Larry Mondello
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- Dec 3, 2011
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Yes, it's clearly the "refused's" responsibility if he/she has an affair, jumping straight into sleeping around behind his/her partner's back without trying to figure out what's going on with his/her spouse that is making them uninterested to be intimate and maybe trying something like, I don't know, talking to them or maybe counselling and satisfying their urges by themselves (yes, I know, "masturbation is bad" etcetera but really in this situation I think it's a little worse to be playing around with someone's heart by cheating on them than just spending five or so minutes dealing with themselves and not hurting anyone).
OF COURSE I've talked with her, asked her what's wrong, if she's feeling guilty bec. of our premarital sex, etc., as she recently expressed.
Are you actually serious right now. I hope you stuck that in there because it's so ridiculous and not because you think of it to be correct.
Wasn't justifying someone committing adultery, but was merely saying a spouse who plays it cold and keeps their spouse at a far distance in the sexual arena isn't very smart. Said "some" responsibility.
If a wife only "allows" her husband the "privilege" of enjoying her body maybe 2X a year -- if that -- can mess-up a husband.
Actions have consequences.
The Christian authors I quoted, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, explain what a refusing spouse, particularly a frigid wife, can do to her husband by being stingy and miserly in bed.
Rekindling the Romance
By: Dennis Rainey, Barbara Rainey, Bob DeMoss
Thomas Nelson / 2005 / Paperback
http://www.christianbook.com/rekindling-the-romance-dennis-rainey/9780785285564/pd/85563/1300230345?event=111604SBF|31158|82680
Lemmee guess here, you've never been married, right?The "refuser" has EVERY right to turn their husband (or wife, I'm sure some men have refused sex before) away if they don't want to have sex with them at that moment. Sometimes it's a result of some sort of an event that's making them unhappy or stressed so their not in the mood, maybe they have a lot to do so they're too tired or maybe it's a result of some mental dilemma and they just don't WANT to. No one is "forcing" their partner to find sexual satisfaction elsewhere, their partner is CHOOSING to find it elsewhere instead of dealing with it in another way.
A spouse's body doesn't belong only to that spouse. Sex is one reason people marry.
A spouse CONSTANTLY and CONSISTENTLY refusing to make themselves sexually available to the other is playing a deadly game, and causing unnecessary friction and hostility in a marriage, which the refused spouse also shares.
Again here. Maybe instead of just assuming something's wrong with him he should ask his wife what's up? It's called communication. Relationships are based on it.
Duh. Men DO ask their wives what's up.
But the refusers often don't want to talk about it and they recoil and withdraw.
He fears something's wrong but she won't tell him. He's tried to dig into the problem (many times) but he can't read her mind.
She rejects each and every one of his advances.
That's not good for a marriage.
That hypothetical man is ME.This hypothetical man you're talking about here doesn't seem like someone I'd want to be around.
Men DO stake a lot of their emotions in the actions of their wives, as those authors state.
Am so mad about this situation.
I just wanna to make love with her once in a while and on a "regular" schedule, like weekends.
I read online about the great sex other married Christians enjoy, an area deemed "off limits" to me.
Just like when I was single through most of my 20s, particularly 19-25, when "Good Christian women" didn't know I existed, though I was a decent-looking "regular guy" who clearly had their best interests in mind, one who respected their Christian morality and wanted a long-term relationship leading to marriage.
Acted like a "gentleman" toward them and didn't press them for sex like the other jerks.
But look what it got me.
Those "Good Christian women," the ones who wouldn't give me a chance -- and women in general -- seemed remote and unattainable to me as well.
Just like something else is "off-limits" to me today...
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