Is it selfish

[Laurie919]

How do you decide who is going to be home with the kids and doesn't each parent deserve equal time with the children?

 

[Green Orchid]

Laurie. You have made your point. Please stop trying to make SAHM feel guilty for doing what they believe is right.
And if you can't do that, feel free to leave the Parenting forum.

 

[Laurie919]

Laurie. You have made your point. Please stop trying to make SAHM feel guilty for doing what they believe is right.
And if you can't do that, feel free to leave the Parenting forum.

I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just want to know how it was decided who would stay home.

 

[Surrender2Win]

I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just want to know how it was decided who would stay home.

That is not what you asked...you didn't say...if your a stay at home mother, how did your husband and you decide who would stay at home. You said, is it selfish to expect the husband to work so you can be a SAHM.....

and my feelings are that it's not really anyones business. It's between my husband and I and believe me...he would much rather go to work then stay at home with the kids, because staying at home with your kids is hard work.

 

[Green Orchid]

I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just want to know how it was decided who would stay home.

But what's the question behind your question? It obviously doesn't apply to you.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

each family makes the decision that they feel is best for their situation...
My DH says he would gladly work as many jobs as needed because WE feel it is important to have me home with the kids, for many reasons.

now I'm withdrawing from what I'm sure will become a flame-war...

 

[Laurie919]

But what's the question behind your question? It obviously doesn't apply to you.

For the first time recently I have noticed a couple people say they have stay at home dads. I was just curious how common this is.

 

[heart of peace]

Surrender2Win said it well, since you tend to have a personal agenda when making posts like these my response to this question is the same:

It is a private and personal decision between my husband and I that works for our family and what we intend for our family.

I certainly am not at all comfortable providing any personal details about my life with you after all I have seen of you to date.

 

[Laurie919]

This is 2008 I don't see why the man couldn't stay home for a season then the women take a turn.

I don't see anything wrong with a woman staying home if that is what her family has decided. If you can afford to do so that is wonderful. I personally couldn't do it because I would hate to ask a man for money even if it were family money. I would never feel like I could do anything for Taylor. `

 

[heart of peace]

Umm...Laurie, are you trying to be controversial or does it just come naturally

I fail to see where anyone said that the father couldn't stay home with his children, which leads me to wonder if you just enjoy strife.

 

[Laurie919]

Umm...Laurie, are you trying to be controversial or does it just come naturally

I fail to see where anyone said that the father couldn't stay home with his children, which leads me to wonder if you just enjoy strife.

I saw two post in the last two days that said something about dad staying home. Those are the first I have seen like that. I am not trying to be diffucult.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

ask a man for money because you're a SAHM? That's not the model of 'family' or 'marriage' I'd describe.

 

[Laurie919]

ask a man for money because you're a SAHM? That's not the model of 'family' or 'marriage' I'd describe.

Well not all marriages.

 

[heart of peace]

You added on to that post after I replied.

For the record, I put single parents in their own category. Single parents have their work cut out for them! I give single parents props for having to raise a child alone. They must fulfill many more roles than what would be required had their been two parents involved.

In my opinion, daycare is meant for single parent families. I admire single mothers and basically having the full weight of the responsibility to parent their child while providing sustenance, well, that is a heavy cross to bear.

 

[Laurie919]

Umm...Laurie, are you trying to be controversial or does it just come naturally

I fail to see where anyone said that the father couldn't stay home with his children, which leads me to wonder if you just enjoy strife.

Oh and I did change the first post trying to keep it from being so offensive.

 

[Laurie919]

I should point out that it is my opinion that even if I married tomorrow and married someone where I would not have to work, I would still work. She would not be his responsibiliy she is mine not ours.

 

[heart of peace]

Staying home to raise a child requires certain qualities:

- Nurturing spirit
- Patience
- Ability to withstand cabin fever
- Enjoying it
- Constantly having to plan various activities for the day
- Being able to remain on a schedule even though you are not "on a clock" and are in the comfort of your "home".
- Willingness to sacrifice some of your own identity at times (um...not being able to drink a cup of coffee in peace or go to the bathroom without someone needing something, etc)
- Being able to keep your cool in the midst of an enraged child's temper tantrum

 

[Green Orchid]

In my opinion, daycare is meant for single parent families. I admire single mothers and basically having the full weight of the responsibility to parent their child while providing sustenance, well, that is a heavy cross to bear.

Very well said.

 

[Manna]

I'm a single mother, and God laid it VERY strongly on my heart that I needed to be the only caregiver to my child. My husband died the day after she turned 4 months old, and I was actually on my own from the time I was 6 months pregnant, even though he was still alive at that time.

It was really scary to agree to what I felt God calling me to do in my parenting, but God has been faithful and has provided for us every step of the way. It is such an honor to be able to stay with my daughter 24/7, I am so thrilled that God is working this out for us.

For the record, before my husband passed away we had whole-heartedly agreed that one of us would be staying home with her, and it would most likely be me, as long as his job was secure at the time of her delivery.

 

[Laurie919]

I'm a single mother, and God laid it VERY strongly on my heart that I needed to be the only caregiver to my child. My husband died the day after she turned 4 months old, and I was actually on my own from the time I was 6 months pregnant, even though he was still alive at that time.

It was really scary to agree to what I felt God calling me to do in my parenting, but God has been faithful and has provided for us every step of the way. It is such an honor to be able to stay with my daughter 24/7, I am so thrilled that God is working this out for us.

For the record, before my husband passed away we had whole-heartedly agreed that one of us would be staying home with her, and it would most likely be me, as long as his job was secure at the time of her delivery.

You are very blessed that you are able to stay home as a single mom. Again I don't think it is wrong to stay at home if you can really afford it.

I had an interesting experience like that to, God told me he would honor that I was raising Taylor and gave her life, that I would always be blessed. My income is almost five times what was now than it was the year she was born.