Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

[Goodbook]

Wasnt it Henry the eighth who had all those wives, but he killed them first by beheading since he couldnt divorce them since he couldnt have a son or something.

Anyway...I have seen christian divorcees who remarry and I dont think it works. There is a sacrifice involved...usually its the children who get the worst deal from it but i have witnessed arguments in public and its not pretty. On the part of the second wife, she is willing to compromise her relationship with God to be with a man..mostly in the area of finances. Basically she is wanting someone to fund a lifestyle.


When it comes right down to it. If you are honest search your heart OP why do you want to date a divorcee? If the man is divorced for any length of time its likely they are going to be independently well off and their ex is actually struggling.

 

[PollyJetix]

Wasnt it Henry the eighth who had all those wives, but he killed them first by beheading since he couldnt divorce them since he couldnt have a son or something.

Anyway...I have seen christian divorcees who remarry and I dont think it works. There is a sacrifice involved...usually its the children who get the worst deal from it but i have witnessed arguments in public and its not pretty. On the part of the second wife, she is willing to compromise her relationship with God to be with a man..mostly in the area of finances. Basically she is wanting someone to fund a lifestyle.


When it comes right down to it. If you are honest search your heart OP why do you want to date a divorcee? If the man is divorced for any length of time its likely they are going to be independently well off and their ex is actually struggling.

So much judgmentalism.
If you were a divorcee, you wouldn't feel this way.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Love others as you would be loved.

All the "difficulties" you mention with marrying a divorced woman, comes from not loving as Christ loves. I have seen very loving second marriages after divorce. One in particular comes to mind... 4 little girls grew up with a very loving step-mother. Their mother had run off with another man. This step-mother made all the difference in their lives. And the marriage? Still going very strong after many years. And both love God deeply.

It's important to arrive at our conclusions not based on our personal "observations" of how things seem to work out (to our judgmental eyes) but instead on what the Bible says.

 

[PeterDona]

I found a passage that would be interesting to our discussion on the word "wife" in the Bible here: http://www.marriagedivorce.com/Divorce-and-Remarriage.pdf

In the N.T. the words used for “man” and “husband” are the same Greek word “ Aner” (435), and the same applies to the words used for “woman” and “wife” “Gune” (1135). This means that when the translators use the word, “husband”, they could often just as easily have used the word “man”.

 

[Kenny'sID]

Betrothals can be broken if the woman turned out not to be a virgin.

Not sure how it came out, but that's what I was saying...that is if you are stating the husband can remarry if the new wiif turns out to not be a virgin.

The law allowed for the husband to make an accusation against his wife, based only on suspicion... and if she was proven guilty, she could be stoned.

I wasn't arguing an old testament punishment that is no longer valid, only...well.. what I said in the prior post. Actually I wasn't arguing anything...just stating what I thought were reasons one can remarry.

I did answer your question, you just dont like the answer.

You commented, but gave no answer to my question. Sorry, man, it's tough...I get it, whatever you do to deal with it is up to you.

 

[PollyJetix]

I wasn't arguing an old testament punishment that is no longer valid, only...well.. what I said in the prior post. Actually I wasn't arguing anything...just stating what I thought were reasons one can remarry.

I'm sorry. I went back and retraced the conversation, and I misunderstood what you had said to her.

However, what you are doing is exactly what I was talking about, in post #458, when I said...

And that's where a careful, conscientious approach to the New Testament will take you, if the entire Law is done away in Christ. The entire New Testament is turned into a book of rules, to be applied as carefully as a rabbi would try to parse the Law.

 

[Light of the East]

I checked out the publishing dates on The Two Babylons. It was published in 1916, 1943, 1959, and maybe more since then as my copy is old, at least from 1959.

I'm not a Catholicism hater. But I do take issue with some of its practices. Mostly those originating in paganism. Why has that mixture never been cleaned out of the Catholic and Orthodox churches, and even some Reformation churches are a hold-over to paganism. Never understood why. Maybe you can tell me.

Suppose instead of making a broad brush statement like you just did, you take the time to make a list and post it of the so-called "paganisms" which infest Catholicism and Holy Orthodoxy.

Then I will be happy to discourse with you.

 

[Light of the East]

Just curious as I am reading all I missed. Do you celebrate Christmas and Easter?

We celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world on a day which was in the West originally called "Christ's Mass" and was shortened to Christmas. We also celebrate the Resurrection from the dead of Christ, who by His death conquered death.

Do you not celebrate these days? Do they not mean anything to you at all? If not, then why, seeing that they have to do with the salvation of the world.

 

[PollyJetix]

Not sure how it came out, but that's what I was saying...that is if you are stating the husband can remarry if the new wiif turns out to not be a virgin.
.

Question: how could a man know if his intended was indeed a virgin, before marriage?
2 ways--commit fornication, to see if she is... or abstain from fornication, and if she gets pregnant, he knows it wasn't him!

Therefore, the Law would have allowed him to divorce her (even to have her stoned) AFTER marriage if he found out she was not a virgin...

But you are saying the NT gives no liberty to divorce a wife after the marriage, if you discover on the wedding night, that she lied to you, and was formerly a prostitute, and infected with an STD??

 

[PollyJetix]

Suppose instead of making a broad brush statement like you just did, you take the time to make a list and post it of the so-called "paganisms" which infest Catholicism and Holy Orthodoxy.

Then I will be happy to discourse with you.

would you mind creating a new thread for that discussion?
This is derailing the conversation here.

 

[Light of the East]

Hi. Could you tell me if the Roman Catholic Church is THE Church, or the Greek Orthodox Church is THE Church, or the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church is THE Church? What about the 30,000 plus denominations? Are any of them THE Church, or do you believe they ALL are THE Church?

The Church is a single body which began in the desert with Moses and the people whom he took out of Egypt. The word "edah" in Hebrew means "congregation" or "gathering" and is the word translated as Church. In the Greek, the word is "eklessia" and carries the same meaning.

The Church is a single body which has a visible structure, hierarchical oversight by bishops, and a visible place of worship and structured Liturgy. Given this definition, which is found in scripture, no - non-Catholic and non-Orthodox assemblies are NOT the Church. They have no connection whatsoever.

The Church is composed of the Holy Orthodox and Catholic Churches, who at this time are not in communion with each other but have valid Sacraments and apostolic succession of leadership. Under the heading of Orthodoxy are five patriarchal "sees" or seats of leadership. Under the heading of Catholic are 23 "sui juris" (self-governing) independent churches under the headship and leadership of the bishop of Rome.


Orthodoxy and Catholicism, while separated from each other, are nonetheless, by virtue of apostolic succession and valid Sacraments, the Church. No other body may call itself that. This is Sutton's 5th principle of covenant theology - succession of leadership and continuation of the covenant community.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I'm sorry. I went back and retraced the conversation, and I misunderstood what you had said to her.

However, what you are doing is exactly what I was talking about, in post #458, when I said...

I know your stance on this...the OP asked, I answered.

I feel for them as I've made clear a few times but I'm not going to sugar coat the truth, and I'm old enough to expect just what I'll get from some.

I would dearly love for someone to convince me and others we are wrong on this, but the "oh, you should be nicer, it's biblical" doesn't, and should not change the truth. How nice would I be if I said it was all ok, don't worry, be happy, if it feels right, it must be right...etc, and in the end, it tuned out to be a very serious problem when it comes to eternity?

 

[Kenny'sID]

But you are saying the NT gives no liberty to divorce a wife after the marriage, if you discover on the wedding night, that she lied to you, and was formerly a prostitute, and infected with an STD??

No, I'm saying the opposite.

I'm batting zero on getting my point across on this thread.

 

[BukiRob]

Yes, the "that the woman was not a virgin" is covered in 1 Cor. 7 "Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned." Betrothals can be broken if the woman turned out not to be a virgin." Betrothed virgins were also called a "wife."

The bride price is set based upon the woman being a virgin. A girl can lose her virginity for reasons having nothing to do with penetrative intercourse.

If a girl claims to be a virgin her bride price is set based off that if it is then discovered she is not the betrothal can be broken and she can be stoned at her fathers front door.

 

[BukiRob]

The Ten Commandments are not called the laws of Moses.

Yes they are. They are found in the Torah which IS the Law of Moche.

 

[PollyJetix]

I know your stance on this...the OP asked, I answered.

I feel for them as I've made clear a few times but I'm not going to sugar coat the truth, and I'm old enough to expect just what I'll get from some.

I would dearly love for someone to convince me and others we are wrong on this, but the "oh, you should be nicer, it's biblical" doesn't, and should not change the truth. How nice would I be if I said it was all ok, don't worry, be happy, if it feels right, it must be right...etc, and in the end, it tuned out to be a very serious problem when it comes to eternity?

...based on this reply, I really don't think you have read my posts.
"oh, you should be nicer, it's biblical"... and..."ok, don't worry, be happy, if it feels right, it must be right.." is not what I have been saying.

 

[PollyJetix]

Whoa! I pop in here this afternoon, and it doesn't seem like the same place. New colors, a few new buttons...

 

[Sword of the Lord]

If we want to be radical believers and follow the narrow road, the divorce has to have been only for the reason Jesus gave. Unfortunately, the road is wide, and we must trust in his saving power.

 

[1stcenturylady]

Yes, it is good to live alone, and Paul even teaches it, and he went that way himself. Now my contribution in this thread has focused on 1 Corinthians 7, and I will not divert that focus. I do believe in a strict stance against remarriage, and divorce only under very rare conditions like it being necessary for peace.

It seems that many people are seeking theological foundation for living in their sin. The basic problem behind all this really is that the foundation is bad. A gospel is preached that requires no repentance, or perhaps only a superficial repentance. So really as a consequence, worldliness has crept into the churches, and actually many sitting in the churches sunday after sunday are unsaved, even in the pentecostal churches now. And so, worldliness is taking over when the fear of God has left. People will say, how can I have fulfillment in this life, rather than seeking to do Gods will.

The use of 1 corinthians 7:15 to preach freedom to remarry was unheard of until Erasmus (a humanist) around 1500, and the damage he caused was so great that the catholic church even sent and digged up his grave and spread his ashes. Well, his philosophy also created the split of the Church of England from the Catholic church, so the consequences already in his time where tangible.

Maybe it is really in the problem of translation. It was at the same time that the first translations of the Bible surfaced, so I would believe that Erasmus simply read the KJV or the Tyndale or something, and came across 7:15 and said, oops here is something that can be used.

Didn't Erasmus use Tyndale's Bible to help write the KJV? Or am I mistaken?

 

[Kenny'sID]

...based on this reply, I really don't think you have read my posts.
"oh, you should be nicer, it's biblical"... and..."ok, don't worry, be happy, if it feels right, it must be right.." is not what I have been saying.

That's the overall idea I'm getting from some here. Not you? good.

 

[PollyJetix]

Didn't Erasmus use Tyndale's Bible to help write the KJV? Or am I mistaken?

Check out the History section of this page:
King James Version - Wikipedia