith one day the right good man will come along. I keep my apartment clean, so clean that people come over and are constantly telling me my apartment is clean. With me having more energy and being awoke, I can clean it more and on a schedule.
I'm just indulging in hobbies (music, tv, movies, video games, news, and etc.) and enjoying life. I'm used to having more problems or problems bothering me more. I'm used to every time I turn around, here's a new problem or a problem just got worse. People do still make fun of me and laugh at me, but it's bothering me less and less everyday. A person laughed at me today, looked right dead at me, laughed in my face, and walked to his vehicle. I processed it, but it didn't hurt my feelings. I felt the negativity, but it didn't bother me. I noticed it but moved on and am not thinking about it much.By the way, if someone laughs at you and you just take it and move on, did it bother you if you felt negativity? Anyway, that used to be a huge problem for me. But ever since I've gotten closer to my creator, it's bothering me less and less.
I know I should not be complacent and think my life is perfect, but I am really starting to LOVE my life now. I know it's not perfect, but I've never been this happy before. I want this to continue but I know it may or may not.
My question is, should I forget about those problems or any problems and be happy? Or should I have a sports athlete's mentality, that there is always something to work on? I don't want to be complacent, but at the same time I know you should be happy no matter what in life. I just don't want to be let down.
What should I do? How should I think about happiness? Is happiness really fleeting?
Last but the most, I thank my creator for any and all of my positive and happiness or whatever this warm feeling is that feels so good. I thank everyone who has ever prayed for me. It feels like your prayers are being answered.
