Is it selfish

[heart of peace]

ok i hate to say it but no it isn't selfish to expect my husband to work out side of the home while i work in the home raising our kids! it's a biblical pattern! wives are to be workers at home! that is what a homemaker means.

coffeegal, I am sure this is a conviction you receive for your life based on the Bible but I completely disagree. Please keep your personal Biblical convictions out of a topic discussing why you and your spouse chose that you stayed home. All it does is make those who aren't able to stay home wonder if they are out of Biblical order.

Also, I am a Christian yes but I also am a woman who believes that women have worked hard to be treated fairly. That means that women should not be automatically viewed to be homemakers. Rather, it is her choice to be viewed as such not society's choice.

 

[Laurie919]

coffeegal, I am sure this is a conviction you receive for your life based on the Bible but I completely disagree. Please keep your personal Biblical convictions out of a topic discussing why you and your spouse chose that you stayed home. All it does is make those who aren't able to stay home wonder if they are out of Biblical order.

Also, I am a Christian yes but I also am a woman who believes that women have worked hard to be treated fairly. That means that women should not be automatically viewed to be homemakers. Rather, it is her choice to be viewed as such not society's choice.

I think most of us that can't stay home realize that it isn't bibical order for our familes to be homeless, so it is ok for her to say her convictions are bibical in my opinion. The bible also says if a man does not work he does not eat. So, I think that ok's it for any of us to work, lol.

 

[tiredwalker]

coffeegal, I am sure this is a conviction you receive for your life based on the Bible but I completely disagree. Please keep your personal Biblical convictions out of a topic discussing why you and your spouse chose that you stayed home. All it does is make those who aren't able to stay home wonder if they are out of Biblical order.

Also, I am a Christian yes but I also am a woman who believes that women have worked hard to be treated fairly. That means that women should not be automatically viewed to be homemakers. Rather, it is her choice to be viewed as such not society's choice.

I agree with this. It is up to each family. I'm so glad that I've had the opportunity to teach hundreds of high school students and am looking forward to the time when I will get to teach again. Staying home to raise my kids is very important to me, but it is not what defines me.

When looking at the biblical "stay at home mom" we see a very different model that what we see in America (don't worry, I'm not saying we're lazy, just blessed to have more). There was a lot more hard labor going on and the kids were playing around it.

My great-grandmother was this kind of SAHM (she lived in a two room shack in "the old country"). Her seven children played with bugs and rocks (or helped work if they were old enough) while she tended the garden, hand-washed and hand-sewed their clothes (sometimes out of flour sacks), butchered chickens and geese, cooked, baked, canned food for winter, etc. When there was a precious new baby, he/she was strapped to her and dragged along as soon after birth as possible. Obviously, life is a lot easier for us than this, but the biblical SAHM was still a very hard worker.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but if one is going to use the Bible as a standard for being a SAHM, one needs to make sure that one is working as hard.

 

[heart of peace]

Allow me to clarify: Her personal convictions are different from implying that the Biblical pattern is that wives are to be homemakers, Laurie. She is interpreting Scripture for her personal life and making general applications to the marital-parent-child dynamic. I won't allow a potential lurker to read this and think that how one person applies Biblical related situations to her life should be equated to how it applies to others as well.

 

[heart of peace]

tiredwalker, well said!

 

[MyaShane]

Why do you even come in threads I start, you know we don't get along. Wouldn't it be better to just leave me alone? For us to just leave each other alone. It is apparent we don't like each other, we aren't going to get along. You say hateful hurtful things, I say hateful hurtful things. It would be best to just avoid one another.

If you leave me alone and I leave you alone it would give people less reason to hit the report button. Then there can be peace in parenting again.

Honestly Laurie, if you don't want the opinions of the public, don't post on a public forum. You don't have any right to suggest to anyone here not to post in your threads; once you open a thread, it's open to all like it or not.

I think this is a silly thread to be honest. How can we begin to reach any conclusions on so personal a topic anyway. There are threads available for SAHMs and for working moms, topics like this only serve to pit us one against the other. I hope that's not your purpose.

 

[coffeegal]

i stay home because like others have said- he can make more money than i can. plus being pregnant as often as i have been the last 8 years i would have been out of work too much.

 

[tiredwalker]

I think most of us that can't stay home realize that it isn't bibical order for our familes to be homeless, so it is ok for her to say her convictions are bibical in my opinion. The bible also says if a man does not work he does not eat. So, I think that ok's it for any of us to work, lol.

I don't think you should have to defend working while your child is still under your care. You are a single mom and you have the ability to work. Also, you're daughter is school age, and what would you be doing while she is at school? I fully intend to go back to work when the kids are old enough. I don't have any skills that would allow me to work from home for a decent wage, and I would feel foolish puttering around the house all day while DH and the kids are working and learning...I'd also be bored to death.

Being a SAHM is a very valid form of work, though. Obviously there are some lazy ones here and there (as with everything else), but when taken as a job, it's hard work. The job does not just entail keeping everyone/everthing clean and providing meals. It is also teaching the children good character, hard work, and anything you can about the world we live in. It's not just a teachers job to teach! It's the parents too.

So, for those who have the opportunity to say home, there should be no guilt. For those who have to work, there should be no guilt. As parents, we do the best that we can. Sooo, for what it's worth.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Ignore button- it's a wonderful feature

 

[Manna]

Ignore button- it's a wonderful feature

 

[heart of peace]

tiredwalker, you could do a number of things when your kids are school age though --- go back to school, join a non-profit organization and volunteer, be involved as much as possible in your child's classroom included PTA related activities, et cetera. Once your kids are school aged and you are working, it is much harder to be a direct influence in the classroom and in so doing getting to know the teacher on a more personal level. Also, you can be there for your child when he or she gets off the bus with a hot meal already prepared for him or her.

Just wanted to point out that when they are in school, there are other things to do besides working to keep you occupied.

 

[Laurie919]

Ignore button- it's a wonderful feature

I am now using it.

 

[Laurie919]

Honestly Laurie, if you don't want the opinions of the public, don't post on a public forum. You don't have any right to suggest to anyone here not to post in your threads; once you open a thread, it's open to all like it or not.

I think this is a silly thread to be honest. How can we begin to reach any conclusions on so personal a topic anyway. There are threads available for SAHMs and for working moms, topics like this only serve to pit us one against the other. I hope that's not your purpose.

I was trying to ask her to leave me alone and I will leave her alone, it is obvious we will never see eye to eye and we don't like each other. If I don't like what a person has to say or ask I don't go in treads they started.

 

[Leanna]

Being a SAHM is a very valid form of work, though. Obviously there are some lazy ones here and there (as with everything else), but when taken as a job, it's hard work. The job does not just entail keeping everyone/everthing clean and providing meals. It is also teaching the children good character, hard work, and anything you can about the world we live in. It's not just a teachers job to teach! It's the parents too.

The rest of your post was good too!

 

[Laurie919]

tiredwalker, you could do a number of things when your kids are school age though --- go back to school, join a non-profit organization and volunteer, be involved as much as possible in your child's classroom included PTA related activities, et cetera. Once your kids are school aged and you are working, it is much harder to be a direct influence in the classroom and in so doing getting to know the teacher on a more personal level. Also, you can be there for your child when he or she gets off the bus with a hot meal already prepared for him or her.

Just wanted to point out that when they are in school, there are other things to do besides working to keep you occupied.

I am involved with the PTA, have been on every class field trip and am at the school when ever I am needed and that is with working full time. Taylor is that important to me.

TW is a teacher I can understand her wanting to go back to work when her children are in school. Also, why not help the family finances if you can instead of volunteering? I can see volunteering if you have tons of money and never need extra money, but I don't know a lot of people like that.

 

[Leanna]

it is obvious we will never see eye to eye and we don't like each other.

For the record, this is not by my choice.

About threads, I just go into threads that have topics that interest me.... I don't choose which threads to go into based on whether or not I agree with the opening poster.

I don't "dislike" anyone.... do I have to agree with a person to like them? Can people who are different still get along? I think they can. There are lots of posters here I don't agree with but still get along with and some of them I would even consider an internet buddy.

All I am asking for is for these posts to stop, the ones about "she..." (being me). I just want to post on topics that interest me. That's why I am here.

I am beyond relieved if I am now ignored.... you have no idea

 

[Redguard]

girls...

can't we all just get along?

 

[Leanna]

girls...

can't we all just get along?

I'm trying.... REALLY HARD....

 

[heart of peace]

That was very mature of you, Leanna. You get a gold star for the day I'm totally being silly.

Laurie, I didn't mean that tiredwalker shouldn't go back. It seems I am either not speaking clearly or you just read what you want. I said that there are other things to do to keep occupied during school hours once a child is school aged. Being a teacher is irrelevant to my point.

 

[Redguard]

I'm trying.... REALLY HARD....

This all reminds me of when I pick up Pinkguard from school and she tells me about all the 4-yr old drama that she endures with the other girls in her school.

"I don't like your boots!"
"You can't come to my birthday party! You don't have enough money!"
"Why does your hair look like that?"
"You can't play with us. Jessica said so!"

Draaamaaaaa