Is it okay to date another Christian whose been divorced?

[PollyJetix]

Polly, my husband was abusive too, and I too said the same thing. "Even if he kills me, I won't sin against God."

God honored that stance in both of us and caused us to be free, by both of these "Christian" in name only, men leaving us. ... "

I don't want him back. (Please, Lord, no!)
But I shudder for his soul.
I care enough about him that I would do anything to keep him from hellfire.
I would die to keep him out of hell.
I pray constantly, "Father, forgive him! He didn't know what he was doing!"

 

[PollyJetix]

In the Orthodox Church, one can be remarried twice (three marriages in total). However, a priest cannot have married a divorcee or afaik a widower; also once ordained, if a priest divorces, he cannot remarry; if he is widowed, he likewise cannot remarry, and if he is unmarried when ordained he cannot marry. However married priests are not required to be celibate.

That's how traditions put upon you a yoke heavier than the Word of God does.

 

[PollyJetix]

In the OT, the sexual adulterer would have been killed, thus making their mate a widow/widower and free to remarry. Marrying a guilty divorced person is an abomination.

And here is the root of our disagreement.

Suppose an adulterer of the world divorces his Christian wife, and married his girlfriend.
Suppose his Christian wife remarries (which you say she is free to do.)

Now, this adulterer is out in the world. He is dead in sin.
But he genuinely becomes born again.
He realizes his sin in what he did to his former wife, and repents.
He asks God for forgiveness.
And He is forgiven. God washes that sin away, and never remembers it again!

This man is born again, and in the church.
His former wife is remarried, because she was freed from him.

Are you saying that because of a sin which God can no longer remember, this man is sentenced by God to break up his current legal marriage (it matters not whether there are young children or not!) and to live alone for the rest of his life?

That doesn't make sense to me.

 

[PollyJetix]

How do I delete double post?

I don't think ya can. I'm sorry. LOL

 

[PollyJetix]

I'm_Sorry...
You are not ready to make any kind of commitment to celibacy at the moment.
Your wife just died. You still love her deeply, even though she's gone.
You need time.

It took me 12 years to realize I was no longer "in love" with my husband.

Some people love that deeply.

 

[PollyJetix]

Can/have you controlled your eye to never lust? and if you lust, you commit adultery with her in your heart.

What do you do if you perpetually commit adultery in your heart while in Christ?

Sorry, I'm posting so much here... I just got home from work...

Jesus did not say we are guilty if we are tempted.
Jesus Himself was tempted.
Temptation is not a sin.

What Jesus was talking about was purposeful, intentional gazing, with the mental activity pursuing down roads of sin. It's a leering exercise of the imagination. It involves giving-over the will.

This is not a bird flying over the head, dropping a dollop on you.
This is a person building a birdhouse, hoping the birds come to stay.

Jesus was talking about lusting in the heart.
Not in the head.
And there's a difference. A difference of intention and of choice.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

There was a part of me that knew the exception to marriage, that being, if I committed adultery first I'd release my first wife to do as she pleased as she no longer loved me and wanted me.

It was like a race to mend my broken heart, release her from marital bondage (no more adultery on her account) and my sexual relief after a very sexually active marriage.

I was 28, an immature man and immature in the Spirit.

Divorce causes chaos.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

Sorry, I'm posting so much here... I just got home from work...

Jesus did not say we are guilty if we are tempted.
Jesus Himself was tempted.
Temptation is not a sin.

What Jesus was talking about was purposeful, intentional gazing, with the mental activity pursuing down roads of sin. It's a leering exercise of the imagination. It involves giving-over the will.

This is not a bird flying over the head, dropping a dollop on you.
This is a person building a birdhouse, hoping the birds come to stay.

Jesus was talking about lusting in the heart.
Not in the head.
And there's a difference. A difference of intention and of choice.

Its a tight rope for us males (I'm generalizing) between temptation and adultery in the heart.

I committed it countless times when I was married at age 21-28

If there was a drug to kill sex drive, where do I sign up? /humor

But in honesty, is it age that lowers labedo in men, not sure about women?

For me Christs resistance of temptation is to be Glorified Forever and Ever! He truly is the Son of God.

I'm at age 32 He was 33 when he died? I'm like the most putrid filthy rag with a mind of a gold fish next to Him

 

[PollyJetix]

Its a tight rope for us males (I'm generalizing) between temptation and adultery in the heart.

I committed it countless times when I was married at age 21-28

If there was a drug to kill sex drive, where do I sign up? /humor

But in honesty, is it age that lowers labedo in men, not sure about women?

For me Christs resistance of temptation is to be Glorified Forever and Ever! He truly is the Son of God.

I'm at age 32 he was 33 when he died? I'm like the most putrid filthy rag next to Him

From my research, women's sex drive increases until about age 45... at that age, it's about equal to a male's average drive at age 17.
Yikes.

 

[I'm_Sorry]

From my research, women's sex drive increases until about age 45... at that age, it's about equal to a male's average drive at age 17.
Yikes.

Rough road!

God is our strength thanks be to God!

 

[1stcenturylady]

Even in Old Covenant times, the Law was not applied as strictly as we would think.
David was an adulterer, and he was not put to death for it.

Right, God punished him Himself. Why not the people? Because David was anointed. There was the command of "Touch not My Annointed."

 

[98cwitr]

Whoa.... that is talking about a man divorcing his wife, she remarries the 2nd husband divorces her and then the first husband remarries her.

Right, I understand that. But why does it say she was "defiled"

 

[1stcenturylady]

I don't want him back. (Please, Lord, no!)
But I shudder for his soul.
I care enough about him that I would do anything to keep him from hellfire.
I would die to keep him out of hell.
I pray constantly, "Father, forgive him! He didn't know what he was doing!"

That is why I ask, "what about him." I know I'm free, but he was a Christian, is he still saved? I know he never repented.

He knew the Word. He seduced this woman (the wife of his best friend) by preaching Jesus to her. He became her savior, guru, whatever to her and he ate it up.

 

[1stcenturylady]

Right, I understand that. But why does it say she was "defiled"

Because her first husband still lived. This is in scripture if she had done some sexual sin. Her husband put her away. They had different methods of purifying Israel. Either they stoned them to death, or put them out of the camp with a writ of divorcement. (Divorce for any reason came much latter from the teachings of Rabbis, the Talmid)

 

[1stcenturylady]

Because her first husband still lived.

.

 

[Light of the East]

Are you saying then, that ONE of those two out of a broken marriage is no longer married to the other?
Because that's the position "perpetual adultery" leaves you in.
If only ONE person is free to remarry, but the other is not, then you have a marriage in God's eyes, that only exists for one person... the one who broke it via adultery.

Neither one is free to marry. What part of Jesus's words do you not understand?

 

[PollyJetix]

Right, God punished him Himself. Why not the people? Because David was anointed. There was the command of "Touch not My Annointed."

So... are you saying no king should ever be punished by law?

 

[1stcenturylady]

So... are you saying no king should ever be punished by law?

I'm not talking about Saddam Hussein, I'm talking about GOD'S anointed.

 

[PollyJetix]

That is why I ask, "what about him." I know I'm free, but he was a Christian, is he still saved? I know he never repented.

He knew the Word. He seduced this woman (the wife of his best friend) by preaching Jesus to her. He became her savior, guru, whatever to her and he ate it up.

And I am convinced that no one can commit adultery, and remain a Christian.

 

[1stcenturylady]

And I am convinced that no one can commit adultery, and remain a Christian.

Yes, that is willful sin. They have trampled on the Spirit of Grace. However, are they all the way back to perdition - not capable of repenting?